WHERE EAGLES DROP
Football Daily has long believed that no good can come from the prefix “multi”. Multi-storey car parks have been causing spikes in blood pressure ever since City & Suburban Electric Carriage Company opened the first anxiety maze at 6 Denman Street, London, in May 1901. Multiplexes are for watching films that have been dubbed over by some gobby ne’er-do-well crunching on a never-ending bucket of popcorn. Multiperspectivalism looks an interesting concept, sure, but we’re too thick to understand it properly and now we’ve got a headache. And the multiverse? This one not causing you enough misery?
Even this multipronged intro has outstayed its welcome. We could have just said that all connected with Crystal Palace are seeing the downside of football’s increasingly popular multi-club model. Last week, Palace were demoted from Bigger Vase to Tin Pot because Lyon – who are owned by Eagle Football Holdings, the company of Palace’s main shareholder John Textor, although he is in the process of selling his shares and we’re boring ourselves now – are in the same competition. Lyon finished higher in their domestic league, which means Palace are currently wearing a Tin Pot parachute against their will.
Their Bigger Vase place is likely to be taken by Nottingham Forest, whose benevolent concern for the greater good of football motivated them to inform Uefa of a potential breach of regulations by Palace. Forest’s owner Evangelos Marinakis also owns Olympiakos, but that’s different because … look, just click this for all the grown-up stuff. When Football Daily stumbled upon a video interview with Palace’s chairman Steve Parish and saw the quote “one of the great injustices”, our first thought was to wonder why Alan Bates had changed his appearance so drastically. Parish has appealed to Cas – and The Rest is Football, and anyone else who fancies an interview – so this is likely to go on for a while yet.
For a neutral teatime email there’s particular sadness in seeing Palace finish last in the Uefa Multi-Club Loophole Stakes. When they beat Manchester City in the FA Cup final in May, one word was conspicuous by its absence from the immediate post-match analysis: Europe. All that mattered was that Palace had won their first major trophy at the tender age of 119, and gloriously to boot. A Bigger Vase spot was the reward, not the prize. We have sympathy, not least because a Uefa sermon on integrity is almost as hilarious as Bob Mortimer on Would I Lie To You? But this has been on the cards for one club or another since multi-club ownership became English football’s latest money-spinne – sorry, English football’s first opportunity to pioneer and deliver a consistent underlying approach to talent development, fan experiences, sports entertainment, commercial opportunities and community impact. Still, Palace v Forest on 24 August should be fun. No, you silly old romantic, not the football. We want cameras in the boardroom. These days, that’s where the real action is.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It’s soul-destroying. It is two minutes to midnight and it’s just terrifying” – David Freer, a lifelong fan who has commentated on Morecambe games over 12 years for the Football League, on the Shrimps being days from collapse. Amid Jason Whittingham’s ownership, there is a very real possibility they will be banned from playing in the National League, which kicks off in three weeks, and players allowed to leave for nothing if they’re not paid by Friday.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Re: Hamrun Spartans’ shoot-out win over Zalgaris and it being ‘the first time a Maltese side have made it beyond this round, becoming part of football history’ (yesterday’s Football Daily). I am sure I won’t be the only football geek to point out that Malta was represented regularly in the European Cup’s early decades – eg Floriana (beaten 10-0 at Portman Road) and Hibernians, who held the Busby Babes 0-0 in Valletta before going down 4-0 at Old Trafford” – Alan Cooper (and no other football geeks).
I’m interested in the view that the north of England starts at Stoke (yesterday’s Football Daily). If so, does the south of England also start at Stoke? Asking for a friend who claims to live in somewhere called ‘the Midlands’” – Tony Rabaiotti.
After your comment on Jordan Henderson joining yet another club playing in red and white (Tuesday’s News, Bits and Bobs, full email edition), I couldn’t help but think which other Premier League clubs in red and white kits he has to cross off before he goes full circle and rejoins Sunderland. Arsenal seem the logical next move, as it’s just a short drift down the Regent’s Canal away. But would he survive ‘The Theatre of Dreams’? I sincerely hope Amazon will be there to film it all” – Yannick Woudstra.
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Tony Rabaiotti. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, can be viewed here.
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