David Cameron was not especially helpful to his chum and neighbour, George Osborne, on Sunday when he told the BBC’s Andrew Marr: “As I said to Jeremy Corbyn, sometimes the outsider wins.” Such as Boris? Theresa? Or the education secretary, Nicky (who she?) Morgan, perhaps. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Nicky said cryptically.
Undeterred, chancellor George gave a cosy conference interview to the Mail on Sunday, revealing himself to be a fan of rap group NWA and “an irregular Anglican” who never prays. More interesting, his mother, Felicity, is a former Amnesty International worker who speaks Mandarin. She once gave him a copy of Mao’s Little Red School Book.
Working-class heroes
What with Michael Ashcroft’s money and taxpayers’ money, the Tories bunged much more money than their rivals at targeted marginal constituencies ahead of the 7 May election. At the start of the Manchester conference, the party chairman, Andrew Feldman, unveiled a brand new bung. Some £250,000 has been found to help working-class candidates, people quite unlike Lord Feldman and his Oxford tennis pal, Dave, to win seats and detoxify the posh party image. The cash will allow them to give up low-paid jobs (Feldman himself is a barrister) and nurse their seat without having to send the kids to a food kitchen. It will also compensate for those cuts in tax credits.
No cartoons from this Steve Bell
With half the new Tory intake coming from private schools and one third from Oxbridge, the party proudly points to Maria Caulfield, who won Lewes despite growing up on a council estate. Her Thatcherite sarf London partner, the National Conservative Convention president, opened the conference yesterday with a triumphalist video celebrating the election defeat of Milibandistas and Cleggites. His name is Steve Bell. No, not that Steve Bell.
Hamming it up
Security at Lib Dem conferences has always been a bit of a joke (who would want to kill Nick?). This year, Labour’s humbled circumstances (ditto kill Jeremy) meant security in Brighton was perfunctory, too. Not so in Manchester, where more police than for many years were out enjoying overtime in bright sunshine, keeping the TUC demo out of Tory earshot. Some protesters were wearing pig masks to mock Dave’s bestial habits (alleged). Even the catering stand is subtly undermining. This year’s special is pulled pork.
Balls to tactfulness
In his underwhelming address, Lord Feldman was a shade tactless. Celebrating the first majority Tory government since 1997 (how they love that detail), he said people will now remember exactly where they were when Ed Balls lost his seat instead of where they were “when England won the World Cup” (he meant 1966, not Saturday’s rugby exit). He then invoked “mass unemployment” in the Labour 1970s ( it was actually lower than now). Not to be outdone, the defence secretary, Michael Fallon, later urged delegates to honour men and women who wear the Queen’s uniform, all 2,000 of them. Unless defence cuts are deeper than admitted, he meant 200,000.
Helping out
The conference press office is adorned with posters reading ‘CTF Partners – when you give advice, seek to help, not to please’. Payback time for Lynton ‘Dog Whistle’ Crosby, whose help won Dave the election.
