Dan Evans broke down in tears as he revealed the toll of a difficult few months and the feelings of inadequacy that has brought.
The former British number one needed a wild card to get into Wimbledon after his ranking plummeted to 215 last month, although he will be close to the top 150 again on Monday after beating two top-20 opponents in Frances Tiafoe and Tommy Paul.
Evans struggled to hold back tears after the latter result at Eastbourne earlier this week and it was the same story in the press room at the All England Club as he opened up on the reality of trying to stave off retirement.
“It’s not the matches, it’s when you feel like you’ve let people down, that’s the tougher thing about it,” said the 35-year-old.
“I don’t worry about retirement but it’s just different isn’t it? To start losing, it’s scary at the end of the day to know sometimes you’re not good enough. It’s not an easy thing in sport to not be good enough.
“I’m not scared of hard work, I’m more than happy to play the Challengers, it’s just when you shut the door at night and you do wonder what other people are thinking, what your wife’s thinking, is she thinking, ‘come on mate, give this up’, or your dad, your parents?
“It’s not a conversation you have very often. Is this the right thing? But the last few weeks have been good to see I’ve still got it because it’s easy to say you believe it but it’s got to happen.”
Evans showed with his wins against Tiafoe and Paul that he remains a dangerous opponent on grass and, if he can get past fellow British wild card Jay Clarke in the first round, he is very likely to get a crack at Novak Djokovic.
Unexpectedly, Evans holds a winning record against Djokovic having come out on top in their only previous match on clay in Monte Carlo four years ago.
“About 9,000 people have messaged me,” said Evans. “It’s a bit like when a boxer’s got a big fight in front of them and he can’t overlook it.
“Jay Clarke will be looking at it and I’ll be looking at it. There’s a nice match in the second round on a very big court. It’s a great incentive.
“I’m really looking forward to first Tuesday but to get a chance to walk out probably on Centre against a guy who’s hardly lost here.
“I’ve done it against (Roger) Federer, I think it would be a good little prize at the end of a good grass-court season.”
