'I might need glasses, but I can smell a bone at 500 yards!'Photograph: Rui Vieira/PA'My owner hasn't got a nose. How does she smell? Terrible!'Photograph: Graham Stone/Barcroft Media'Yes, I've been using that new whitening toothpaste and it seems to be working'Photograph: Darren Staples/Reuters
'I've gone for ash-blonde this season. What do you think?'Photograph: Ben Stansall/AFP/Getty Images'Look, I told the graphics people, it's a bloody dog show!'Photograph: Darren Staples/Reuters'Kennel No 5! It's delicious'Photograph: Rui Vieira/PA'Yep, it's Jodie Kidd AGAIN'Photograph: Graham Stone/Rex Features'It's by Victoria Barkham, darling'Photograph: Graham Stone/Barcroft Media'Forget digital radio, I can pick up Radio 4 perfectly with these'Photograph: Rui Vieira/PA'These little and large jokes are wearing a bit thin. And yes, I did see those two coppers outside the Queen's hospital. Laugh? I almost did'Photograph: Darren Staples/Reuters
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