Strange things afoot in the West End ... or perhaps only as far as Fleet Street. Monday's Independent spoke of a calamitous London theatre "slump", while yesterday's Times, toeing a rather different line, ran a story about a "Record year for West End". Cue a lurching double-take.
The Independent cited the early closure of big-name shows such as And Then There Were None, starring Tara Fitzgerald, while the well-reviewed Night of the Iguana, featuring Woody Harrelson, has apparently got tickets going begging. Even Lloyd Webber's redoubtable The Woman in White, the paper reported, was bowing out of the Palace Theatre earlier than expected. Heartening news, of course, but still - collateral damage and all that.
Suggestions to the effect that this was perhaps the worst season on record were substantiated by Cameron Mackintosh, no less: "You can stand in Piccadilly and instead of being buzzy, it's quiet," he claims. "All the big musicals have had tickets to sell on the day."
Well, that's funny, because, according to the Times, "Box offices have never been busier ... London theatres have played, hoofed and sung their way to the fullest houses since records began." How come? Well, according to fresh figures published yesterday by the Society of London Theatre, the trade organisation that represents producers, theatre owners and managers. So what's really going on?
The findings of the society's new report are essentially positive, suggesting that ticket sales during 2005 for the 53 theatres surveyed reached their highest level since 2002, with over 12 million bums on seats. The total take was in excess of £375m, up 13% on last year. All this, too, despite the London bombings last July, which were widely predicted to hit the city's theatre market hard.
But is the Times to be trusted? Contrary to the impression given by the paper, there are in fact no reliable statistics to tell us how the recent attacks have affected overseas theatregoers. So beyond anecdotal evidence, no one knows for sure whether "the Americans are returning", as the paper claims. Let's hope they are - given that, according to previous research, each tourist goes to the theatre an astonishing average of 3.6 times per visit to London (can that really be true?). It's a wonder they make Buck House at all, in fact, given that no one appears to be storming it with pyrotechnics or mounting tuneful barricades outside.
Even so, another reason to trust the society's statistics is that they offer a year-long view, rather than a subjective snapshot. Some interesting trends are picked out: musicals overall - and that includes you, Mr Mackintosh - actually make gains: up 4.9% on 2004. But plays are even more successful, at 5.1%. Attendance overall across all genres is up a modest, but nonetheless still healthy, 3.9% since last year.
So what about the claim that London theatre is shrouded in gloom? Well, not quite. A few closings there are - And Then There Were None is going early, sure, but We Will Rock You is in fact departing on tour - and it's been a slowish January to boot. Also, no one seems to have an accurate idea of how the July attacks have really affected theatreland, and we probably won't know for a while. But, on the whole, the situation seems pretty good. Maybe the doom-mongers within British theatre should simply shut up?
