Read David Hytner’s match report:
Full-time: Crystal Palace 0-3 Chelsea
Chelsea, it’s been a while. They rise to the heady heights of 14th with this emphatic win, while Palace stay seventh, missing the chance to go fifth. Palace had too many injuries, but Chelsea were very good once they had the lead. All these players needed was for a nice man to tell them that they’re good at football. Thanks for reading. Bye.
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90 min: We’ll have three minutes of stoppage time.
88 min: Nemanja Matic replaces Oscar.
87 min: Palace are chasing shadows now. Willian gets in behind on the right and lifts a cross to the far post for Costa, who’s ready and waiting with a volley. However he can’t get over the ball, skying his effort.
86 min: “As usual, I’m at home following the MBM (big Gary Naylor fan, by the way), but I just wanted to email in with a slight correction - my radio is, in fact, angrily embedded in my flat-screen,” notes Mac Millings.
85 min: Pedro spins away down the left and knocks a pass inside to Oscar, who fools two Palace defenders with a beautiful turn. They slide off towards Norwood Junction, but Oscar’s low effort is blocked and Palace hack the ball clear.
83 min: “This is the first Chelsea game i’ve enjoyed in a long time!” says Dante Danger. “Weirdly, I think in making Chelsea less defensive, it’s put less pressure on players not to make mistakes and given the attack more freedom to hurt the opposition. Sure, Terry and Ivanovic still look far from as good as they were last year, but the team looks much more comfortable now that it does not invite constant pressure and look to play exclusively on the counter... I still think the club was wrong to sack Jose, but this is a far better performance against a very good side.”
80 min: Dann is cynically booked for chopping down Costa on the left, having been embarrassed by a glorious piece of control from the Chelsea striker. Jonny Williams comes on for Lee.
78 min: Zaha speeds past Azpilicueta on the right, reaching the byline, and his cutback is blocked behind by Terry. The Palace fans behind the goal appeal for a penalty for handball, but it hit Terry’s chest.
76 min: Costa and Oscar have scored five goals in four games between them since Mourinho’s sacking.
74 min: Zaha balloons another cross out of play. Dearie me.
71 min: Jose Mourinho is now writing an angry letter to his local paper.
67 min: Palace bring on Marouane Chamakh for Fraizer Campell and Joe Ledley for Mile Jedinak.
GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-3 Chelsea (Costa, 66 min)
Jose Mourinho has just chucked his radio out the window. Crash! Willian scoots clear on the right, swerving brilliantly past his man, and he slithers a cross-shot into the six-yard box. It’s heading towards the far corner, not particularly quickly, but Hennessey pushes it straight to Costa, who can’t miss from a yard out. Chelsea are staying up!
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64 min: With Chelsea no longer quite as defensive, it’s notable how Fabregas has been at the heart of both of their goals today.
GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-2 Chelsea (Willian, 61 min)
If he’s watching this, Jose Mourinho has just put his foot through his television. This is a staggering goal and where’s this team been all season? Fabregas again starts the move, combining well with Oscar, who darts through the middle. He tries to burst past Dann, but he falls and the ball breaks to Willian, 25 yards out. He only has one thought in his mind. He charges on to it and belts a thunderous right-footer high past Hennessey and into the top left corner, the ball travelling into the net at a terrifying pace. What a strike from Chelsea’s player of the season!
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59 min: Zaha wastes Palace’s best chance, though there would have been controversy if it had gone in, with Kevin Friend allowing play to go on after what looked like a foul on Costa, who presumably would have reacted maturely. Campbell rolled a pass to Zaha, who should have shot first time. Instead he took a touch and bobbled a shot straight at Courtois. “If Chelsea win out, they’ll end up with 77 points. If Arsenal continue to average 2 points per match, they’ll end up with 78 points. So let’s just say it’s unlikely.
57 min: The Palace fans are irritated when Jedinak is booked for a hefty foul on Oscar. Kevin Friend has been lenient with a lot of Chelsea fouls.
56 min: Chelsea are playing some lovely football here and there. Is their confidence flowing back. They zip the ball around snappily on the edge of the Palace area, before working it out to Pedro on the left. His cross glances off Dann’s head and threatens to loop over Hennessey, who’s under pressure from Costa. However the goalkeeper does well to hold on to it.
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53 min: Chelsea win a free-kick on the right, Jedinak giving it away. Willian whips it towards the far post and Hennessey is forced to stay on his line by the quality of the delivery. It should end in a second Chelsea goal - but Zouma somehow directs his header high and wide from a few yards out.
