So Chelsea have successfully unveiled their new arctic-blue jersey with micro-herringbone chest pattern. They hung on to win a ding-dong five-goal battle, Kepa and Zouma both making dramatic interventions during injury time to deny Palace. On balance, a draw would have been the fairest result, but here we are, Chelsea moving a step closer to Champions League qualification. David Hytner was our man at Selhurst Park; his report has landed, so you know what to do. Thanks for reading this MBM!
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That was superb entertainment. Chelsea are far from the finished article, but their games are so good to watch. They’re excellent going forward, pretty ropy at the back, and the midfield is a mixed bag. But it’s stage one of their journey under Frank Lampard, and the way they carry on isn’t a million miles away from some of those daft to-and-fro goalfests involving Liverpool during the early phase of Jurgen Klopp’s stewardship. So, nothing’s guaranteed, but, well, y’know. Palace meanwhile responded fantastically to going two down in unfortunate circumstances, and will wonder how they’ve not earned themselves at least a point tonight. A huge improvement on their recent form.
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FULL TIME: Crystal Palace 2-3 Chelsea
There’s just enough time for a last-ditch Zouma slide on Benteke, who was bearing down on goal ... and that’s it! Chelsea were hanging on at the end there. But they’ve squeaked it! Palace gave them a hell of a game, but it wasn’t quite enough. Chelsea move up to third, two points clear of Leicester City on 60 points. Leicester can reclaim third if they win at Arsenal later tonight. Palace stay in 14th.
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90 min +5: Palace hit the woodwork! Zaha flings the ball into the mixer from the left. Dann, of all people, races in from the right and heads across Kepa. The ball twangs off the bottom of the left-hand post and back across the face of goal - having been helped onto it by a fine Kepa fingertip - before being hacked clear!
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90 min +4: McCarthy finds Zaha down the left with a glorious diagonal rake. Zaha and Van Aanholt nearly open Chelsea up with a brisk exchange of passes, but not quite.
90 min +2: Palace win a corner on the right. Kouyate falls over his own feet, but with Loftus-Cheek directly behind him, claims for a penalty. No dice. Chelsea go up the other end, Willian slamming a shot into the chest of Guaita. This match has been relentless from the get-go.
90 min: Meyer comes on for Milivojevic. Then Pulisic - Chelsea’s star turn today, with the arguable exception of the supersub Jorginho - dances down the left before standing one up for Willian, whose first-time volley is blocked by Van Aanholt. That would have been a cracker.
89 min: Willian skitters down the inside left and enters the box, but can’t quite decide whether to shoot or cross. He manages neither, but the ball squirts across to Abraham, in an inexplicable amount of space, 12 yards out. Abraham screws a poor shot well wide left. He should have made the keeper work at the very least.
87 min: Since Jorginho came on, seven minutes ago, Chelsea have enjoyed 80 percent of possession. And to think Frank Lampard is reportedly thinking of getting rid.
86 min: Willian slithers in from the right, a wonderful run that draws a few Palace players. He offloads to Mount, who tries to thread a shot into the bottom left. Guaita does extremely well to tip round for a corner, from which nothing comes.
85 min: Jorginho must have touched the ball about a thousand times since coming on. He’s pinging it around hither and yon. He releases Willian and Mount into space down the right, but the pair don’t get their one-two quite right and Van Aanholt is able to intercept and tidy up.
83 min: Pulisic embarks on a power-skitter down the inside-left channel. It’s a twinkle-toed delight, but he can only beat so many men and is eventually crowded out on the edge of the box. He’s a proper player.
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82 min: Jorginho is immediately involved, drawing some pretty triangles with Mount and Willian, then snapping into a 50-50 challenge with Benteke. Chelsea look a little calmer already.
80 min: Chelsea further bolster their midfield by swapping the inexperienced Gimour for Jorginho, making his first post-lockdown appearance. Palace respond with a double change, replacing McArthur and Ayew with McCarthy and Townsend.
78 min: Willian backs himself in a footrace down the right with McArthur and Milivojevic ... and nearly wins it. The Palace men did very well to keep up there. Chelsea are forced to turn tail.
77 min: McArthur floats a pass forward to Benteke, who backs into Zouma, then falls over and claims a penalty. The referee is quite correctly not interested in the slightest.
75 min: James crosses from the right. It’s dangerous enough to earn a corner. Willian takes long. Sakho, at the far post with his back to goal, does very well to adjust and clear. Palace break upfield, Ayew working his way down the left. But he over-elaborates and runs the ball out for a goal kick. We may only have 15 minutes plus stoppages to play, but good luck guessing the final score of this.
74 min: This match is great. That’s Benteke’s first goal here since April 2018, 24 long games ago.
