In last year’s dopey dud Self/less, a dying Ben Kingsley had his mind transplanted into the body of Ryan Reynolds. Now, a dying Reynolds has his mind transplanted into the body of Kevin Costner in their fantastically stupid thriller from The Iceman director Ariel Vromen. “They messed with my brain…” complains Costner’s damaged-goods criminal in the opening voiceover, before setting off on a face-punching tour of Merrie London, replete with gorblimey cabbies, disposable coppers, and people who say “Oi, that’s bang out of order!” while Kevin kicks their heads in. He’s been brainsplanted because of some nuclear nonsense involving a “Spanish anarchist” and a hacker called “the Dutchman” (yes, really), but all this thinking is making Kevin’s head hurt. And ours too. Gary Oldman is the CIA chief who SHOUTS EVERY LINE in a wobbly American accent, and Tommy Lee Jones looks even more saddlebaggy than usual as the “maverick neurosurgeon” who kick-started all this silliness. The presence of Gal Gadot as Reynolds’s widow may draw a few Wonder Woman fans, but more notable is a cameo appearance by Piers Morgan which, in the wake of Entourage, is fast becoming the seal of a copper-bottomed screen stinker.
