Do you get riled up just thinking about world problems? Do your neighbors get on your nerves?
We all have issues that intensify our emotions. Any of us can get a tummy ache from feeling the pressures of life. We can get so angry we say foolish things, making ourselves look off center.
Keeping your emotions under control doesn’t mean you don’t have them. It doesn’t mean you can’t allow yourself to feel them.
But, it is important not to let your emotions escalate too much. It takes lots of practice to keep them in line, but this self-control will benefit you in many ways.
Here’s how staying calm will improve your life:
– People will trust you to make important decisions. An unflappable person is more credible in a leadership role, for example. A calm person makes a better employee. People with steady nerves can help those around them resolve difficult situations.
– You’ll be able to think a lot straighter. When you calm down, notice how many solutions start coming to mind. When you’re less emotional, things will seem more doable. If you’re fizzing with anger, you can’t even image good solutions to problems.
– You won’t say and do things you’ll regret. Keeping calm and steady means your words, actions, plans, and directives to other people will change things for the better. Acting when you’re under stress can throw things way off kilter.
Of course, you have to change your thinking to hold your emotions in check. If you perceive why staying calm will get you more respect and power in life, you’ll be motivated to cool down.
“Positive self-talk has helped me,” says a mother of five who is also a nurse supervisor. We’ll call her Stephanie. “Before I take charge of anything, I tell myself I can manage the problem calmly. If I have faith in myself, others will too.”
Stephanie knows that staying cool helps bring better outcomes for her hospital staff. If she sets the tone for emotional harmony, others around her will follow her lead.
“Staying calm doesn’t mean your heart isn’t racing,” says Stephanie. “It means you deliberately choose to be the adult in the room.”
Telling yourself you’ll figure things out will also mean devising a plan of action. If you can see that you need to call someone to get information or ask someone for specific help, you can get busy acting and quit waste time worrying and becoming more nervous.
“You’ll become very nervous if you begin to doubt yourself,” says an attorney we’ll call Bob. Bob coaches his clients on staying calm in a courtroom. He advises people to practice speaking and acting calmly, so their words will have more power.
“Know what you’re after and your anxiety levels will go down,” says Bob. “Think and speak in ways that bring the exact outcomes that you want.”
A public speaking coach we’ll call Trevor says he teaches his students to “take control” of a room full of people. He helps speakers keep their emotions and shakiness under control.
“I teach people to act and speak in a deliberate way,” says Trevor. “You have to act confident in order to feel confident. Even with your kids, spouse, or boss, you need to be more direct and confident. This alone will cause you to feel less emotional. Just try it.”
Learning to present ourselves calmly and confidently to others will help us get things done faster. Self-doubt, worrying, and dreading negative feedback postpones real solutions.
