Do you worry that being too nice can get you into trouble? You know how this goes. You let people know you’re kind, helpful and honest, but some start taking advantage of you.
They use your “goodness” against you.
To remain being a moral person, you have to believe standing up for what’s right will keep you safe.
“I’ve taught my children that the person you’ll lean on in life is yourself,” says a mother of six we’ll call Juanita. “We each should go through life anchored to truth, honesty, giving our best, and speaking up for what’s right. This provides the moral compass to navigate trials.”
Let’s examine the facts about the advantages of possessing good morals:
• You don’t have to second-guess yourself. Distinguishing right from wrong helps you choose the best path for the long haul. This saves you time, as you’ll avoid indecision throughout your life.
• Your enemies will sense your self-confidence. People not only respect a calm person, they fear a calm, self-confident person. Moral people who are centered and sure of themselves can convince authority figures their version of the truth is real. They can hold up well in court, so to speak.
• Your beliefs give support to your friends. If you honor right from wrong, your friends will come to you for advice.
• You’ll be entrusted with more responsibility in life. Your family members, boss, community leaders, and business partners will trust you with decisions, financial choices, and more. Your morals are the protection they need for themselves and their own interests.
Being moral doesn’t mean we won’t take a beating occasionally. Bullies who want to take advantage of situations and people will try to run over you. And yes, at times telling the truth can get you into more hot water than lying.
Moral people must be brave. They have to learn how to judge character, and they have to set boundaries.
“As a parent, I feel lost in dealing with morals,” says a bank administrator we’ll call Kathy. “While I try to instill kindness and values into my twin boys, they’re telling me they just got beat up at school.”
Kathy says her parents taught her right from wrong, but she’s tempted to slug the bullies’ parents!
“These parents should be teaching kindness!” Kathy insists.
With challenges coming from many directions, it’s easy to abandon some of your morals. Maybe the integrity your parents or grandparents taught seems archaic.
“It’s not easy to remain cool when a bully comes lunging for you,” says a psychologist we’ll call Richard. He works with students in the Southwest Virginia region.
“You can protect yourself, speak the truth, and deal with any situation,” Richard declares. “The hard part is this: You’ll have to take some steps that might be inconvenient. It’s not easy to change something about yourself. But, to remain true to your morals, you might have to leave a relationship, leave a place of work, or travel to school by a different route. And, you may need to call in an authority figure to protect you, even a lawyer.”
He explains that too many teenagers “borrow” their morals from their friends. “Parents hesitate to define right from wrong these days,” says Richard. “They are afraid they can’t live up to them in front of their kids.
“But,” he summarizes, “every home and every household needs a moral foundation. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up to fail. Integrity is the fabric that holds our society together. Kids know when they're woven into that fabric.”