GOAL! Crystal Palace 2-3 Chelsea (Benteke 72)
Palace come straight back at Chelsea and close the gap! Kouyate and McArthur combine down the left and slip the ball inside for Van Aanholt, who glides into the box, drops a shoulder to get past Azpilicueta, reaches the byline and rolls across for Benteke, who can’t miss!
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GOAL! Crystal Palace 1-3 Chelsea (Abraham 71)
Chelsea launch a counter, and it’s so simple. Loftus-Cheek races down the middle. As he reaches the box, he intelligently waits and waits, hovers and hovers, drawing Dann and Sakho before chipping cutely between them for Abraham, who threads a shot across Guaita and into the bottom left. Lovely goal!
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70 min: The game restarts. Palace are immediately romping forward. Zaha dithers awhile out on the right, and it looks like all momentum is lost, but suddenly he whips a cross into the centre. Benteke tries to connect with a spectacular volley ... but doesn’t.
68 min: And that, gentlemen, is drinks.
66 min: Loftus-Cheek is quickly in the thick of it. He should be sent racing down the inside-left channel by Mount, but the pass is a little bit behind him and he can’t gather it smoothly. The danger - Palace were light at the back - is gone.
65 min: Chelsea make a double change, in the hope of regaining control of midfield. Barkley is replaced by former Palace loanee Loftus-Cheek, while Giroud makes way for the more mobile Abraham.
64 min: Nothing comes of the second corner.
63 min: Ayew bustles down the left and wins a corner off James. Milivojevic hits it long. Neither James nor Giroud manage to hack clear. Ayew tries to swivel on the penalty spot and smack goalward, but his effort is blocked out for another corner.
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61 min: Milivojevic is good to continue, though he’ll have a shiner of a left eye later this evening by the look of it.
60 min: An extended break in play as Milivojevic is given the once-over by the quack, having run slap-bang into his team-mate Ayew’s knee while falling over.
58 min: Another cross from the right by James, who looks a threat every time he moves up the flank. This one’s not quite as good, headed clear easily enough by Sakho. But what a prospect James is. A fine attacking full-back in the up-to-date style.
56 min: Palace are beginning to dominate now. Even factoring in their slow start to the half, they’ve had 64 percent of possession since the restart.
54 min: This game is back to its first-half, end-to-end best. James crosses from the right, a magnificent delivery that lands on Giroud’s head, six yards out. He must score, surely, but blasts his header over the crossbar. He pulls his arctic-blue jersey with disrupted herringbone knit over his face in monochromatic despair.
52 min: Ward and Kouyate work their way down the right but can’t find Benteke in the middle. Chelsea race up the other end, Barkley flinging a raking diagonal towards Giroud, just inside the box on the left. Giroud attempts a cushioned header to tee up Pulisic, but the flag goes up for offside.
51 min: Van Aanholt takes a speculative dig from 25 yards. The ball smacks Willian straight in his startled face. Ooyah, oof, ow. That will have been a sore one. He’s given some time to recover.
49 min: A little better from Palace as Ward and Benteke combine on the edge of the box to release Ayew into a little space on the right. But the resulting cross is no good and easily mopped up by the visitors.
48 min: Chelsea shift the ball from left to right at speed. James is found in space down the channel, and fires a low centre towards Pulisic at the near post. Sakho, sliding hysterically across the turf, does enough to get in the way and Palace clear. The hosts haven’t really got started again yet.
46 min: Chelsea are quickly on the attack, James opening his legs down the right and swinging in a cross that’s easy for Guaita.
Palace get the second half underway. Neither manager has made any half-time changes.
Half-time reading ...
... and some real good listenin’. Enjoy, enjoy!
HALF TIME: Crystal Palace 1-2 Chelsea
Pulisic continues to torment Ward, this time winning a free kick near the left-hand corner flag as he tears past him. Mount’s deep delivery is headed clear by Dann, and that’s the end of a riotously entertaining first half. It fair flew by. More please!
45 min +2: Chelsea are extremely ragged now, and could do with hearing the half-time whistle. Kouyate is bowled over by Gimour, 35 yards out. Milivojevic curls the free kick onto Benteke’s head; the big striker flashes a decent header goalwards, but straight at Kepa, who gathers with safe hands.
45 min: There will be four added minutes.
44 min: Ward curls viciously from a tight spot on the right. His cross pings off the top of the crossbar, Kepa flapping under it in panicked confusion. Turns out the ball had curled out of play before hitting the frame of the goal, but Chelsea have to be worried about the form of their keeper. He doesn’t exude solidity.
43 min: On the touchline, Roy Hodgson strokes his chin in the pensive fashion, mentally composing his half-time team-talk. It’ll be a damn sight easier after that Zaha belter.
41 min: Suddenly Chelsea aren’t quite as potent when they get the ball. Palace have done extremely well to fight their way back into contention.
