Ok, here is Ed Aarons’ match report from a foggy Selhurst. I’ll leave you with that and thank you for your company, which was the best thing about that 93 minutes or so. Take care!
Man United visit Man City on Sunday – winning tonight wouldn’t have made the title race interesting but it would have set them up nicely for the derby.
Recent weeks showing just why showing every Premier League game live might not be best. Or maybe just not the United games
— Rob Harris (@RobHarris) March 3, 2021
I don’t disagree.
Gary Cahill speaks: “Very pleasing. We know what their away form’s like. I thought we played really well, dug in when we had to, created half chances ourselves and I thought it was a really good performance. It was important we kept the line up, didn’t drop too deep. We knew we had to keep those lines close together and I think we frustrated them tonight. When you’re organised and in good shape you can spring from that and it makes it a lot easier. We did feel comfortable but still respectful that they have players who can change a game in a split second.”
“Well, I guess it’s far from a zebra,” sighs Peter Oh. “And it would be harsh to call it an aardvark [tip of the hat to Justin Kavanagh]. Harsh on aardvarks, that is. How about we call this one just a plain old alley cat? Street dog?”
One of those, but a dead one.
If they’d have just made the mist a touch thicker we wouldn’t have had to see much of that. Decent point for Palace, a “meh” one for United, and barely a thing to raise the interest after the 20th minute or so. The kind of through-the-motions game this winter has served us quite a few of, for largely understandable reasons.
Updated
Full-time: Crystal Palace 0-0 Manchester United
It’s ... been a journey.
90+2 min: McTominay overhits a cross behind goal, and then the generally excellent Kouyate’s annoyed about something or other, but that’ll be about that.
90+1 min: Only two added minutes here, which says plenty.
90 min: Van Aanholt appears to have the best chance of the game but is thwarted when clean through by Henderson ... although the flag actually goes up for offside.
Updated
89 min: Shaw blazes wide on his right foot. He and Maguire have been United’s best players by some way.
88 min: Phil Haran says it well – “Both these teams could go for a shower separately and return to find the score still 0-0. Only a giant whoopsie will change that. Neither have the wherewithal to break the other down.”
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86 min: Shaw is still trying to drive United on and earns them another corner. Bailly nods it into a threatening area but a Palace head does the required job.
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84 min: Palace can slow proceedings up, if that’s humanly possible, by introducing Schlupp for Eze.
82 min: Cracking effort from Greenwood, perhaps United’s most inventive. He checks in from the right and pulls out a thunderbolt from 20 yards, but it’s a foot or two over. They are just *starting* to look more menacing, but time is running out.
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81 min: Simon McMahon explains – “I think the Dazzle camouflage on Allied shipping during WWII was designed not to make them invisible, but rather to disorientate German U-boat commanders regarding how fast and in which direction the ship was actually travelling. You can insert your own punchline about any similarities between that and this game here ...”
79 min: VAR looks quickly at an Eze barge on Bailly, but it’s something of nothing. Then a chance for James immediately! Shaw crosses and, I tell you what, Cavani would have buried that header. But the winger doesn’t get much on it and it skids wide off a defender. Palace deal with the corner. At last some purpose from United though.
77 min: James comes on for Cavani. Maybe he’ll add some thrust!
75 min: McTominay immediately appears in the box before being crowded out. We never saw Fred do that. Not enough ambition in this game from anyone so far, it’s become a bit of a stinker.
74 min: Still not a lot happening. McTominay is coming on for Fred, so let’s see if that perks things up at all.
72 min: Colum Fordham writes –
“Further to the equine discussion, the symbol of Napoli, who have just drawn a 3-3 thriller with Sassuolo in Serie A, is the donkey or ‘cuccio’ The name came about in the 1920s as a result of man who sold figs outside San Paolo stadium with a lame donkey. A Neapolitan sports journalist once compared the team’s lacklustre performance in a match to the donkey of the street-seller and the animal became the club’s ironic symbol. So Napoli fans now say ‘Forza Ciuccio’ as an alternative to Forza Napoli, ‘Come on Napoli’.”
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69 min: Matic has an optimistic effort charged down and then Rashford is pulled up for offside. It’s grim out there at the moment.
67 min: Still very little indeed going forward from United in this half. Palace won at Old Trafford on the opening day ... is the double on?
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64 min: Ohhhhh, Ayew stays onside down the right and pulls back for Benteke, who completely miskicks against his standing leg!
62 min: A Palace change – Riedewald on for the man who replaced him, McCarthy. It’s injury-enforced and McCarthy goes off looking pretty dejected.
61 min: “As a United fan in India, I can’t wait for us to draw to go to sleep. It’s almost 3am here and I have work tomorrow!” writes Jestine Joseph.
Hats off to you Jestine. I’m struggling to stay awake watching this and it’s only 9.30pm here.
59 min: Milivojevic pings it off the top of the wall ... and then Townsend volleys only a couple of feet wide, with Henderson helpless, as the ball drops back down.
Updated
58 min: Eze is fouled by Fred and Palace have a free-kick near the edge of the ‘D’ ...
