Anyway, that’s us - now hop over here to Germany v Mexico! Yes!
Here’s a match report for you.
Evra is trying so hard to wacky my screen is cringing. Kolarov used to be his neighbour in Manchester, and was frequently naused by Evra and his title wins. Hilarious!
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Serbia ought really to have won by more - Mitrovic missed two brilliant chances. But on the other and, Sergej showed his class on the ball and knack for finding space. If he has a good game against Switzerland, that might be enough to secure second place in the group - assuming Brazil finish top. Which they might not.
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Full-time: Costa Rica 0-1 Serbia
And there it is. A brilliant free-kick from Aleksandar Kolarov is enough to settle the game. Costa Rica had their chances in first half, but Serbia stepped it up for 15 minutes in the second and that was enough to earn them the win.
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90+6 min Prijovic catches Duarte in the cheek with a stray finger. It’s probably deliberate, but there’s very little harm done, and after VA, then the ref reviewing the situation, a booking is disbursed.
90+5 min Costa Rica get down the right and Gamboa swipes in a cross. Ruzi finds himself on the ball, doesn’t get hold of a shot, and Bolanos turns it in - but is offside and plenty.
90+4 min A minor scuffle as Matic wants the ball for a throw, Ramirez won’t give it him because it’s Costa Rica’s possession, and various others pile in to jockey and nudge. VAR have a look to see if anyone wants sending off, but nothing doing. That was nearly beautiful, but everyone remembered where they were just in time to ruin it.
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90+3 min Costa Rica win a corner and Kostic win the ball on the edge of their box! He ploughs forward and has three men in space to his right! But as he nears the box, he tries I don’t know what, floating nonsense into Navas’ soft, grateful arms.
90 min There’ll be five added minutes and Costa Rica start them with a free-kick. Bolanos curls a dangerous looking ball into the box, Milenkovic heads away well, and Gamboa drives a low shot that Stojkovic fields comfortably enough.
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90 min Sergej has been excellent these last ten minutes, and he barges through midfield and finds Kostic, who larrups over the bar.
89 min Prijovic rescues Mitrovic, who ought to have finished this. He’s actually played ok as a target man, but didn’t look confident with either one-on-one.
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87 min Mitrovic is having one here.He makes a mess of his control after a decent pass from Sergej, then when Sergej plays him in beautifully, his first touch isn’t good enough, he hesitates, and then can’t get the ball out if his feet before Gonzales slides in.
84 min Costa Rica are struggling to create anything, but given Serbia aren’t really trying to score, you’d expect them to have a few more goes at sticking the ball into the box.
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82 min Second change for Serbia: off goes Tadic and on comes Rukavina or, put another way, it’s a defender for an attacker.
81 min Sergej picks up a loose ball and lifts a ball over the top for Mitrovic, but Duarte is over quickly to intercede. Good defending.
80 min Sergej, then. He’s really, really good in possession, but could do with finding a way to make that happen more often.
79 min Colindres goes down the line and spanks over a cross that’s got far too much on it. But then Sergej gets his team into trouble with a flick close to the edge of his own box, and Milenkovic has to block Borges’ shot.
78 min Serbia are really quite good when they get it together - as they should be, with the players they have. But they just lack that bit of drive and intensity.
76 min Good couple of minutes from Serbia, Sergej lumping over the top before Mitrovic finds Tadic, whose low cross is poked against Kostic by Navas’ fingertip. Excellent keeping.
75 min “Watching the game in Heraklion yesterday,” tweets Jeff Buck. “Three Americans at the next table. One asks ‘Does Russia have the Euro’; “Not since the Brexit,” says another’ the others nod sagely.
My favourite word in this anecdote is “the”.
73 min Milenkovic tires to get in front of Campbell and finds himself coming from behind the ball is deflected into the space he vacated. But he does really well to come back at him and concede a corner. Before it’s taken, Guzman is replaced by Colindres, and Serbia then clear.
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72 min Campbell slings in an outswinger, but Sergej is there to head away.
