Name: Detectorists.
Starring: Mackenzie Crook, Toby Jones and Rachael Stirling.
Channel: BBC Four.
Age: Two thousand years old.
Two thousand? Sorry, I meant four. Four years old. It is a Bafta-winning sitcom about metal-detecting hobbyists that was first broadcast in 2014. It is easy to get confused.
Is it? I would have thought it was obvious that the series did not begin in ancient times. BBC Four only launched in 2002, for a start. Fair point. But Detectorists is quite good at confusing people about its age.
Explain that weird remark. It starts in a ploughed field in Suffolk. Two middle-aged detectorists called Andy Sampson and Paul Adams were looking for treasure.
Sorry, is this on TV or in real life? Real life. The TV middle-aged detectorists were called Andy and Lance. Anyway, Paul suddenly came upon something that looked like a coin and called Andy over, shouting: “Roman gold! Roman gold!”
That must have been exciting. Just a bit. A hoard of ancient gold coins is basically the holy grail for detectorists.
Surely the holy grail would be the holy grail? All right, but it’s still amazing. As they scanned the ground, Paul and Andy found more and more coins until they had 54 in total, along with some fragments of pottery.
How extraordinary. And lucrative. “We weren’t sure how much they might be worth but we had six Emperor Nero coins and we knew they were worth £26,500 each,” Andy said later. “We sat there in total disbelief.”
Why do I think this won’t end well? The next day, when Paul and Andy showed the coins to a friend with 40 years’ experience, they realised what had happened.
Which was? That the makers of Detectorists had buried those coins, and a pot, while filming the show last year. They had meant to go back for them, but Paul and Andy beat them to it.
So they aren’t rich after all? Nope. The coins are worthless props. “I was gutted,” Detectorists writer and star Crook said when he heard what had happened. “I hope they continue searching and I hope they find their real gold soon.”
Do Paul and Andy plan to sue him or something? I don’t think so. “It’s a bit of bad luck, but we have laughed about it,” Andy said.
Do say: “Props to Paul and Andy.”
Don’t say: “It’s comedy gold!”