I like this:
@NickAmes82 An unexpected result is a zebra because it's rare, unusual (at least in South America). By the way, back in the day, there used to be a Sports Lottery game, and on Sunday night an awful animated zebra would tell us the results (see the link:) https://t.co/f7CsUlxMbm
— Leo Addor (@LeoAddor) March 3, 2021
56 min: It’s hard to see where a goal comes from here at the moment, I have to say. It’s also getting mistier out there; it’s a damp old in south London.
54 min: Still too slow from United. Do they look a bit leggy? I think they might.
@NickAmes82 ref the Man Utd kit - the ship from whence they got their inspiration is a camouflage or Dazzle ship. It renders the wearer invisible. Sir Alex would make them change at half time https://t.co/u5VbJdcWmL
— Richard Morris (@richardmorrisuk) March 3, 2021
51 min: Ayew flashes an angled shot straight at Henderson after good work from Benteke. Nice spell from Palace.
50 min: Benteke takes a ball down well in the box, can’t make space for a shot or locate a teammate, but wins a corner. It’s worked short and Van Aanholt wins another. This time it’s straight into the box from Eze, but snicked away by a United head. The ball comes back in again and Benteke’s latest acrobatic volley attempt is deflected behind. A third flag kick, then, but Maguire clears.
47 min: Kouyate clears an early United corner, then Guaita catches a cross from the byline by – yes – Maguire.
@NickAmes82 please don't mention 5-0 Palace wins. I was there in 1970 when such was the score. Frank O'Farrell's last match in charge - fairly deservedly at that point.
— Francis Mead (@francismead) March 3, 2021
I’m fairly sure that topic won’t be coming up again tonight.
46 min: Milivojevic is fine.
Peeeeep! We go again!
Milivojevic gets a ball in the face within moments of the restart ...
Zebra chat from Chuck Burgess: “I wonder if the Brazilian usage of ‘zebra’ is related to the medical cliche ‘When you hear hoof beats, think horses not zebras’. In other words, the most common diagnosis is also the most likely. If you happen upon a zebra in medicine, it’s quite an unlikely event.”
More Zebra chat from Adam Hirst: “The Botswana national team are known as The Zebras, possibly because of the stripes on the light blue flag. There have been some interesting attempts to incorporate the stripes into the colours of the kit. Quite like that third kit.”
Aardvark chat from Justin Kavanagh: “Going on Peter Oh’s Brazilian scale with its shocker Zebra extremity, this game has been a bit of an Aardvark of a stalemate so far.”
And goalie chat from Neil Carter: “Ole needs to shake things up after the break, looking forward to seeing Lee Grant get some minutes.”
A report from Blades 1-0 Villa:
And a report from Burnley 1-1 Leicester:
Explained!
Where Manchester United found its away strip: pic.twitter.com/8fbtlNc6Wj
— Bill Bennett (@billbennettnz) March 3, 2021
Half-time: Crystal Palace 0-0 Manchester United
Not the best. United had that spell from around 12 to 25, Guaita saving from Matic and Rashford missing a chance. Otherwise, let’s hope this opens up a touch.
44 min: It’s one of those games where United just can’t get the tempo up in their passing, and Fernandes just hasn’t been involved much at all. Wan-Bissaka has woken up though and gets in another good position, raking in a fine cross that Ward clears from right in front of the poised Cavani.
42 min: Wan-Bissaka wins a corner against his old club with a welcome piece of initiative down the right. Milivojevic heads away spectacularly and eventually Palace clear the ball towards halfway.
40 min: Shaw wins the ball back well and puts in his first cross for a while, but Kouyate is positioned to head away.
39 min: This is definitely in the “lull” category. United had looked like producing some sustained quality for a spell earlier but the level has dropped right off. Palace remain disciplined.
36 min: Townsend is bundled over by Fred as he looks to slice through the middle. Palace look fairly comfortable just now.
34 min: United, having seemed to get a hold on this, have been knocked back off their stride by Palace in the last six or seven minutes.
33 min: Julian Menz writes with more stripy factoids –
“In Germany, the ’Zebras’ is the colloqial name for MSV Duisburg (they play in blue and white hoops, not sure what QPR/Reading fans might make of that).
“Yet more German football/equine trivia no-one needs, Mönchengladbach are known as ‘the Foals’, and, while we’re on the subject of hoofs, cloven or not, 1FC Köln are known as the ’Billy Goats’, and even have a (replaceable) goat as a mascot, named after a former manager.”
31 min: Eze, quiet so far, goes on one of those weaving runs he’s so capable of but can’t achieve a give-and-go with Ayew.
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29 min: Now a promising Palace free-kick on the left, though. It’s not far outside the box and I think Bailly made the foul. It’s one of those opportunities they need to make the most of. They don’t, though, as Eze fires it in but the ubiquitous Maguire powers it away.
27 min: Cavani heads the ball towards Croydon from a difficult, drilled Rashford cross.
26 min: Milivojevic hits a hopeless pass out of play on the wing. Palace might not be minded to push far up the pitch but they still are getting too deep for me, Clive.
Palace very organised in defence but it helps when you have a goalkeeper as good as Vicente Guaita
— Ed Aarons (@ed_aarons) March 3, 2021
Ed has a good point.