51 min: Willian drops the shoulder and drives a cross into the middle from the right. McArthur diligently diverts it behind for a corner.
49 min: Palace’s crossing has been dismal. Souare is the latest culprit.
48 min: It’s been a low-key start to the second half, put it that way.
46 min: Palace get the second half underway.
Half-time: Crystal Palace 0-1 Chelsea
Chelsea lead a drab game thanks to Oscar’s goal.
45 min: There will be two more minutes of this first half.
44 min: Puncheon hoicks a cross behind for a goal-kick.
41 min: This is scrappy.
39 min: Palace are really struggling at the moment. Oscar’s goal has knocked the stuffing out of them. Have they got too many injuries?
36 min: Cesc Fabregas is granted time and space in the centre circle, so he gets his head up and pings a beauty over Ward’s head and through to Azpilicueta, who controls the ball on his chest before trying to score with a fierce volley. Hennessey gets down sharply to his left to save it and Delaney heads the loose ball over for a corner, which comes to nothing.
35 min: Pedro dummies a pass from Fabregas to Oscar, who smartly lays it back to the Spaniard. Pedro wins a corner on the left. Chelsea are playing some neat stuff now. Funny what happens when you’re allowed to express yourself.
33 min: Is Chelsea clawing their way back into the race to finish in the top four unthinkable? I assume they’re out of the title race.
31 min: “We are staying up!” chant the Chelsea fans.
GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-1 Chelsea (Oscar, 29 min)
Hello, the old Chelsea have just appeared out of nowhere. Cesc Fabregas - remember him? - slips a lovely slide-rule pass through to Costa on the right of the Palace area. It’s perfectly weighted and it tempts and teases Delaney, who tries to cut it out, only to end up on his backside, leaving Costa to run through on goal. He looks up, spots Oscar in a better position and tees him up for a simple finish. Oscar makes no mistake and Chelsea lead, ever so slightly against the run of play.
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25 min: The influential Puncheon finds space on the left and swings a dangerous cross into the Chelsea area. Chelsea’s defenders aren’t sure what to do. They’re all over the place. The ball just evades the stretching Dann in the middle, but it comes to Campbell on the right. However it squirts up awkwardly off the turf and he can only wonk his shot wide from close range. He might have done better.
24 min: A free-kick to Palace on the left. Puncheon finds Delaney again. He finds Courtois again. Moments later, Palace win another free-kick. They take it quickly and with Chelsea sleeping at the back, Zaha threatens to race clear. However Zouma denies him with a superb recovery challenge. What pace the young centre-back showed there. Palace appeal for a penalty, but they’ll have to make do with a corner.
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22 min: “Has anyone considered that over the past few weeks Eden Hazard might have been auditioning for Eva’s vacant position?” says Peter Crosby, in the absence of anything else happening. “He’s the most self-diagnosing footballer I’ve ever seen. Has this been his season-long goal (his only one..)? He might be an evil genius...”
19 min: Pedro is quickly into the swing of things, attempting to make an instant impact with a shot from 20 yards. It’s blocked by Ward’s face and play is stopped so the Palace right-back can receive treatment. This game is not very good.
17 min: Puncheon hangs the ball up to Delaney, who loops a header towards goal from 15 yards. Courtois claims the ball easily.
16 min: Hazard makes a sad, slow retreat down the tunnel before the free-kick can be taken, the Palace fans jeering as he disappears. Pedro comes on and, with that out of the way, Palace can finally fling the ball into the box. They win a corner on the left.
15 min: Ward charges down the right and he’s sent flying by a skidding Mikel, who escapes without a booking. The Palace fans are unimpressed with Kevin Friend’s refereeing. Meanwhile Hazard is making his pain very obvious to the Chelsea bench. He really wants to come off.
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14 min: Hazard attempts to dribble past Ward, but there’s no way round the Palace right-back and the ball goes behind for a goal-kick. Hazard slumps to the floor and grimaces, before getting up and signalling to the bench that he can’t continue. His season is going from bad to worse.
13 min: Delaney continues his aggressive approach against Costa, but this time he’s too forceful with a fairly needless challenge from behind in a harmless area. He’s booked and he’ll have to watch himself now.
11 min: Hazard is still on for now and he’s just gone in for a 50-50 challenge with Zaha. I wonder if he’d be playing on if a certain former Chelsea manager was in the dugout.
