2007. What a year for radio. Who saw that coming? Chrysalis and Emap bow out to make way for Global and H Bauer. Old boys Ralph Bernard and Phil Riley quit, Radio Five Live loses both senior managers and a television channel sets about putting the world of digital radio to rights, writes Paul Smith.
What will 2008 have in store for the industry? Forget predictions of more networking, more redundancies and more Buble, they're for amateurs. What if anything really could happen? What if the unexpected really could occur? Come with us now on a journey through time and space, and let us gaze into the world of tomorrow's... world.
February In a further move to cut overheads and appease shareholders, Xfm London sacks its remaining presenters and employs robotic icons from the 1980s. Seven Zark Seven, KITT, Sentinel One and Johnny Five from Short Circuit play more of your requests, as long as it's the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Or the Foo Fighters. BBC 6 Music responds by hiring the Zoids to replace George Lamb on mid-mornings. Nobody notices the difference.
July After Virgin and Sky News Radio abandon plans to broadcast on Channel 4's new digital multiplex, Nathalie Schwarz announces a move to replace them with Jon Snow Radio, involving little more than a minute long loop of the veteran journalist lamenting the pointlessness of it all, simulcast in both binary code and Urdu. Schwarz describes it as "bold and revolutionary programming that will prove a serious threat to Radio 4".
August The latest Radio 1 schedules are announced. Steve Lamacq is given a "high profile" 30 second slot sometime early on Sunday morning. The Dick and Dom breakfast show is extended by an hour and Monday evenings are devoted to music so obscure it can only be heard by bats.
September The fight to be London's number one commercial station reaches a bloody climax. Staff from Capital, Heart and Magic meet in Leicester Square and re-enact the Battle of Gettysburg. Paul Jackson pummels The Moon Under Water with cannons, believing it to be the hiding place of general Mark "mad dog" Browning.
November Following poor Rajar results at breakfast time, Johnny Vaughn and Denise Van Outen are demoted to overnights on Capital 95.8. Paul Jackson declares the duo "not cockney enough" for the target demographic and signs Chas and Dave for a pony a piece. London wakes up to a better music mix of Snooker Loopy and the one about the rabbit.
