The other day, my boss tweeted about one of those fundamental facts of life that speaks to us all. It was this: the excruciating annoyance of being subjected to the keyboard click sound of a person’s mobile phone.
As Ionesco, the Romanian playwright, said, anguish brings us together. Is there anybody who isn’t instantly riled at this? Who doesn’t want to throw their hands up at the true horror of humanity, and around the phone owner’s neck?
Is it rude to ask strangers on the train to FFS TURN OFF KEYBOARD CLICKS ON YOUR MOBILE! I mean honestly, who has keyboard clicks on?!
— Jemima Kiss (@jemimakiss) April 28, 2015
The tat-tat-tat of a machine gun would be more soothing on the ears. The screeching wail of an unfed child. The sniffles of a common cold.
There’s often something about technology that removes us from displaying correct courtesy and etiquette to our fellow human beings. We forget we are dealing with real people, with real feelings and most importantly, a real finite source of patience.
People think nothing of staring at a screen relentlessly over dinner, but imagine whipping out a book and cracking a spine while dining with a friend.
If anybody is reading this thinking: “Oh, crap, that’s me, that is, with the keyboard clicking sound – but it was on by default, and I don’t know how to turn it off,” let me Google that for you.
Of course, the keyboard click is not the only irritating sound that can emanate from a phone, interrupting an otherwise relaxing journey through the Cotswolds, or whatever.
What about that “whoosh” sound of a text being sent? And the most awful, of course: the double barrel of leaking headphones or sodcasting – playing music out loud from tinny speakers.
There’s a fußball table in our office (of course there is – this is the Guardian), which, while awesome, is also the scourge of many a meeting taking place on the soft seating (again, this is the Guardian).
If two people are having a conversation, don’t rack up a clanging, racket-inducing game a metre away. It’s this kind of basic lack of manners – or, to put it less politely, rudeness – which is a pet hate.
And as technology has grown and spread and become a part of everyday life, we have new irritants to deal with.
It’s not just phones of course. The modern day equivalent of a fellow passenger reading a newspaper over one’s shoulder is now a colleague lurking a little too long at the desk to take a quick scan of your open tabs.
And what of email reply-alls? Reply-alls are mostly approximate to gathering up a bunch of people you don’t know, who do not care about you, and telling them something they have zero interest in. And then being subject to a number of other people’s responses. Which you also have zero interest in.
This also goes for being continuously looped into a Twitter thread which became boring around 20mins after the initial dialogue started.
What annoys you most about technology? Which are the worst crimes? Please leave your comments in the thread below.
