The implication of your article is that the sorts of activities associated with a celebration of life cannot happen in a religious setting (‘Celebrations of life’ increasingly replacing traditional funerals in UK, report shows, 6 August). Of course they can! In my church we have had people’s dogs as part of the ceremony; we have had coffins decorated with pigeons or second world war aeroplanes, or in team colours; we have all sorts of music – we have danced down the aisle to the Morecambe & Wise signature song Bring Me Sunshine and gone out to I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles, with a bubble machine providing the bubbles. We have had many a laugh recalling things the late loved one said and did. This all takes place in a 12th-century building.
But there is a more serious point. A funeral needs to acknowledge that someone who was dearly loved has gone, and if the whole ceremony is given over to fun and frolics, there is something missing. Some people will feel they need to wear black and need an opportunity for reflection within the service; they are grieving, and this needs to be acknowledged.
Priests and pastors do their best to reflect the family’s wishes, and to combine a sense of mourning with a positive reflection of the person’s life to bring comfort to those who are bereaved. So don’t write off the potential of a religious ceremony in a church building or crematorium to provide a good sendoff.
Rev Ruth Cartwright
Hadleigh, Essex
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