9 min: Hazard cuts inside for the first time and has a pop from 20 yards. It takes a deflection and zips wide for a corner on the right. However the worry for Chelsea is that Hazard is clutching his thigh after that attack. His afternoon might be over already.
7 min: Palace continue to push. Chelsea are caught dawdling near their own area and Zaha picks up possession before driving a couple of yards wide from 20 yards.
6 min: Azpilicueta looks a bit groggy, but he lives. Play resumes. Ward flashes a cross in from the right. The ball loops over Terry’s head and Campbell almost steals in behind him, only for Zouma to get it behind for another corner, which Chelsea clear.
4 min: Play is stopped with Cesar Azpilicueta down clutching his face, having been caught in the jaw by Campbell’s foot. It was an accident, but that’s painful.
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3 min: Costa attempts to barrel through the middle. He beats a couple of challenges with a powerful run, but then he’s sent flying by a firm but fair tackle from Delaney, who monstered him at Stamford Bridge in August. That’s known as laying down a marker.
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2 min: Puncheon aims the corner towards Delaney on the edge of the area, rather curiously, but the ball sails over his head and nothing much occurs.
We’re off! Chelsea, in their all-black away kit, get the game underway in treacherous conditions. They’re slipping and sliding from right to left in the first half, but it takes less than half a minute for Palace to win a corner on the left, Zouma tackling Lee.
Here come the teams!
It’s tipping it down in south-east London. Mind your touch.
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A year to the day since Alan Pardew joined Crystal Palace. There’s your narrative. He’s not done badly, has he?
Guus Hiddink is asked about Crystal Palace. “They’re close, they’re fighting for the Champions League,” he says. “Chapeau for them.”
Connor Wickham. Out! Yohan Cabaye. Out! Yannick Bolasie. Out! Patrick Bamford. Gone! It could be tough for a rejigged Crystal Palace. They’ll need a lot from Wilfried Zaha and Fraizer Campbell. They could be a bit more Pulisian from them today, an approach that got them a 1-0 win against Chelsea in 2014. For Chelsea, Cesc Fabregas and Diego Costa return, Pedro and Nemanja Matic dropping to the bench.
The teams!
Crystal Palace: Hennessey; Ward, Dann, Delaney, Souare; Lee, Jedinak, McArthur, Puncheon; Zaha; Campbell. Subs: McCarthy, Kelly, Ledley, Mutch, Williams, Sako, Chamakh.
Chelsea: Courtois; Ivanovic, Zouma, Terry, Azpilicueta; Mikel, Fabregas; Willian, Oscar, Hazard; Costa. Subs: Begovic, Baba, Matic, Loftus-Cheek, Ramires, Traore, Pedro.
Referee: Kevin Friend.
Preamble
Hello. The table has been turned on its head. Up is down, black is white, James Corden and John Bishop are funny. State of the Premier League these days. There Crystal Palace are, riding high in seventh place, poised to rise into fifth if they win today, and there Chelsea are, lurking low in 16th place, below Bournemouth, a mere three points above the bottom three. An old-fashioned switcheroo has taken place in west and south-east London. It’s supposed to be the other way round, Palace struggling, Chelsea flying, but not much about the Premier League has made sense this season. Isn’t it great?
Palace are unlikely to get a better chance to complete the league double over Chelsea. Their win at Stamford Bridge in August was a shock at the time, back when no one had quite realised just how bad it was going to get under Jose Mourinho, though it began to look like less of a shock as the season wore on and even Liverpool were able to take points off Chelsea. However it was a famous win for Palace, Alan Pardew’s side at their fearless, rambunctious, counter-attacking best, Yannick Bolasie leading the charge, and optimism is high at Selhurst Park. They’re unbeaten in six. Mind you, they have just had two goalless draws, Yohan Cabaye is suspended, they have injuries in several positions and ... isn’t it all just too perfect?
Many of the old flaws remain, but Chelsea’s attacking players have hinted at brighter things to come now that nasty man is gone and Guus Hiddink is being nice to them. Yet Chelsea are 22 points off the leaders. The quality of their squad means that they’re not quite out of the top-four picture just yet, but if there’s going to be a resurgence, it probably needs to start today.
Some people are calling it the Patrick Bamford Clasico. Not really. No one’s calling it the Patrick Bamford Clasico. All the same, it should be fascinating.
Kick-off: 1.30pm.
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