Developing this week's rubbish innovations theme, the Observer news desk is baffled - saddened even - by the latest PR freebie to come its way: bread with 'invisible' crust. It is, according to the press release, a godsend to all those parents - 35 per cent of them - that currently cut the crusts off bread for themselves or their delicate-gutted little offspring.
67 per cent of children don't like crusts, according to made up numbers independent research by a well-known bread manufacturer. (Didn't they used to be called 'bakers'?)
Having inspected the loaf the Observer concludes that the crust is indeed barely visible and not at all like the crust on other loaves of bread. Thus is value added for the nation.
I understand that in order to keep the machinery of consumer capitalism oiled after our basic need for food and shelter has been met we need to keep inventing demands so they can then be supplied.
But crustless bread? Not since someone had the idea of dipping tissues in vaseline to avoid nose abrasion injuries in cold sufferers has there been a more vacuous innovation.
Our horror presents us with a problem. No one on the newsdesk wants the freebie loaf. But we can't throw it away. That would feel decadent and wasteful.
Crustless toast anyone?
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