24 min: Greenwood isn’t too far wide with a deflected shot, so United have a corner. Shaw outswings it but Benteke heads away – and also clears the second ball in. Sterling defensive work from the centre-forward.
Updated
22 min: United are controlling this a bit now. Palace’s forays are becoming ever more isolated.
19 min: Shaw, showing no sign of that earlier knock, is increasingly involved on the left and arrows another nice ball across, airkicked ungracefully by Fernandes.
18 min: ‘Tis a nice enough start to this game. Palace are getting space when they win the ball back, and countering quickly. United have had two decent sights and Rashford should maybe have done better with his. Fred takes aim now and it takes a deflection or two, Guaita gathering.
16 min: Oooh, chance for Rashford. He controls an intelligent Shaw ball from the left cutely and then, from 15 yards, shoots a foot wide of the near post. He’s scored those before.
14 min: But Matic errs badly now in his own half and Townsend is away ... but perhaps delays the shot too long and in the end his effort is blocked.
13 min: Fine save from Guaita! Shortly after a Rashford ball fizzes across goal, Matic – who has previous for scoring brilliant winners here – cracks one from 25 yards that snicks off McCarthy and is pawed wide! Cavani stabs over from inside the six-yard box following the corner. First big moments for United.
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12 min: A marvellous Peter Oh nugget – “In Brazilian football slang, ‘zebra’ is a term for a hugely unexpected result. For example, a five-nil Palace win with Benteke scoring a hat trick, Bruno Fernandes missing two penalties, Solskjaer getting sent off and Hodgson dancing in the technical area would probably be classified as a zebra.”
10 min: The busy Maguire stabs away an Ayew centre with Benteke lurking. Palace win a corner moments later. Henderson claims it with no bother.
8 min: Has to be said, Palace have threatened the most so far. They are still pressing and Milivojevic has just had a shot blocked.
7 min: Right-sided free-kick for Palace, and Townsend inswings it wickedly. It evades Cahill and those have drifted past unsighted keepers before, but Henderson is watching it all the way. Immediately afterwards, United give the ball away and Benteke – the volleyer supreme at Brighton – tries something similar from 12 yards. This time the result is wildly different.
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5 min: It’s not a high-paced start, this. Mainly slow passing from United and the occasional thwarted attempt from Palace to zip upfield. Maguire does well again, this time as Ayew looked to nip around him in the area. Then Shaw is painfully clattered by Ward as they contested a loose Rashford pass. Shaw hobbles up, eventually.
3 min: Ayew breaks for Palace and tries to play Benteke in, but Maguire is in very firmly. Before that, United were probing away.
Peeeeep! We go!
United kick us off on a slightly misty night, and go right to left.
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The teams are out at Selhurst Park! United have come as zebras, Palace have come in their classic getup.
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Another result from today – Sheffield United have beaten Aston Villa 1-0, which is excellent for them in isolation but won’t help them stay up.
David De Gea is absent for personal reasons tonight, while Anthony Martial has a knock. Dean Henderson starts in goal. Bailly, Matic and Cavani are also in for Lindelof, McTominay and James.
One change for Palace – McCarthy in for Riedewald.
It has finished Burnley 1-1 Leicester – so United can go three points clear in second tonight.
We have more football, too, while-u-wait. Or while-u-watch! Multitasking is good for you. Paul Doyle has Chelsea Women v Atletico Madrid Women:
Burnley v Leicester is in its latter stages, which is of consequence to this fixture because it’s currently 1-1 and if Leicester won they’d go above United into second for now. Bite your nails with Barry Glendenning!
Teams
Crystal Palace: Guaita, Ward, Kouyate, Cahill, Van Aanholt, Milivojevic, McCarthy, Ayew, Eze, Townsend, Benteke. Subs: Butland, Dann, Mateta, Schlupp, Wickham, Batshuayi, Kelly, Hannam, Riedewald.
Manchester United: Henderson, Wan-Bissaka, Bailly, Maguire, Shaw, Matic, Fred, Fernandes, Greenwood, Rashford, Cavani. Subs: De Gea, Tuanzebe, Lindelof, Williams, Telles, McTominay, Shoretire, Amad, James.
Hello
All hail the away day kings. Manchester United are yet to come a cropper on the road in this season’s Premier League and here’s a mighty fine chance to make it 14 undefeated trips on the spin. And wouldn’t they love to take it. A goalless draw at Chelsea in their most recent trip to London, a mere three days ago, left them pretty comfortable in the top three for now but something better this time would keep pushing that prospect home. The title is way off now – a victory in this history-laden fixture would narrow the gap to City by a mere 12 points – but this is a season in which finishing runners-up would surely be a considerable success.
Palace are capable of anything though. They are! I was at Brighton last Monday to see them pull off one of the most astonishing smash and grabs I’ve ever seen in the flesh. So while they’re hardly sparkling, and the mumbles of discontent are growing louder, I’m the last person to be ruling them out today. This one could be a scrap – so buckle in!
Send in your emails, tweets and whatever else – and let’s enjoy this 8.15pm (UK) kick-off.
