Click Richard

Breaking news, now, from the world of Cliff Richard. You'll remember Cliff's latest album, catchily titled Love, was priced in a reverse auction, so the more people who ordered it online, the cheaper it became (to a minimum of £3.99). A bit like what Radiohead did, but without the option of paying nothing at all. Anyway, would you believe it - so many people have downloaded it that it has reached the £3.99 basement price already! That's right - three people have bought it. We're kidding, of course. "I knew it!" said Sir Cliff. "Never underestimate a Cliff Richard fan. In half the predicted time well over a thousand of them have hit their computers and triggered a cut price online bargain for my latest album. That's many, many more than those who bought online last time. Well done. I'm proud of you." Not as proud as Monkey is of you, Cliffo.