STORY OF THE BLUES
Tim Howard, Sylvain Distin, Johnny Heitinga, Seamus Coleman, Phil Jagielka, Pippin Neville, Leighton Baines, Mikel Arteta, Leon Osman, Tim Cahill, Yakubu: oh, what happened to you, whatever happened to The Fiver, what became of the people we used to be?
On 17 October 2010 those 11 Evertonians in blue, ably assisted by second-half subs Billy Bilyaletdinov, Tony Hibbert and Jermaine Beckford, were the last Toffees to stick it to Big Red in the Merseyside derby. Goals from Cahill, with his boxer’s bounce, and Arteta, with that immovable barnet, saw off a crack team from across Stanley Park managed by Mr Roy, then in the process of having himself swiftly erased from that Mount Rushmore banner Liverpool fans emboss their bosses on.
For Liverpool fans, a late cameo from Milan Jovanovic was the final insult, to follow comic turns from Greek tragedy Sotirios Kyrgiakos and future East Thurrock United legend Paul Konchesky. Those were such different days, a time when Lord Ferg saw something of himself in callow 47-year-old whippersnapper David Moyes. And this was also Liverpool’s bottoming out before a renewal could begin. Two days before Goodison, Texan JR Ewing impressionist Tom Hicks had lost his ownership of the club and in came JW Henry and Fenway Sports Group to eventually prove themselves the acceptable face of sports capitalism.
“I have had no bad experiences so far with Evertonians,” blabbed Jürgen Klopp on Friday, perhaps reflecting a lack of fire in the fixture these days, give or take his own Mark-Roberts-with-clothes-on streak across the pitch when Jordan Pickford goofed at Anfield in December. This, then, is derby weekend, with Spurs v Arsenal at Wembley and there’s the Scott Parker Trophy being played between Fulham and Chelsea. There’s even El Clásico on Saturday night for those underground football hipsters.
But in terms of the Premier League, and a title race in which Liverpool fans, players and friendly hacks are getting tetchy about being called tetchy, Goodison on Sunday is the place to be.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I have to remove that emotion as a manager. If I was making the decision with my heart, I’d be with Celtic for life, because it’s a club I’ve supported all of my life” – fresh from saying he’ll give “his life” for Leicester, Brendan Rodgers explains why he didn’t give his life for Celtic.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Get your ears around Football Weekly Extraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
FIVER LETTERS
“Re: Cheap Panini – Man Red have tried to patch over their PR snafu, but like an Ilexi Sanchego substitute appearance, it’s too little, too late” – Jim Hearson.
“Re: Cheap Panini, actually, I thought Man Utd should have been pleased. The drawings were really quite flattering” – Carol Stewart.
“Roland Duchâtelet wants to sell Charlton to the Football League (Thursday’s Fiver). Would they pass the ‘fit and proper owners’ test?” – Robert Darby.
“After more than 15 years of reading about Leo Messi (is he the next Maradona? Is he as good as Him? Is he the best ever etc.), it’s difficult to find a new angle on him. However, in the Paris Review of Books, poet Rowan Ricardo Phillips has a go (at taking pretentiousness to a whole new level that is)” – Noble Francis.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our letter o’the day is … Robert Darby, who wins Shirt Tales and Short Stories: The Lost World of Football Kits. Plenty more prizes to come.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Maurizio Sarri has said Kepa Arrizabalaga will be back in goal for Chelsea sooner rather than later after being put out on the naughty step. “The Kepa situation now is closed,” he growled. “I’m sure in one of the two next matches Kepa will be on the pitch.”
Uefa has decided Chelsea will not face punishment for what the club themselves described as antisemitic chanting by their own fans at a Big Vase game in Hungary.
If Ralph Hasenhütl was Ed Woodward, he’d upgrade Ole Gunnar Solskjær from Manchester United caretaker vibes man to permanent boss. “To be unbeaten to now is amazing and outrageous,” yelped the Southampton manager. “You can’t have better signs to be the next man.”
Meanwhile, Solskjær has hinted club captain Antonio Valencia may be heading towards the Old Trafford door marked Do One. “He’s had a fantastic career here,” blabbed Solskjær, “but at the moment I’m not sure if Man Utd and Antonio will agree on the next year.”
Liverpool’s Roberto Firmino may recover from ankle-knack in time to face Everton. “Bobby was outside running,” cheered Jürgen Klopp. “I don’t see any other player who would even be in contention after the problem he had. He’s very positive – that’s Bobby’s nature.”
And chest-beating giant among men Marouane Fellaini scored the winner for Shandong Luneng in a 1-0 victory on his Chinese Super Duper League bow.
STILL WANT MORE?
Premier League: 10 things to look out for this weekend. Go on, count them.
When Everton defied their form and rattled champions-elect Liverpool. Steven Pye jumps in his time machine and whizzes back to March 1988.
Sticking with the retro theme, join Ramez Nathan for a recap of Serie A’s great golden oldie goalscorers.
Sean Longstaff? He’s the new Michael Carrick with added ice in his veins, writes Louise Taylor.
Never mind, Claudio, you’ll always have Leicester, soothes Paul Wilson.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
.jpg?w=600)
