A dad who lost his newborn daughter after just 28 days has spoken of his grief in the hope of bringing comfort to other bereaved parents.
Christophe Bale, from Frome in Somerset, had just one hug with baby AnaBella, who was born premature at just 25 weeks, before she died.
Tiny AnaBella was taken into intensive care after her birth on April 21, 2018, where doctors tried to help her gain enough weight to survive.
But devastatingly, she contracted an infection and after nearly a month's battle at St Michael's Hospital in Bristol, she passed away on May 19.
Nearly two years later, Christopher has told Somerset Live he is still dealing with the trauma from that time.
"It was the most horrific period of our lives," he said.
"She was born very small and I think because she came so early everyone kind of expected there to be something wrong.
"I had one hug with her and it turned out being my last."
Christopher and his wife had already been through several miscarriages, and he says he struggled with the feeling he had not protected his daughter.
"I felt like I couldn't protect my child and that comes with its own whole bunch of issues I'm still dealing with.
"Whatever goes on or went on then, she's still my daughter.
"AnaBella is not the only child we've lost - my wife and I have had several miscarriages and it brings all the same feelings up again.
"We want to be able to live in that bubble where we had a daughter and life was good, but our bubble got burst and with these miscarriages it keeps getting burst."
Still dealing with the emotional ramifications of AnaBella's death, Christopher, who is also father to a son, Hudson, says he does not think he and his wife were given the support they should have been.
While they were directed to a few websites and resources, he felt they were not given enough person-to-person support and that is something that should be addressed.
"There's not much help after the event for those who have gone through what is a traumatic event," he continued.
"As people, one of our biggest fears among wars and illness and all these big things is our children dying. That's what has happened to us here and we didn't get enough help."
In the hope of helping other fathers in similar situations, the grieving dad is now planning to trek the Camino de Santiago, a famous 500-mile pilgrimage across northern Spain.
He will be raising money for two charities - Cots for Tots in Bristol, which provides accommodation for families with children in intensive care, and Cruse Bereavement counselling service - which he says "helped save our family".
At the same time, Christopher plans to document his emotional and physical journey through a video diary and a podcast called 'A Father's Grief'.
He is intending to begin the trek on April 21 and finish on May 19 - mirroring the dates of AnaBella's birth and death.
Christopher is keen to share his experience with other dads, as he now has an appreciation for the particular challenges that bereaved fathers face.
As the traditional head of a household, there is a responsibility placed on fathers to make sure they survive these events and provide a point of strength for their families, he explains - but says this is something that he found very hard to do when he was suffering so much.
"We go through particular challenges as men in these situations and this affects our grief - you're almost made to feel like you're not a man anymore," Christopher continued.
"You want to be able to say as a dad, and I still am a dad to my son Hudson, that everything is going to be alright but all of a sudden I couldn't say that.
"You should always be that superhero but I couldn't do that in that situation - I lost my cape."
He added: "One of the things I keep thinking is that you see some stories where stuff like this leads to people leaving their families or turning to alcohol or whatever - it becomes destructive.
"I want to just say to people that, yes, life sucks but we can get through this and it's important we do to keep our families and ourselves together.
"I've got my other kid and I couldn't afford to go to pieces."
Christopher says he wants to share every stage of his journey and his passage through his grief as a way of encouraging people to talk openly about these situations, and show men in similar positions that they are not alone.
He said: "The point of doing the podcast and everything is to help others who have or may in the future go through something similar by sharing my story and how I process my grief.
"You don't really know what's out there and quite a lot of what is out there is directed at the mothers in these situations. I just want to try and be that point of call for men in that situation.
"Now is the time for me to start sharing my story in the hope I can help someone else. I'll be sharing updates on the walk and sharing what I'm going through and whatever happens as I process all this - it's going to be really honest.
"Doing the walk will be tough, and sharing my grief will be tough, but it's nothing compared to losing a child - I honestly can't imagine anything worse.
"I just think if I can help one person realise they're not alone in something like this, then job's a good'un."
You can read Christopher's own words about his campaign and donate to his GoFundMe page here .
