Are you lost trying to fix some of your stress issues? You might wonder: What needs to change? Can anything be changed? Am I stuck?
If you ask the right questions, you will discover some solutions. You will bring your world into focus.
Questions are powerful. They reveal more about each stressful situation. For example, you might ask, “Do I hate my job itself, or do I simply dislike my supervisor? Is my marriage in trouble, or am I failing to fix my own true problems?”
Most of us can benefit through some soul searching. We can, in a real sense, interview ourselves.
For example, it’s important to constantly ask: What’s going well in my life? What relationships are working? What is productive?
These tips can help you choose questions that can turn things around:
– Ask yourself: What good choices have I made throughout life? This might include eating healthy, exercising faithfully, or remembering birthdays of friends and family.
– Ask yourself: What do I actually have the power to change? For example, you can stop dwelling on people who hurt you years ago. Or, you can ask yourself how you can improve your daily schedule.
A restaurant owner we’ll call Becky was on the verge of divorcing her husband this past summer. Becky decided to ask him a few questions first.
“My husband was always angry and wouldn’t go anywhere with me,” says Becky. “When I thoughtfully asked him a few health questions, he decided he needed to tell me about his chest pain.”
Becky’s husband, as it turned out, needed open heart surgery. He had bypass surgery in October 2020.
“His migraines are gone, and his chest pain is gone,” says Becky. “No wonder he was cranky and not in the mood to socialize.”
A bank teller we’ll call Dionne recently asked herself, “How can I finish college?” Dionne is 47 and vows she can’t be happy until she finishes her degree.
“I sat down by myself one Sunday afternoon,” she explains. “I asked myself how I could take just a single class. I asked myself how I could make time to continue, taking just one or two classes per semester. My goal is to finish 60 credits. Then, I’ll figure out the rest.”
Most of us, when we pursue a goal, have to ask: How will I find time to do this? What must I neglect in order to reach my goal?
A policeman we’ll call Barry says he asked himself a big question a few months ago. “I asked myself which diet and exercise program would work for me,” he says. “I wanted to lose 30 pounds.”
Barry talked with several weight loss experts. He was told to count calories, watch his sugar intake, cut back on carbohydrates, buy protein drinks, enroll in a weight loss class, etc.
“Finally,” Barry says, “I had to trust myself. Which diet would I stick with? The exercise was a matter of spending an hour in the gym every other day.
“I decided to cut my eating portions by 25 percent,” he explains. “I eat anything I want. I just don’t eat as much. Funny thing is, I eat slower, I really taste my food, and I get filled up!”
He reports losing seven pounds the first two weeks.
“Asking a clear, simple question will open your mind to what will suit you,” he summarizes. “Trust your own sense of self. You know what you can and can’t do. You know what will and won’t work for you. I lost the entire thirty pounds in four months.”
