Deciding to host a child-free wedding is becoming a more popular choice among couples looking to tie the knot, and while no one can stop you from banning youngsters from your ceremony, you should consider how the decision will impact your guests.
For one groom-to-be, his decision to go child-free at his upcoming wedding is going to break the heart of his five-year-old nephew, as he previously promised the youngster could be the ring bearer at the ceremony - which will no longer be happening now that kids aren't invited.
The groom's brother took to Reddit to explain that the promise was made to his son several months before his brother proposed to his fiancée, but said his son "really latched onto" the comment and was "overjoyed" when he heard that his uncle was getting married, as he knew it meant he would be involved in the ceremony.
In his post, the dad said: "My son is five years old. About a year ago, my brother reassured my son that he could be the ring bearer at his wedding. My son really latched onto this comment.
"Now, all these months later, my brother has proposed and is planning a wedding with his fiancée. When I told my son that his uncle was getting married, he was obviously overjoyed and immediately launched into bragging to his younger brother (who wasn't born when the initial conversation took place and was just giving him typical baby babbles in return) that he got to be the 'ring bear'."
But when the dad called his brother to tell him how excited his son was, his brother told him he and his fiancée have decided to go child-free - so his son will not get the role he was promised.
And to make matters worse, the child-free rule is putting pressure on the dad and his husband, as it means they now have to find childcare for their children or drop out of the wedding.
The dad added: "I heard the proposal news from my mum and when I called to congratulate my brother, I also told him the story of how excited our oldest is. My brother went on to tell me that his fiancée is pretty adamant about a child-free wedding, so the promise he made might not be doable anymore.
"This was obviously hard for me to hear. Not only would this break my son's heart, this would also make mine and my husband's lives considerably harder. We're currently living abroad and didn't think we would have to find childcare for the time of the wedding. Our only options now would be:
Fly with our children and leave them in the care of people we don't fully trust since all trusted family members will be attending the ceremony
Leave both children with a trusted friend near our home and fly to the wedding (not ideal since, thanks to flexible work schedules, we were planning to spend a month with our families following the wedding.)
Not attend.
"My brother said he would try to get his fiancée to reconsider, but we spoke two nights ago and he said she's putting her foot down. Admittedly, I was hurt over this on my son's behalf. I told him we would still try to make it, but it was unlikely that we could. I also told him that if he even wanted us to consider coming, he would have to tell his nephew himself that he was going back on his promise and why.
"My brother said it felt like I was issuing him an ultimatum and making him choose between family and his wife on what's supposed to be the happiest day of his life and that I was being unfair. I said he shouldn't have made promises he couldn't keep."
Commenters were firmly on the dad's side, with many agreeing that it should be up to the man's brother to break the news to his nephew, as he's the one who made the promise.
One person said: "I think you summed it up beautifully. Your brother made a promise that got your child all hyped up, and now he wants someone else to deal with the emotional fallout when he [backs out], because it would be inconvenient for him to deal with it himself."
But another saw both sides of the argument and wrote: "You are not wrong for wanting him to explain it, and he is not wrong for the change in plans. This is actually a great opportunity for your son to start learning that sometimes plans change and things don't work out. And that it's perfectly fine to be disappointed, but that unfortunately, these things happen sometimes."
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