Well Mummy was like how was your Kree8ive BritON reception, I'm like, you know that nightmare when you're at a party and realise that Govey is the most famous person in the room but they've blocked the exit, well *that* #epicAlistfail. She's like, do try to be positive darling, at least there was nobody from Monty Python, I'm like well they could have warned me, I was like wow Mr Cleese what a special year, do you ever get flashbacks of those awful trenches, Sajid was like sorry Mrs Cameron this is actually John Barrowman from Torchwood, one of Gr8 BritON's many top notch art-type resources & Mr Barrowman was like no worries it happens all the time Cherie. I mean no offence to Helena, totes heroic of her to turn up, but creatives can be quite disappointing, intellectually-wise?
So finally we spot Natalie Dormer over Ronnie (?) something's head, Dave's like, OMIGOD it *is* Margaery from Game of Thrones srsly I am your biggest fan, she's like, excuse me has Chiwitel Ejiofor arrived yet, Dave's like, alas no but let me introduce Claudia Winkleman from the Fonz, oh bye Natalie, Claudia have you met Danielle Lineker, you share an interest in blue plaques?
I mean *blushes* I cannot believe I told everyone Benedict Cumberbatch was coming, eg Alexa was like OMG incredible I swear literally how much do you ship Sherlock and Bellatrix Lestrange, I'm like WHAT, she's like, as in they get together, SherBell, how immense would that be, & right up to the last minute Sajid was going do not worry Benny's on his way, I'm like *suspicious voice* Benny? Sajid's like, yeah, 'course I love the arts, glove puppets, sandpainting you name it, but cricket data is my guilty pleasure?
So Dave is like, holy crap Sajid, you invited Benedict Bermange the Sky Sports cricket statistician, Sajid is like, no prob he was glad to do it for a mate oh there he is, get your massive brain over here Benny Samantha is dying to meet you, I'm like, I'm leaving, Dave is like wait babes, there's my speech. I'm like, do you have ANY idea what this party could do to my brand, Dave's like well what about mine – oh :(((