71 min Milenkovic fouls Campbel and is booked; free-kick Costa Rica, 30 yards out, in line with the left edge of the box.
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70 min Change for Serbia: Kostic replaces Ljajic.
70 min Things have quietened again. Costa Rica are passing sideways slowly, looking for an opening; Serbia are letting them.
68 min Costa Rica are driving the game now. I don’t see that this is Serbia’s likeliest route to a result, though it should still work.
67 min Second change for Costa Rica: off goes Urena, on comes Arsene Wenger’s Joel Campbell.
66 min Serbia aren’t settling for 1-0 but are funnelling back out of possession, leaving Mitrovic up front.
65 min We shouldn’t forget that Paulo Wanchope was manager of Costa Rica ... until this happened.
63 min Bolanos has been lively since coming on, looking to put the ball into the box quickly. He’ll need his mates to get in there too, though, if that’s to work.
62 min “Weird stuff at football,” emails James Crane. “A few years ago I took my seat at Hampden for the Celtic/Aberdeen cup semi to find my neighbour shelling and then eating a bag of half a dozen boiled eggs. Not the *very* worst, admittedly, but still odd (also it absolutely stank the place out). And, as any fan will testify, to be the primary bad smell at such an occasion is quite the achievement.”
That is odd. Maybe he likes Cool Hand Luke.
60 min Bolanos replaces Venegas and with his first touch, curls in a dangerous free-kick. Tosic heads it away, but Serbia dropped very deep there.
59 min Ivanovic slides in on Venegas, sort of with with two feet but sort of winning the ball in the process, and he’s booked.
58 min That was what we needed. Costa Rica can’t just sit there now, because if they do they’ll lose and Serbia have also looked like scoring while they were at it. Ljajic bursts through the middle and Sergej nearly finds him - hopefully Serbia won’t sit on their lead.
WHAT A GOAL! Costa Rica 0-1 Kolarov (56 min)
AND THERE IT IS! Kolarov curls an absolute jazzer over the wall an just inside the near post! The power he generated with the side of his foot there! Brilliant!
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56 min Mitrovic focres himself away from Calvo, who tries all manner of foul before earning himself a yellow card. Free-kick Serbia, just outside the box, right of centre ... also known at, er, “Kolarov territory”.
54 min Kolarov forces himself a yard and curls a decent cross towards the back post. Sergej isn’t getting it, but Calvo can’t be sure and heads behind ... the corner is decent, and Duarte grabs Mitrovic who, as a consequence, gets very little on his header and the ball flies wide,
52 min Serbia are passing and moving a bit more aggressively now. I still wonder if they need two sitting midfielders.
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50 min A chance! Mitrovic takes the ball on his chest very nicely and finds Sergej, who caresses a lovely return pass back into his stride. But, with Gonzales on his heels, he leans left and slides right, far too close to Navas, who blocks before Duarte humps behind. That finish was very poor.
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49 min Something I’ve noticed in this World Cup so far: teams that have played miserably in the first half have pretty much done likewise in the second. The travel hairdryers do not appear to be working properly.
48 min Sergej catches Guzman on the achilles, and he goes down in discomfort. That’s about it.
47 min On the plus side, Catchphrase is on next.
47 min
“Today we’re building the wall!”
— Matt Ford (@matt_4d) June 17, 2018
Questionable front page from @welt this morning, both politically and tactically 🤨 #germex #worldcup
(via @alexpieter) pic.twitter.com/77vFDKMOhH
46 min Right, let’s try again. Come on, lads. Please.
Gosh, Evra has just interrupted a conversation between Aluko and Larsson by opening his arms to perform the “calm down” gesture. It is awkward and crap; twee zane does not translate well to television.
Half-time email: “It’s interesting how people can have such different impressions of the same game,” tweets Michael Kazich. “Until the final pass, I think Serbia look the more technically accomplished and capable of producing a goal scoring move - though admittedly Costa Rica look dangerous on the break.”
I agree with all of that. Serbia are better, but they’re not moving the ball as quickly as they can at the moment.
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Anyway we’ll be back in ten, and hopefully the players will have something for us.
