To be as clear as the crystalline waters in which the characters here frolic before their blood turns the ocean the colour of sangria: this is grade A tosh. It’s a deeply stupid high-concept feature wherein a bunch of bourgie wedding guests run afoul of an errant great white shark. The twist is (and it’s really not much of a surprise) that the true enemy is not really the shark, which is only following its sharky instincts. No, the bad guy is a bereaved weirdo called Roy (Jim Klock), who wants revenge on the shark for eating his wife in the opening pre-credits sequence.
Alice Eve, who is also one of the film’s producers, at least seems to be having a bit of a giggle playing Tina, the most resourceful of Roy’s victims. Tina is a lawyer who should be enjoying the first days of her marriage to Tom (Eric Michael Cole) after their lavish destination wedding – except it looks like they are heading for a swift annulment, because ecowarrior Tom is disgusted with Tina for considering taking on an oil company as a client. They can’t make peace on the topic, and in the middle of an endless bicker they are press-ganged into what is supposed to be a relaxing three-hour cruise with a bunch of disposable secondary characters.
The daft script, credited to Joe Leone and director Jonathan Zuck, practically draws targets on these supporting characters’ backs, daring the audience to guess which annoying idiot will be thrown overboard first to engage with the toothy foe. It looks like the film-makers have mostly relied on practical effects for the attack scenes, and even real sharks for some shots – which would be persuasive if only the severed limbs didn’t all look so absurdly plasticky. But you get the sense that everyone involved is in on the joke, and having a laugh along with the viewers.
• Chum is on digital platforms from 17 August.
