Bristol Live has teamed up with Bristol City Council to launch the ‘Looking after Bristol’ appeal which aims to find Bristol’s next 70 foster carers.
There are currently 291 foster carers in the city providing placements for 614 children and young people in Bristol.
This week we are talking to a couple who foster some of the more challenging children in care - many of whom are on their last chance.
Here’s what they had to say about why they love their job as foster carers and why they wouldn’t change what they do - even in some of the more difficult circumstances.
For Jackie and Chris fostering is something that runs in the family.
From a young age they were both involved in the foster care world in Bristol - Jackie was a child in care herself and Chris’ mum was a foster carer.
So when they met as teenagers and eventually got married they knew that one day they wanted to become foster carers themselves.
Even if in the end, they “stumbled into it” as Chris says.
The pair began their fostering journey more than 17 years ago when they started caring for two of Jackie’s cousins.
And with five of their own children already - aged between two and 12 - it was no small task.
But the couple never considered saying no, and have kept that mantra ever since, having fostered no fewer than 20 children and young people over the years.
What makes the couple - who have been married 29 years this month - even more inspiring is that they tend to foster more teens who’ve had adverse childhoods and so can display very challenging behaviour.
“There are so many teenagers out there that need a foster home”, explains 46-year-old Jackie.
“And older children are just as worthy of getting a second chance as the younger kids.
“In fact they are at a point in their lives when that second chance could make all the difference to how their life pans out.
“Will they get a chance to finish school, get a job and their own flat and start a family, or will they end up in prison, on the streets or involved in drugs.
“We do have some of the more challenging kids, but it also makes it so much more rewarding as you can actually see the difference you are making to that young person's life.”
For Jackie and Chris challenging behaviour doesn’t just mean children who have been expelled from school - they’ve fostered children involved in gangs, some who have been in trouble for knife crime, drug users, youngsters with serious mental health issues and children whose parents can no longer manage their behavioural issues.
But for Chris, 48, it is about looking beyond what’s written about them on an email from children’s services.
“Children in care are some of the most vulnerable people within our society and some of the people they mix with know that,” adds Chris, who also works full time at a car garage.
“Because there are vulnerable older people who can take advantage, and the kids don’t always have the support and love to realise they are being manipulated.
“For us it is just about showing them they are loved and they have our support no matter what. They are part of our family.”
Chris and Jackie will usually have two or three young people staying with them at any one time. They are usually long term placements which means they tend to live with them until they leave at 18 or go back home to their parents.
“I would say that saying goodbye to them is really hard, but we don’t ever really say goodbye,” explains Jackie.
“I think there’s only one or two of the kids we’ve fostered that we don’t hear from anymore.
“They still come to our birthday parties and we go to theirs. We get invited to family barbecues and one of the young girls we fostered was recently a bridesmaid in one of our children’s weddings.
“Plus I get phone calls and texts all the time and me and Chris get cards and presents still on birthdays, Christmas, Mother’s Day and Father's Day.
“Our family just keeps expanding and we love it.”
And for the couple, who also have eight grandchildren, they say they have no plans on retiring any time soon.
“I really love my job,” says Jackie.
“Yes there are challenging moments but it’s the nice ones that make everything worthwhile.
“A kid offering to do the washing up after dinner, a thank you letter saying they think of us as their parents and being invited to meet their new baby at the flat they now live in.
“We really would never want to do anything else.
And what is the secret to their success - having a bit of understanding, being able to compromise, working with the birth parents and building trust.
“There’s not one teenager out there who’s completely perfect,” explains Chris.
“You just have to be willing to work with them, set boundaries and make them realise that you are on their side.
“It doesn’t happen overnight and it takes some work but what you’re doing is changing a young person’s life”.
And for Jackie showing the youngsters that you are willing to get on well and form a relationship with the birth parents makes a huge difference.
“They can see you are all getting on and working together to achieve the aim of them being able to return home,” she added.
“People also need to understand that these kids still love their mum and dad even if they aren’t the best person for them to live with.
“So if they want to ring their mum or go and visit them we will find a way to organise that.”
And their message for anyone thinking about becoming a foster carer - just do it.
Jackie adds: “You can think about it forever, but really just take the leap and sign up, it will be the best thing you ever do.”
If you are interested in becoming a foster carer or just finding out more about the process by calling 0117 3534200 or on the council’s website.