I should note that before the game, Patrice Evra applauded Eni Aluko for her footballing knowledge. Only he knows what he really meant, but it looked a lot patronising.
Half-time: Costa Rica 0-0 Serbia
Costa Rica have got the balance nicely settled between attack and defence, while Serbia are struggling to find their rhythm. They’ve played ok, but do not look like scoring.
45 min There’ll be two added minutes.
45 min ‘Out here in Korea the commentators have mentioned Ivanovic’s arse twice,” tweets Micky Lim, “it having been given an encouraging pat by the coach and just blocked a cross. I’m excited to see what it does in the 2nd half.”
He’s done really well to develop it in the autumn of his career.
44 min Is it just me, or is the grass on this - and other pitches - too long. It’s not entirely easy to tell through the telly, but it looked a particular problem in the France-Australia game yesterday.
43 min A backheel from Matic sets a Serbia attack going and eventually, Milivojevic crosses into the middle, where Sergej connects well with an overhead kick, but picks out Navas. The flag goes up, though had he scored, VAR would surely have intervened for he was onside.
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42 min Calvo out to Vanegas on the touchline, who slides a return infield. Calvo gathers, composes, and slides a low drive just past the near post.
41 min “Up at 6am to watch this in Costa Rica,” says CD on Twitter. “Girlfriend asked on walk to bar if anyone will actually be watching. Packed, beers flowing, I love the World Cup.”
Be sure to miss all those beaches and all that wildlife for extra points.
39 min Serbia have created nothing so far. The two best chances, by far, were Gonzalez’s headers. And have a look! Tosic slips in the act of clearing, Calvo picks up the ball, evades a tackle, and leathers a shot over the bar.
36 min Tosic gets up early and hard to beat Acosta in the air, ploughing through him in the aftermath. Both go down and look hurt, though should be fine.
35 min Sergeg catches the ball in his arm but escapes and then, out on the right, Tadic is needlessly fouled by Venegas. But when the free-kick arrives at the front post with some pace, Navas flies out to punch clear.
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35 min After a promising start, this game has regressed to the mean.
33 min Venegas appears to have picked up a knock, but he’s pushing through for the now.
32 min “La Marseillaise is great in any version*,” emails Kari Tulinius, “but I have a special fondness for Serge Gainsbourg’s reggae version. And for sheer emotional force, you probably can’t beat it when Gainsbourg sang it a cappella in front of far right demonstrators who had shut down his concert because they objected to said reggae version of the national anthem.”
*if we focus solely on its musical elements
30 min “Re 20th minute,” begins Matt Howell. “‘Tadić performs some trickery and footwork, before getting nowhere with it’ - this is a very concise yet alarmingly accurate description of Tadić’s performances for Southampton over the last couple of seasons.”
There are loads of players who are capable of great stuff - way more than there’s ever been, I’d say - but there are still only a few who can deliver regularly.
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28 min Serbia are monopolising the ball now, but could do with shoving more men into the box when they go wide. Tadic just does really well to work space to cross, but Mitrovic was the only man looking to get on the end of it.
27 min Lovely pass over the top from Kolarov and Sergej is in! His first touch is serviceable, putting the ball into his stride but a little under his feet, and he can’t impart any power to his shot, so Navas saves. Turns out he was offside anyway.
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25 min Lovely touch from Mitrovic in the box to kills Tadic’s cross, but he can’t quite get body around it to get the shot away.
23 min A little lull, as Serbia nudge the ball across their back four. Costa Rica are sitting a little deeper now, but Tadic still finds a terrific pass, bent from the right touchline with the outside of left foot. On the by-line, Ljajic catches up with it, but gets way too much on his cross.
22 min Tadic flicks the ball away ahead of Calvo, who scythes through him with gusto and is booked.
21 min “It doesn’t bode well for the quality of an expended World Cup that there’s a left back at this World Cup who just got done for pace and skill on the wing by Ivanovic,” snarks David Flynn.
Branno to you.
