OXNARD, Calif. _ Cowboys defensive end Randy Gregory opened up Monday morning about his return to the NFL after being suspended for all but two games over the past two seasons for multiple violations of the NFL's substance abuse policy.
Gregory practiced during team drills for the first time at training camp Sunday afternoon, as he continues a carefully plotted comeback that long seemed unlikely.
"The last two weeks have been real fun," Gregory said. "I think the days and weeks and months leading up to this have been pretty emotional. I think I've learned to handle my emotions a lot better than I have in the past. A lot of ups and downs and things like that. Definitely the last two weeks have been a fun experience to be able to get back out here with my teammates."
Gregory has never been able to stay clean throughout his three-year career, failing a drug test at the NFL scouting combine before the Cowboys even drafted him out of Nebraska in 2015. He battles mental health issues, including anxiety and depression, sources have told The Dallas Morning News. Gregory said that along with mental issues, he also self-sabotaged himself and needed to grow up.
Beginning last December, he spent two months in rehab. Then he lived in a sober house. What did it take for treatment to finally work and what will he do to stay clean when the team returns on Friday to Dallas?
Gregory said he will continue to attend therapy sessions and take medication. He will live with a sober partner. He will not be left alone, said adviser Mike Ornstein, who helped Gregory through the complicated reinstatement process to the NFL.
"Well, I've got a good schedule," Gregory said. "Got around the right people, therapy always has helped, but being consistent with that, a healthy dose of medication, then being able to recognize what I have on my plate, my priorities and being happy, not only with what I'm doing but with myself internally has been the difference, I think."
Gregory said it's important for others to realize there's more to his issues than simply being a pothead, though he is known for having issues with marijuana.
"It's not just somebody walking around carelessly doing what they want," he said. "There is obviously a mental aspect to it that plays a big part in it for me that I've had to try to figure out. I think the moment I took a more serious approach to that with my therapy and the more people around me who understood what I was going through mentally made it a lot easier for me to get right."
Gregory said he, too, wondered if he would ever return to the NFL He was down to 195 pounds when he entered rehab, according to Ornstein and had "no self-confidence."
"Honestly, yeah. I think at my lowest point I felt that way," said Gregory, now up to 248 pounds. "I obviously knew there was a chance I would play again if I did the right things, but just looking at everything that was mapped out as far as what I needed to do and what I had going on in my life at the time, it was hard for me to say that I was really going to be back."
And what was the lowest point?
"I can't give you an exact date or anything but there was a couple times in the last two years at least and even last year where I had a lot going on in my personal life," he said. "I had a lot going on back at home with my parents, things with the team obviously, drug program, just everything career-wise. There was just a lot that I had going on mentally, physically and just trying to get myself back to baseline so I could continue on my path."
Team owner Jerry Jones said Sunday that he believes Gregory will be ready to contribute on the field for the season opener against Carolina. Gregory said he's still adjusting.
"It's kind of different pushing weight in the weight room compared to being out on the field and pushing somebody that's pushing against you," he said. "But it is kind of like riding a bike, because I am used to it, I've done it for a long time and a lot of those things that I think I was good at before I never really lost. And a lot of the things that I was working on before I worked on in the offseason, working on now, I'm picking up a lot quicker now that I'm working with other players."
He said he's thankful the team stuck with him.
"I think they believe in me," he said. "I think first and foremost they like me not only as a player but as a person. I've always tried to do the right thing. I know I always haven't but I've tried. And I think they realize that I was a person in need, sticking by me throughout that tough part and even now, it's been really important for me to get back, and I think it's worked.
"I've had a lot of support from players all the way down the list, coaches, obviously the Jones family. And even fans out there and about. Had a lot of support so that's been really good as far as me being back."
