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Benzinga
Benzinga
Business
Casey B. Renner

Couple In Their 30s Cleared $100K Debt — But Dave Ramsey Says Her Mom Is 'A Diminished Capacity' Parent Who Uses Money For Control

Dave Ramsey Slams Young Caller: 'Why...Your Parents Have To...'

Taylor from Knoxville, Tennessee, said she and her husband eliminated more than $100,000 in student loans. She told "The Ramsey Show," she hides that progress from her mother because it often leads to pressure for money. 

Personal finance expert Dave Ramsey responded that her mother is "a diminished capacity" parent who uses finances to maintain control.

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Debt Progress And A Long History Of Tension

Taylor, 32, said she and her 35-year-old husband paid off the loans in three years and have been married slightly over a year. She said her mother becomes demanding when a child earns more, and added that her mother took thousands of dollars from her first job at 16. 

As she described it, her mother uses money "as a means of control" even though she is financially comfortable. Ramsey asked if her mother would expect money if she found out about their progress, and Taylor confirmed it. She said that possibility makes her cautious about acknowledging any success.

At that point, co-host John Delony asked why Taylor still feels pressure to accommodate her mother. He said she may still be trying to earn the approval she started chasing as a child.

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Learning Boundaries While Managing Fear

Taylor said she wants to honor her mother but finds it difficult to set limits. Delony said honoring a parent does not require accepting actions that interfere with a family's stability. Ramsey told her that lying about financial progress only gives her mother "free rent in your head" and encouraged her to answer truthfully when money comes up.

As the discussion continued, Taylor said she fears the conflict may affect her marriage. Delony responded that her husband may eventually wonder why her mother's demands outweigh the goals they are trying to build together. 

Ramsey said the deeper mother-daughter dysfunction is "pretty serious" and is simply showing up through money.

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Direct Answers, Clear Lines And What Happens Next

Later in the call, Taylor said her parents corner her husband during visits and ask how much he earns. Delony said he can reply with a simple line such as, "I had a good year, and I’m not going to give you those numbers." Ramsey said financial details are private and the couple has the right to withhold them.

If her parents do not respect those limits, Delony said, any resulting distance would come from their reaction, not from Taylor's. Ramsey said telling the truth may feel intense at first, but the conversations become easier with practice.

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Image: Shutterstock

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