The funniest standup I’ve ever seen …
My first thought was Margaret Cho. I used to watch her DVDs at 18 while stoned, and just marvel at her talking about sex and gay rights.
The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen …
Kylie Brakeman on Twitter re-enacting various Trump bot accounts, but basically any sketch she does: “Hello my name is suburban housewife, my job is America, and my husband is a gun.”
The funniest book I’ve ever read …
Recently, [Andrea Lawlor’s] Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl. I felt personally attacked by it constantly. For example, Paul needs a job and starts listing his known talents: “Shoplifting, washing dishes, knowing what was going to be fashionable a little bit early … having sex … being gay.”
The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen …
It’s got to be Fleabag. I watched it a few years late and really wasn’t prepared for Olivia Colman in it. She’s perfect.
The funniest film I’ve ever seen …
Mean Girls still stacks up 16 years later and is still supremely quotable. “Boo, you whore.”
The funniest person I know …
RuPaul! Every time the cameras were down, he was cracking jokes, flipping off the cameramen and hitting on the pit crew.
The funniest heckle I’ve ever had …
It’s not really a heckle, it’s a read, but RuPaul telling me (about my Snatch game performance) that my “Blanche was bland” has to be up there.
The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had …
Oh God. Do you remember faux hawks? Mine was dyed a sunset ombre, transitioning from yellow to red. It was not fetch.
The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny …
Karen compilation videos. I’m obsessed. “Calm dowwwwn!”
The funniest word …
“Scurryfunge”: it’s the act of furiously tidying your house because you’ve got company or a hot date coming. I used to call it “shamming”, as in: this picture I’m painting of having my life together is a total sham, but then I discovered a real word for it.
The funniest joke I’ve ever heard …
“So a baby seal walks into a club … ” What?! I’m Canadian. I’m allowed.
Crystal’s podcast The Things That Made Me Queer is out on 19 Jan
