Comedians swapped punchlines for punches last night. Cult Edinburgh Fringe event The Wrestling has now grown and been rebranded Clash of the Comics, but the format remains the same. Stand-ups risked both bruising and humiliation grappling with each other and pro-fighters in aid of Comic Relief. Luckily most escaped with some light leotard chafing. Just don't say it was fixed.
It might have been closer to panto at times, with moves rehearsed and planned, but halfway back in the stalls one could hear bodies thumping onto the onstage canvas. Even choreographed leaps come with danger. Tuxedo-smart compere Ivo Graham speculated on a sequel to Live at the Apollo — "Dead at the Apollo".
Maisie Adam was first into the ring against genuine pro, Nina Samuels, who did not go easy on the Brighton-based entertainer, yanking her neck back and ramming her face into the ropes. This was no joke. Adam clearly took her role seriously and set the committed tone for the night.
Next up was the "tag team tornado". Disorganised chaos until it's last team standing. Competitors included current Taskmaster contestant Ania "Slam-Ya" Magliano, “Ringfluencer” Abi Clarke, Sarah Keyworth and Edinburgh Comedy Award winner Amy Gledhill.
Gradually they were eliminated until the only comics left were Max "Voltage" Olesker, and Ivan "Watt-Age?" Gonzalez. If the rumble was rigged they would have surely triumphed, as they created this event back in 2011. Instead Matthew Crosby and Olga Koch pulled off a shock victory — particularly surprising as they were roving reporters, not actually on the match card.
Elsewhere Rosie Jones was featured onscreen receiving first aid from best-selling medic Adam Kay, while Joe Lycett played a Brummie Bond villainish CEO who had masterminded the whole thing.
Commentators were Sara Pascoe, Nish Kumar and DJ Greg James, who recently interviewed Taylor Swift. Ivo Graham asked James if this was a step down or up, to which he responded, not entirely convincingly, "Just the same".
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The second half featured the most eagerly anticipated smackdowns. James Acaster had issued an open challenge to all comers, but probably didn't expect his opponent to be ex-rugby star and current Celebrity Traitor Joe Marler. The build-up was Rocky-meets-Vegas, complete with cheerleaders and Acaster suspended by a wire. A speedy departure was somehow inevitable, hopefully without serious injury.
For the finale it was left to Acaster's Off Menu podcast co-host evil Ed 'The Gambler' Gamble to take on heroic Phil 'Kill' Wang for the champion's belt. At one point the impressive muscular Gamble was favourite, until Wang, with the help of Rosie Jones and a large stick, made a match of it. No spoilers here as it will air on U and U&Dave next month.
Did it matter who won? Do we care who wins at panto as long as everyone gets to boo the baddies? The appreciative roars from the crowd underlined that this one-off spectacular was an absolute knockout. Can we have it weekly please?
Clash of the Comics is set to air on U and U&Dave next month