20 min Serbia are finding a lot of joy down their right, but are yet to find a decent final ball. Tadic performs some trickery and footwork, before getting nowhere with it; Costa Rica clear and Serbia start again.
18 min I love your idea of national anthems in the styles associated with the countries,” emails Bob O’Hara. “Although I fear it would mean that England would have to arrange a Beatles reformation. A metal (but not death metal) version of Maamme exists:
For the uninitiated, that’s the Finland job.
16 min There’s a lovely tempo to this so far, and Ivanovic bulls down the right, cuts inside thus sending Gamboa for a bag of borsht, and crosses low. But he can’t quite pick out Mitrovic, and as such Costs Rica charge forward once more.
15 min “On an uncommonly nice summer day in Helsinki I’m choosing to plant myself on a barstool and watch Costa Rica play Serbia,” emails Kari Tulinius. “The patio is full and no one’s inside but me and two middle-aged gentlemen speaking Spanish, who I’m guessing are Costa Rican. I feel like I should feel sad about this, but truth be told next summer I’ll miss afternoons like this.”
Can I suggest a chair with a back?
13 min Serbia burrow forward and get the ball to Mitrovic, but his shot is blocked by Duarte, his deflection making it leap up kindly for Navas.
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12 min Ye’vegottaescore! Costa Rica win a corner down the left, go short, and then Urena guides a lovely gentle cross to the back post, which no one Serbia deems a nifty place to hang out. Again, Gonzalez is there unmarked, but he gets his header all wrong, caught under the ball and bumping it high. Naughty.
11 min And there’s one of them, Venegas down the left, driving a cross into Ivanovic’s shins to win a throw. By the look of things, Oscar Ramirez fancies him to have a go at Ivanovic.
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10 min Serbia are moving the ball nicely so far, but Costa Rica are pushing on more than (I) expected. Their five at the back is more of three, and the wide players are high up the pitch most of the time.
8 min “Check out the best version of ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ ever, by Marvin Gaye,” tweets misterarthur.
I do love that one, but I do also love this one.
7 min Serbia moves the ball through Sergej to Kolarov who, from 25 yards, cuts across a low, diagonal shot that he can’t quite draw enough and it scooshes past the far corner.
5 min “Interesting point re anthems,” tweets Alan Phoenix-Bates. “I’d have liked that implemented at the 1966 World Cup. The thought of England intoning God Save The Queen to a bunch of backward tape loops assembled at Abbey Road by George Martin and Paul McCartney is intriguing to say the least.”
If you play it backwards, it says “Swinging London, what a load of nonsense”.
3 min This is a great start! The corner is improperly cleared and Venegas crosses again from the left ... and Gozalez is free! But he can only head straight at the keeper – into what I’m pretty sure Iain Dowie just described as Stojkovic’s “midrift”.
2 min Lovely pass from Ruiz, slid into space behind Kolarov and while he turns, Urena makes himself a brew then saunters overt to the ball. He’s got an angle to shoot, but it’s a little tight, so Stokovic parries behind.
1 min Ivanovic clips a lovely pass over the top into Mitrovic inside the Cost Rican box, but his first touch is loose. Still, Serbia manufacture a corner, clipped in well by Ljajic, and Mitrovic gets a head to it but Gonzales scrambles clear.
1 min Off we go!
Here’s an idea: why don’t they do anthems in the style of music most associated with the country? So in England we have jungle, USA have blues or rap, Germany industrial techno and so on.
The Costa Rican anthem is as well-rendered as you’d hope.
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Someone needs to commission scientific research into the correlation between elite football ability and absolute inability to sing in tune.
I must’ve been taking a comfort break when this happened, but Aleksandr Kolarov hurt himself kicking in. He’s fine to start, but.
Out come the teams!
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“In the 70s at Goodison,” beardstrokes Gary Naylor, “with about ten minutes to go, I heard a someone loudly exclaim, ‘Mick Lyons has had a shocker - Lee should drop the (****).’ Of course, Lyons was injured and not playing - but no squad numbers then!”
