Conan O’Brien delivered an electric opening monologue at the 2026 Oscars that torched the destruction of art by AI and corporate greed, the destruction of the world by [checks notes] also AI and corporate greed, and celebrated the shared humanity and cohesion that is the true story of filmmaking. In other words, he proved why he’s the GOAT — and why he was given the gig two years running.
Here are Conan’s best moments from the 98th Academy Awards.
Celebrating being ‘the last human host’ of the Oscars
“Hey, I am Conan O’Brien, and I’m honoured to be the last human host of the Academy Award. Yes! Yeah! Next year, it’s gonna be a Waymo in a tux. So check that out.”
For the non-US travelling Aussies among us, a Waymo is a driverless car. They’re everywhere in LA. And unfortunately, the robot revolution doesn’t look nearly as cool as I, Robot made it out to be.
Conan boops Timothée Chalamet for his ballet and opera comment
Of course he did! He was always going to mention it. It’s wasn’t a torch, just a “oops, silly billy, you might have lost the Oscar but we can laugh about it. [Editor’s note: at the time of writing, the Oscar for Best Male Actor has yet to be announced.]
“Security is extremely tight tonight, just gotta mention that,” Conan said. “I’m told there’s concerns about attacks from both the opera and ballet communities. They’re just mad you left out jazz.”
Cut to Timothée (sitting next to a red sequinned Kylie Jenner!) laughing along and presumably desperately hoping this becomes a footnote in his career, not a defining moment.
Conan torches Netflix for heralding the death of cinema.
Against the backdrop of the “Netflix-ification” of content, where artistic vision is being dumbed down so people watching TV while scrolling on their phones can follow along, it was a power move from Conan to drag Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos to his face.
“A lot of cool people are here, and some of them behind the scenes,” Conan said. “Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos is here. And this is exciting. It’s his first time in a theatre.”
He put on a condescending voice and talked directly to Sarandos. “This is what they’re talking about!” he said, gesticulating to the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood. Then he flipped, pretending to be Sarandos. “Why are they all together and enjoying themselves? They should be home alone… where I can monetise it.”
American healthcare gets yet another (rightful) jab.
“In Hamnet, William Shakespeare‘s wife, Agnes gives birth by herself in the woods. Here in America, affordable health care.”
The crowd kind of grimmaced.
“Too real for you, huh?” Conan countered. “All right.”
Ryan Coogler is better than the rest of us.
“Sinners director Ryan Coogler said he declined to become a voting member of the Academy because he doesn’t like judging his fellow artist’s work,” Conan said. “Yeah, but the rest of you pricks seem to love it.
Rose Byrne is a perfect angel.
“My co-star, Rose Byrne, is nominated for best actress in If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You. It’s hard to act in a scene with someone you’ve always had a massive crush on, but, Rose, you did a fantastic job. Admirable restraint.”
No notes.
Amazon taking over literally everything.
“Amazon Studios didn’t receive any nominations this year. Also shut out: Walmart. Why isn’t the website I order toilet paper from winning more Oscars?”
WHY INDEED.
The Epstein files: America vs the UK edition.
It wouldn’t be a 2026 cultural moment without at least a reference to the Epstein files. Conan made his moment short but oh-so-sweet.
“It’s the first time since 2012 that there are no British actors nominated for Best Actor or Best Actress. A British spokesperson said, ‘Yeah, well, at least we arrest our paedophiles’.”
Multiple Michael B. Jordans
“By the way, I have to say, again, Michael B. Jordan, you were incredible,” Conan said. “Incredible, identical twin brothers, Smoke and Stack in Sinners. Just amazing. I cannot get enough of this man. So as a special treat, every seat filler at tonight’s Oscars will be Michael B. Jordan.”
The camera cuts to Michael B. Jordan look-a-likes, ready to roll.
Conan attempts to create another Leo meme.
I wouldn’t call this Conan’s BEST moment, but it certainly was a moment. Conan joked that Leonardo DiCaprio is one of the most memed actors of our time, and uh…. attempted to make another one. Credit to Conan: this joke would have killed in like 2018.
“Leonardo DiCaprio is here? Sir? Good to see you. I value you. He’s the star of so many movies, and the king of memes. He’s the king of memes, this guy. Let’s make a new meme with Leo right now: That Feeling When You Didn’t Agree To This.”
The moment was a little clunky, but as Conan said, “They’ll pull that up in editing.”
A shout out to the unbelievable work behind each movie.
As anyone who’s watched The Studio can appreciate, the fact that any movies get made at all is a kind of miracle. And when they do, it happens because hundreds or even thousands of people manage to work together to create something. It wouldn’t be an Oscars ceremony without a semi-pretentious shout out to the power of film, but at a time when the mythology of AI is increasingly behind bean counter decisions to axe jobs, not to mention an increasingly violent world where short form videos of literal war are scrolled past before bed, it was a nice moment to remember what film as an art-form actually represents: humanity and connection.
“If I can be serious for just a moment, everyone watching right now, around the world, is all too aware that these are very chaotic, frightening times,” Conan said. “It’s at moments like these that I believe that the Oscars are particularly resonant. Check it out. 31 countries across six continents are represented this evening. And every film we salute is the product of thousands of people speaking different languages, working hard to make something of beauty. We pay tribute tonight, not just to film, but to the ideals of global artistry, collaboration, patience, resilience, and that rarest of qualities today: optimism. So let us, please, celebrate. Let us celebrate not because we think all is well, but because we work and hope for better.
Conan crowns himself the winner
And of course, he ended it with a shout out to every winner who acknowledges their fellow nominees, cast, crew, spouses, etc… but said it couldn’t be him. And then crowned himself the winner of a made up award (“Best Achievement”), was given a crown and coronation robe, was blessed by the Pope, and was serenaded by Josh Groban on stage. As you do.
Get this man back every year.
Watch the Oscars on 7Plus.
Lead photo: Getty / Channel 7.
The post Conan O’Brien’s Fire Oscars Monologue Rips AI, Netflix CEO & Timothée Chalamet appeared first on PEDESTRIAN.TV .