39 min: McArthur makes it to the byline on the left and hooks a dangerous low ball into the mixer. Azpilicueta is forced to hack behind for a corner, and he looks concerned, Chelsea’s defensive travails at West Ham presumably flooding back into an addled noggin. From the corner, Dann loops a header harmlessly wide. This game is great fun.
38 min: What a way for Palace to score their fourth first-half goal at Selhurst this season, though, huh? Now for the next target: matching their season’s best 90-minute total of two. Anything’s possible.
36 min: Milivojevic is booked for scything down Pulisic in full flight. He can have no complaints.
GOAL! Crystal Palace 1-2 Chelsea (Zaha 34)
Zaha scores one of the goals of the season! The ball breaks infield from the left. Zaha, in a pocket of space, takes a touch forward and lashes a rising shot into the top-left corner from the best part of 30 yards! Kepa might have done better, maybe - it wasn’t tight in the corner - but that was hit with such verve and panache, swerving right and upwards, that you’d be seriously nit-picking to blame the keeper. What a shot!
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33 min: Mount is upended near the right-hand corner flag. He takes the set piece himself. Guaita comes out and flaps, but fortunately for Palace, Barkley can’t get near the ball to poke it home.
32 min: Pulisic is sensational. He sashays at super-speed down the inside right before slipping Willian into space on the left. Willian powers a shot towards the bottom left, and it’s turned around the post by a full-stretch Guaita. That’s a great save. The corner leads to nowt.
30 min: Willian hits the corner long. Too long. Out it floats, over everyone’s head, for a goal kick.
29 min: Chelsea are full of beans. Pulisic comes straight back at Palace, again tormenting Ward down the left. He nearly gets by but slips when he enters the box and a corner will have to do.
GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-2 Chelsea (Pulisic 27)
Willian and Giroud combine on the edge of the Palace box. The ball’s rolled wide left for Pulisic, who looks to have made life harder for himself by dropping a shoulder to make room to the left of Ward. But he then smashes an unstoppable rising shot into the top left. Guaita is beaten at his near post, but he really had no chance, that was such a vicious strike. Brilliant from the young winger.
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27 min: The game restarts after the increasingly preposterous drinks break / tactical time-out. And it’s not long before ...
26 min: A worrying statistic for Palace: they’ve only scored three first-half goals at home this season. That’s an appalling record. Newcastle and Watford have the next-worst return with five.
24 min: Zaha and McArthur combine cutely down the left, a couple of sassy flicks sending the latter romping towards the box with intent. But his eventual shot is blocked easily enough. And that’s drinks!
22 min: So having said that, the game suddenly turns scrappy. Maybe everyone needs a drink.
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20 min: Pulisic wins a corner for Chelsea, from which Kouyate breaks upfield. Chelsea snatch back possession and Gilmour tries to counter the counter. Not quite, but it’s a really entertaining end-to-end match, this.
18 min: Apparently the Premier League’s official Nit-Picking Committee had a look at Giroud’s goal, with a view to awarding it to Pulisic instead. The suggestion being that the young American hung out a leg and brushed the ball as Giroud slammed it goalwards. But having made a big song and dance of doing so, they’ve since announced that the goal stands as Giroud’s. Why is everything so needlessly complicated these days? But then again I’m getting on, the world’s long passed me by.
16 min: Some decent work by Zaha down the left earns another corner for Palace. This one’s swung above Kepa, the six-yard box crowded. The keeper deals with it. Palace have obviously been studying the West Ham tapes. They won’t have had to squint too hard to spot Chelsea’s problem.
14 min: ... nothing much occurs.
13 min: Barkley drags the resulting free kick wide left, but there’s a deflection off a Palace body and it’s a corner. From which ...
12 min: Palace win a corner out on the right. Van Aanholt launches it long, but Chelsea break upfield. Gilmour and Mount combine well to get Chelsea on the move, the latter with an exquisite turn into space. Barkley takes up possession and is unceremoniously upended by Milivojevic, who is furious about ... what, exactly? It was a clear foul. Presumably still seething about the goal.
10 min: Palace are understandably discombobulated after that slightly surreal but extremely unfortunate goal. Chelsea stream forward and win a corner, from which Zouma flashes a header inches wide left. The home side need to clear their heads and quick.
8 min: Cahill limps off, to be replaced by Sakho. Roy Hodgson isn’t making a song and dance about the events that led up to the goal, it should be noted.
GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-1 Chelsea (Giroud 6)
A disaster for Cahill, who pulls up with a hamstring injury as Willian chases after James’ pass down the right. Willian keeps going, reaches the byline, and pulls back for Giroud, who sweeps powerfully into the net from six yards. He couldn’t miss. Palace aren’t happy, though, arguing that Willian should have stopped when Cahill fell dramatically. He had Willian covered, but his leg went ping. Terrible luck for Palace, but Chelsea were within their rights to continue.
