Describe it however you like: whether it’s “giving children and young people a voice” or “involving them in decisions that affect them”, it’s a no-brainer. It is one of the key features of good parenting. If we want to offer children the best experience possible at what is likely to be a difficult and traumatic period of their lives, their own needs and views need to be centre stage.
Local councils, which are the corporate parents, and those doing the parenting on their behalf, not only have a moral duty to involve children in meaningful decision-making, but are also legally required to do so. Some do it well, but far too many do not.
So why is it important to listen to children? From a parenting perspective, encouraging and supporting children to express their opinions helps them to do things for themselves, aids their personal development and ensures that they can have an impact on the things around them.
It builds the child’s confidence; enables them to express their feelings and thoughts on particular issues, and, importantly, whether they may be in danger. It also helps them to build respectful relationships with adults and other children.
For adults, giving children the opportunity to speak and to take into account their views helps us to build our understanding of their priorities, interests and concerns, including how they feel about themselves. Ultimately, it should help make sure that we make better decisions on their behalf and fewer mistakes.
I meet and listen to many children and young people in care. It is not unusual for them to say that they were not properly involved in their care planning and that decisions were made about their lives that they do not agree with, do not understand or were not involved in. I also visit many children’s care homes. The best have excellent, committed staff who foster a culture of listening and involvement. This is achieved through things such as daily meetings, during which children and young people can express their views on anything from how the home is run to which colour to paint their bedroom wall and what to have for dinner. The worst raise real concerns.
Thankfully, the “we know best” culture is continuing to wane, but it’s still not unusual for adults to be afraid of listening to children’s views. It is important that they do listen. Children understand that we cannot always act on what they say if it is not in their best interests, but they do expect us to be able to justify our decisions.
