As the Cavaliers and Warriors prepare to face off in the NBA finals, here’s a look at how Cleveland and Oakland measure up where it counts: from pop-cultural cachet to historical arcana.
Namesake
The city at the mouth of the Cuyahoga River was founded in 1796 by Connecticut surveyor general Moses Cleaveland. The name was shortened to Cleveland to fit on the masthead of the long since defunct Cleveland Advertiser newspaper. Oakland was named for a line of oak trees that extended from present-day downtown. Equally to the point and devoid of metaphor.
Edge: Push
Sporting heartbreak
The 1988 Oakland A’s won 104 games and appeared poised to walk over the Los Angeles Dodgers in the World Series. Then an infirm Kirk Gibson hit a pinch-hit, walk-off home run against lock-down closer Dennis Eckersley in Game 1, and Tommy Lasorda’s underdogs took the series in five games. That’s nothing compared to Cleveland, whose unprecedented championship drought spanning 156 combined seasons includes such lowlights as The Fumble, The Shot, The Drive and Red Right 88.
Edge: Cleveland, by light-years
Signature song
Ian Hunter’s Cleveland Rocks, later covered by The Presidents of the United States of America as the opening theme for The Drew Carey Show, has become a de facto anthem within city limits. Tower of Power’s Back to Oakland is a delicious 70s swell of funk and grit.
Edge: Oakland
Fictional athlete
Jake Taylor, Rick Vaughn, Roger Dorn, Willie Mays Hayes and Pedro Cerrano – the meat of the Major League order – rate among the most colorful baseball characters ever committed to celluloid. Oakland native Mark Curry played Mark Cooper, a former Golden State Warriors player turned gym coach living with two female roommates in 90s sitcom Hangin’ With Mr Cooper – sort of a Three’s Company for the nascent hip-hop generation. Seemingly a no-brainer for Cleveland, but ... that theme song.
Edge: Push
Anti-hero
The bulbous biceps of Jose Canseco helped bash the Athletics to three straight pennants before embracing a whistleblower role on the steroids issue with his 2005 tell-all book Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant ’Roids, Smash Hits & How Baseball Got Big. American Splendor author and Cleveland lifer Harvey Pekar author spent decades finding the sublime in the mundane.
Edge: Cleveland
Critical darlings
Cleveland’s Cloud Nothings have been Pitchfork favorites since their 2009 debut, while Oakland-based tUnE-yArDs topped the Village Voice’s annual Pazz and Jop critics poll with 2011’s Whokill.
Edge: Oakland
Must-eat munchies
Skyline’s famed Three Way Chili in Cleveland, or dim sum at Alameda’s East Ocean Seafood Restaurant? Too close to call.
Edge: Push
Famous foursome
Oakland’s En Vogue had a string of irresistibly catchy hits in the early 90s, but no one of them is bigger than 1996’s double-platinum smash Tha Crossroads, the Eazy-E elegy that vaulted Cleveland’s Bone Thugs-N-Harmony to No 1 on the Billboard Hot 100.
Edge: Cleveland
Local libation
We love the Pacific Coast Brewing Co’s Ultra Yellow, but a slight edge goes to the Dortmunder Gold of Cleveland’s Great Lakes Brewery Company.
Edge: Cleveland
Master of horror
Cleveland native Wes Craven is the demented mind behind Last House on the Left, The Hills Have Eyes and the Nightmare on Elm Street series. Yet that was nothing compared to the carnival-like carnage of the Oakland Raiders’ final decade under longtime owner and general manager Al Davis.
Edge: Oakland
Iconic coiffure
Oakland lays claim to Sway Calloway, the MTV News staple and co-host of The Wake Up Show. Yet we’ve long run out of descriptors for the light-socket hairdo made famous by wretched, slimy, reptilian boxing promoter Don King.
Edge: Cleveland
Shameless huckster
Dr Mehmet Oz, born in Cleveland to Turkish immigrants, went from Oprah-approved surgeon and TV personality to peddler of miracle weight-loss products debunked before a Senate subcommittee. Former Oakland A’s batboy MC Hammer went from one of the world’s biggest pop stars to Cash4Gold pitchman.
Edge: Oakland
Ageless wonder
Hall of Fame quarterback and placekicker George Blanda played 26 years for the Raiders until retiring a year before his 50th birthday. Halle Berry, named after an iconic Cleveland department store, is apparently 48.
Edge: Cleveland
Force of nature
Cleveland had Jim Brown. Oakland has earthquakes.
Edge: Cleveland