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4 min: A nice open feel to this, with Palace on the front foot early on. Kouyate bursts down the inside-right channel and tries to find Zaha on the opposite wing. It’s a decent run and the smart option, with Zaha in acres, but the pass isn’t up to scratch.
2 min: An early scare for Chelsea, as Kepa hacks a dismal clearance straight to McArthur. Fortunately for the Chelsea goalkeeper, McArthur is no Che Adams, and his long-range lob floats harmlessly wide.
Chelsea get the ball rolling ... after all 22 players take a knee. Black lives matter.
The teams are out! Crystal Palace wear their blue and red stripes, while Chelsea pull on their fancy new sky-blue away shirt for the first time. Designed to look good with jeans, like it’s 1996 all over again. It’ll give Frank’s lads some added “millennial swagger”, it says here. “Arctic blue provides a tasteful base colour for the jersey, with darker shades making up a disrupted herringbone knit ... a monochromatic club crest filled with a micro-herringbone pattern sits on the chest ... a dark blue V-neck collar and trim on the sleeves frame the design, while dark blue tape featuring the phrase The Pride of London runs down the sides of the torso.” Hey, marketing types gotta grift. Anyway, we’ll be off in a minute or two.
Frank Lampard is asked how he expects mid-table Palace to perform. “A team fighting at the bottom of the table will have their own reasons. A team in Palace’s position will want points to keep going up the table, because they’re professionals, but maybe they can be somehow more relaxed. What I do know is, they’ve a great manager. I worked under Roy. And they’ve got great quality players so it’ll be a hard game on its own merits.”
Roy Hodgson is asked what target he’s set his players in these final five games. “Get through them, quite frankly. It was never going to be easy, it was a difficult programme for us. We’ve always known three games a week is not something our squad is set up to do, because we have a lot of experienced players and a lot of players who are a little bit older. So it’s going to be an uphill struggle but we’ll do the best we can.”
Selhurst Park is usually one of the most atmospheric grounds in the country. This damn virus. A nice touch here, then, as the Palace squad make sure the 25,000-odd folk who normally create a rare old racket in this corner of south London know they’re very much missed.
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Palace make two changes from the XI named at Leicester. Scott Dann and Cheikhou Kouyate replace Mamadou Sakho and Jairo Riedewald, who both drop to the bench.
Just the one change for Chelsea. N’Golo Kante tweaked his hamstring against Watford, so his place goes to Scotland’s highly promising Billy Gilmour.
The teams
Crystal Palace: Guaita, Ward, Dann, Cahill, van Aanholt, McArthur, Milivojevic, Kouyate, Ayew, Benteke, Zaha.
Subs: Meyer, Townsend, Sakho, Hennessey, McCarthy, Woods, Mitchell, Pierrick, Riedewald.
Chelsea: Arrizabalaga, James, Zouma, Christensen, Azpilicueta, Gilmour, Barkley, Mount, Willian, Giroud, Pulisic.
Subs: Rudiger, Alonso, Jorginho, Abraham, Pedro, Loftus-Cheek, Caballero, Hudson-Odoi, Batshuayi.
Referee: David Coote (Nottinghamshire).
Preamble
Aside from the (admittedly not totally insignificant) fact that this is a London derby, Crystal Palace have very little to play for tonight. They’re not going down, they’re not getting into Europe, they’re just biding their time until next season. All they really have to worry about is not tanking to the extent that bitter rivals Brighton don’t leapfrog them by the end of the campaign. In short, there’s little or no jeopardy for Roy Hodgson’s team this evening.
That’s probably just as well, because they’ve lost their last three matches on the bounce. A spirit-sapping 4-0 defeat at Liverpool, where they became the first team since Opta invented football in 2006 to fail to get a single touch in the opposition box, has been followed by a home defeat to Burnley and a clinical three-goal spanking at Leicester. Champions League hopefuls Chelsea may be rubbing their hands in gleeful anticipation of a precious three points, not least because they’ve won their last four matches against Palace.
But nothing’s ever certain in football. Either side of the enforced break, Palace won four matches in a row without conceding a single goal. And Chelsea, while increasingly entertaining and easy on the eye, aren’t infallible, recently going down 3-2 at struggling West Ham thanks to some pitiful set-piece defending. The sort of defending a well-drilled Roy Hodgson side could take advantage of, if they’re in the mood.
So Chelsea - in good form with the exception of that West Ham fiasco - are strong favourites. But Palace always have a puncher’s chance against the big boys - they’ve frustrated Arsenal and both Manchester clubs this season - and Selhurst Park is never the easiest place to go. And with nothing realistically to play for, they can take a free swing tonight. This, therefore, is poised rather deliciously. It, good old MBM pals o’mine, is on!
Kick off: 6pm BST.
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