SADDLE UP!
It’s quite the weekend for horse lovers, featuring as it does both the Aintree Grand National and the Manchester Derby. Though, Ruud van Nistelrooy aside, this is a derby which has never really been linked with the equine world, predominantly because it’s contested by humans, and thus is not of essential interest to the aforementioned horse lovers who, should they have stumbled upon this tea-time email, can feel free to concentrate their attention on Aintree and in particular avoid reading the paragraph they are painfully coming to the end of, which has no real relevance to their hobby whatsoever.
Anyway, players from both sides have been remembering favourite derby moments of yore as they gear up for the latest meeting between Manchester’s rumbling footballing juggernauts. “When you score against United at Old Trafford it almost gives you shivers,” purred Sergio Agüero, who grabbed the winner there in 2013, “because you can feel the tense atmosphere with most of the stadium being really quiet, but the away end going crazy.” “I remember the year we beat them 3-2 with Robin van Persie’s free-kick right at the end,” countered Ashley Young. “I think looking back after the goal, the players were running off in different directions.”
A celebration not all that different from United’s apparent match-day tactics at times this season then, but with Louis van Gaal’s side having recently clicked more emphatically than an irate Xhosa-speaker it’s a good moment to look back at that particular goal. Van Persie’s strike back in December 2012 is topical because, like Jason Puncheon’s winner in City’s most recent game at Crystal Palace, it relied on a member of their wall squirming out of the way of a free-kick as it arrowed goalwards through the space where one of their body parts had until recently been. And ducking in a cowardly and distinctly unimpressive manner is pretty much exactly what City, the nation’s reigning champions, have done in this season’s title race.
A run of four wins in 11 league matches has seen them slip from the giddy heights enjoyed on New Year’s Day, when they and Chelsea were level at the top on points, goal difference and goals scored (while Arsenal were 13 points behind in sixth), to their current fourth place, a point behind their crosstown arch-rivals (and two behind the Gunners). And while they might not have walked the walk for some months now, they’re still talking the talk. “Of course we can still win it,” insisted Agüero of the title. “In football, anything can happen.” Obviously they’re not going to win it (not that the Argentinian could possibly say anything different) so it’s easy to see why Wayne Rooney’s pre-match analysis has identified this as “a very important game” for both sides. “For the fans and for me, it’s a massive game of pride,” he concluded and it looks like that’s all that’s really at stake on Sunday.
So then, as we enter the final furlong, only Arsenal’s insane form is stopping this title run-in from becoming a one-horse race. A little treat at the end there for any equestrian types who foolishly persevered. Sorry.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“QPR was in the paper every day … That got on my nerves. That was the big problem for me” – newspaper columnist ‘Arry Redknapp claims it was mischief makers, rather than anything to do with him, his management or that surprisingly healthy-looking knee that did for him at Loftus Road, apparently.
FIVER LETTERS
“If only Sky would cover the FA Cup final in the same way they cover the Masters. Three months of feverish build-up and then when the game starts, we zip to live coverage midway through the second half. Two passes later we can cut to the panel discussing that great Alan Sunderland goal in 1979 before crossing to the stats centre for an in-depth description of the Wembley pitch (YOU KNOW THE GOLF, er, FOOTBALL IS GOING ON RIGHT BEHIND YOU, DON’T YOU?). Then after live coverage of a throw-in, Lawrie Sanchez might reminisce (CAN WE PLEASE, PLEASE SEE SOME GOLF, er, FOOTBALL?) about that great goal in ‘88 and the panel might enthuse about the terrific game a young English debutant is having (REALLY? WELL HOW ABOUT WE ACTUALLY SEE SOME OF THE GOLF? I MEAN FOOTBALL HE IS PLAYING. THAT MIGHT BE GOOD) before cutting to a goal-kick and a disputed header before Matt Le Tissier describes the magnificent goal we missed while we were enjoying Lawrie Sanchez (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN WE SEE SOME, ANY GOLF? Er, FOOTBALL?). I’m guessing Augusta, er, Wembley looks lovely this time of year” – Guy Campbell.
“Re: Arsène Wenger saying Arsenal don’t have to sell their best players any more (yesterday’s Bits and Bobs). But how much are they getting for Jack Wilshere?” – Jerry Slaff.
“Re: Ed Taylor, Class Warrior (yesterday’s Fiver letters). I was so shocked by his casting of aspersions regarding faux working-class Guardian readers I nearly choked on my quinoa” – Patrick Brennan (and 1,056 others).
• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet the Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is: Guy Campbell.
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BITS AND BOBS
Liverpool have unveiled their new kit, with their players offering a variety of contemplative shots for assorted media outlets to assign subsequent transfer tittle-tattle to.
Diego Costa’s hamstring is going to be twanging until the beginning of May, according to José Mourinho. But Mikel John Obi is fit, so …
Meanwhile, over in Arnhem, Chelsea loanee Wallace has been arrested on suspicion of a sexual offence.
We don’t know where Sam Allardyce is going to be next season, and it looks like we’re in fine company, because Sam Allardyce doesn’t know where Sam Allardyce is going to be next season either.
Dirk Kuyt will return to Feyenoord this summer, nine years after he left the club for pastures new. “Feyenoord have always been a draw,” he cheered.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic has been placed on the Ligue UUuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnn naughty step to the tune of four games, after proclaiming that he’d “never seen a [good] referee in this $hit country” and that France “didn’t deserve PSG”. But on the up side, Marine Le Pen now doesn’t like him now, so every cloud.
In other brushes with officialdom news, His yellow card for an alleged tumble against Rayo Vallecano has been rescinded, allowing Him to plunder an implausible number of goals against Eibar on Saturday.
Bayer Leverkusen defender Emir Spahic is being investigated by the state prosecutor over allegedly introducing his head to stadium stewards after their German Cup exit against Bayern Munich.
And after waiting for five days for the retake, Leah Williamson held her nerve to finally convert the penalty that took the England Women U-19s side to the European Championships in Israel this summer.
STILL WANT MORE?
Barney Ronay attached his spectacles to a bit of string, hung them around his neck and wrote about Marcelo Bielsa, the man that we’d probably have to invent if he didn’t exist.
You are the Ref. No, you are. No, you are. No, you are. No, you are. No, you are. No, you [think that does the word count – Fiver Ed].
Ronnie Moore is on the verge of completing the greatest comeback since Lazarus at Hartlepool, and he told Louise Taylor all about it.
Ever wanted your own Louis van Gaal random phrase generator? No? Well we’ve got one here for you anyway, just in case.
There are loads of enjoyable things to look forward to this weekend, but instead of any of that Barry Glendenning, Paul Doyle and Gregg Bakowski picked out some stuff about football and the Premier League.
Tim Sherwood and his old Tottenham tactics board will be reunited this weekend, and David Hytner wrote about that emotional event.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace.
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