“His image is getting bigger than his football,” Patrice Evra just said of Paul Pogba on ITV. Though I don’t think he meant it critically, that is kind of fair, but he then goes on to say that people expect too much of him, which is nonsense. It is not our fault that he doesn’t run enough, force his way into games in the first half, or plays careless passes. He’s an amazing talent, but there’s no way he’s doing everything possible to maximise it.
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With the duller games we’ve seen so far, we’ve not seen an early goal. If Serbia can somehow find one today, that’d be very much appreciated.
Terrible things you hear at the match, from Nezza on Twitter: “Spurs/Juve friendly last year - a lady said it was her first ever game. Guy behind me decides to commentate the entire match for her and slated everyone but “our ’Arry”. Eriksen is “lazy”, Dembele “doesn’t attack”, Lloris a “liability”! Not sure why he supports Spurs.”
This is magic marker, yeah?
@JesseLingard if this doesn’t deserve a retweet I don’t know what does.....👀 pic.twitter.com/nFjiw3Pflj
— george (@georgioacklam) June 17, 2018
This afternoon, I’m particularly looking forward to watching Milinkovic-Savic SMS Sergej. I’m not certain if a team defending deep will suit him, nor am I sure quite what kind of player he is – he’s not a lot of use in his own half, but not prolific enough to play as a number 10. But I am sure that he’s loads of fun, and extremely confident in my ability to form the correct opinion as to his ability based on the next 90 minutes.
To set your minds at rest.
Also that evening: the sole of my Air Jordan 3 (black cement, original) came away from the shoe. A woman on the next table only gave me super glue from her handbag! I’m pretty sure this kindness and serendipity is what saved the beautiful game.
Feel free to send in the worst things you’ve overheard at football, and your favourite coincidences too.
However it is with deep regret that I relate the following anecdote: In 2011, I was in the Sloaney Pony before Chelsea played Manchester United in the Champions League. A Chelsea fan on the next table was informing his son how easily United’s attack would be nullified. “With John and Branno,” he said, “no problemo!”
Somehow, though, football pulled through, was not cancelled forever, and here we are today.
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Mazal tov! With today’s cap, his 104th, Branislav Ivanovic becomes Serbia’s most capped player ahead of Dejan Stankovic.
And then, of course, there’s old Mitro – precisely the kind of cat you want to see scoring at a World Cup. We deserve his celebration.
Serbia, meanwhile, opt for two midfield anchors – I’m not certain they’ll need that – but it’s in front of them where the fun is to be had. Sergej Milinkovic-Savic is a brilliant talent, while flanking him he has the guile of Adem Ljajic and Dusan Tadic. I wonder if, at some point, Tadic might go over to the left to help his team get around the back, but in the meantime, look for him to wander infield to combine with his two pals.
So yeah, about that proud Costa Rican tradition. I hoped, but by the looks of things, they’ll play as they should play and they played against England: with numbers at the back, and looking to counter if and when they can.
DJs and MCs
Costa Rica (a devastating 5-4-1): Navas; Calvo, Acosta, Gonzalez, Duarte, Gamboa; Bryan, Guzman, Borges, Venegas; Urena.
Serbia (a third quarter-heavy 4-2-3-1): Stojkovic; Ivanovic, Milenkovic, Tosic, Kolarov; Matic, Milivojevic; Tadic, Sergej, Ljajic; Mitrovic.
Preamble
Everyone deserves to be spoilt once in a quadrennial period, and as such, I have no compunction whatsoever in saying I want an Oompah-Loompah Daddy it’s about bloody time we were served a decent game. Because, brilliant though Spain-Portugal was, it was all of 36 hours ago. I mean.
And we’ve decent reason to hope that today’s first attempt might just be the thing. Costa Rica have a proud tradition of attacking football, they need the points, and they might not want to invite Serbia onto them. That’s because Serbia scored 20 times in 10 qualifiers and, particularly in midfield, have players with skill, imagination and wit.
It’s fair to assume that Brazil will win this group, but both these outfits – and Switzerland too – will fancy their chances of chapping the second last-16 spot. So, in theory, this should be acceptable. In theory.
Kick-off: 1pm BST
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