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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Lydia Patrick & John Bett

Dads refuse to 'gaslight' daughter into believing in Father Christmas - 'it causes trauma'

Christmas is an amazing time for parents as they watch their little ones relish in the magic of Father Christmas, his elves and his reindeer. But one couple have decided not to let their daughter, who is now nine, believe in him - claiming it's "gaslighting".

Mathew and Aurelian Bourdreaux, claim "honesty is the best policy" when it comes to parenting. Rather than insisting Father Christmas and the tooth fairy are real, the couple ask Helena if she wants to play 'make-believe' and pretend they're real. But the schoolgirl knows Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy don't exist and her dads are "playing along" to keep her happy.

Mathew, 46, insists the family "don't want to participate in large scale global gaslighting" - making children question their own reality - and says the couple decided they "would never deceive" their little girl.

According to Mathew, lying to your children for years can cause psychological trauma when they eventually find out the truth.

But she knows the presents are from her parents, not Santa (Courtesy Mathew Boudreaux / SWNS)
Mathew and Aurelian decided to tell their daughter Helena the truth about Santa (Courtesy Mathew Boudreaux / SWNS)

Do you think it's right to teach children the truth about Father Christmas? Let us know in the comments...

Mathew, a crafter, from Camas, Washington, USA, said: "Parents don't need to tell any of their kids Santa or the tooth fairy is real - why would I participate in this large-scale global gaslighting?

"Before adopting our child, we researched parenting and thought of the potential psychological impact lying could have.

"We decided we would never deceive her – parents don't need to tell any of their kids this is real.

"It has normalised group lying and deception, it doesn't need to be a part of society."

The dad-of-one said their daughter didn't know whether Father Christmas was real or not when she was little.

Helena knows that Santa is 'make believe' (Courtesy Mathew Boudreaux / SWNS)
Helena still gets to enjoy Christmas (Courtesy Mathew Boudreaux / SWNS)

But when she reached the age of three, their daughter started asking questions about Father Christmas.

They explained he wasn't real and the stories behind the traditions, but they could carry on 'pretending' if she wanted to.

"It wasn't a sit-down conversation, she started to ask questions and have an awareness of him," Mathew said.

"She asked who he was and it's at this point most parents say he's real - we decided not to.

"From my perspective, we're having a blast pretending.

"The magic never ends and pretend never ends - we decorate the house with homemade decorations, make cookies, exchange presents, get up super early and spend quality time together as a family."

The only mythical creatures the nine-year-old cares for are Santa and the tooth fairy - she doesn't ask her dads to make believe about the Easter bunny.

On the surface, their Christmas is the same as anyone else's except their daughter is aware Father Christmas isn't real.

Mathew said: "We train children not to 'imagine' and by playing make-believe we can encourage them to use their imagination and creativity.

"There is a morality in lying and not lying - the second choice is the right choice.

"I'm not taking away any magic - I didn't create this mess."

Parents often ask why Mathew and Aurelian choose to tell Helena the truth about Santa and sometimes get aggressive in the comments on their videos on social media - refusing to listen to their response.

"By not lying, there is no lie to burst - we live in a world where nobody can tell the difference between real and fake," Mathew said.

The dads hope to raise their daughter "to be humble and appreciative" so don't spoil her rotten on Christmas day - instead giving her a handful of presents and celebrating being together as a family.

When it comes to the tooth fairy, Helena is aware Mathew is the one putting a dollar under her pillow, but she still finds it just as exciting.

"Honesty is the most important component of parenting, and the truth is the way you should go," Mathew said.

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