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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Technology
Matt Kamen

Criminal Girls: Invite Only review – tasteless and terrible

Criminal Girls: Invite Only
Criminal Girls: Invite Only: 'wafer-thin plot and shoddy mechanics'.

With a group of “delinquent” girls banished to hell, you play their male warden, shepherding them metaphorically towards redemption and literally towards freedom when the underworld’s prison system fails. The setting is appropriate, as actually playing Criminal Girls is certainly a hellish experience.

One of the laziest examples of J-RPG game design ever seen, this is a level-up grind from the earliest moments. Thankfully, random battles occur every few steps during your trek around level after maddeningly dull level. Unfortunately, those battles are tortuous, with barely animated characters, terribly designed monsters and literally no backgrounds. Mechanically, they’re stunted too, with only one of four girls able to attack each round.

Wafer-thin plot and shoddy mechanics are bad enough, but the levelling system is downright offensive. The stereotypical anime girls (see above) learn skills as you discipline them with crops and electro-stims, rendering the game tasteless as well as terrible.

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