Stephen Colbert
On Wednesday evening, Stephen Colbert anticipated Thursday’s first anniversary of the 6 January attack of the Capitol, “that horrible day when millions of Americans stared at the TV in shock, and grief, and said, ‘Ah crap, is that Uncle Dave?’”
The Late Show host, one of the few not still on vacation or out with Covid, zeroed in on the latest revelation from the House select committee investigating the attempted coup. Earlier this week, the committee requested that Sean Hannity cooperate with the investigation, citing texts between the Fox News host and the White House which suggest advance knowledge of Trump’s planning for 6 January.
According to publicly released documents, on 21 December 2020, Hannity texted the White House chief of staff, Mark Meadows: “I do NOT see January 6 happening the way he is being told.”
“So Hannity clearly knew what was coming,” Colbert said. “I wouldn’t be surprised if the former president planned this coup with the knowledge of the entire Fox News lineup, including the commercials.
“Apparently, Hannity saw some downsides to destroying our system of representative government,” Colbert added, pointing to a text from 5 January, in which Hannity told Meadows he was “very worried about the next 48 hours”.
“So he either had advance knowledge of the plot, or he had just eaten three Taco Bell Burrito Supremes,” Colbert joked. “Either way, he knew the next 48 hours were going to bring chaos.”
The Biden administration plans to acknowledge the anniversary with solemnity, including a prayer service. Trump, meanwhile, planned remarks doubling down on his election lies during the Capitol prayer service to “counterprogram” the remembrance events. “Yeah, you can’t let remembrance events go on without counter-programming!” Colbert mocked. “Same reason at a funeral, you’ve got to bring out an insult comic for the people who are glad the guy’s dead.”
On Monday, Trump cancelled the event, citing “the total bias and dishonesty of the January 6 Unselect Committee of Democrats”, among the other usual targets, and punted his rant to a rally next weekend in Arizona.
“It makes sense that he’s moving it from Mar-a-Lago to Arizona, considering their state motto: Arizona, America’s backup Florida,” Colbert joked.
Jimmy Fallon
On the Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon checked in on the latest guidance from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which advised those who had isolated for five days with Covid to take a rapid test if one is accessible. “You can read all about it in this month’s issue of Unhelpful Advice magazine,” Fallon joked.
“That’s right, another update from the CDC,” he continued. “Even Dr Fauci is like ‘Oh, I muted those months ago.’
“At this point, the CDC is like that annoying co-worker who emails you every five minutes like ‘just following up on this. Just bumping this up, guys,’” he added.
Fallon also lamented the first reports of so-called “flurona”, a combination of the flu and the coronavirus (or just having both at the same time). “Americans are so stressed they started smoking methajuana,” he quipped.
And in lighter news, New York’s governor, Kathy Hochul, permanently legalized to-go cocktails in New York City this week. “Then she said the same exact thing five minutes later,” Fallon joked. “New Yorkers are like, ‘Look, governor, if you think you’re just going to win us over – what? We love you.’”
