Christmas Eve
The Incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm
8.30pm, BBC1
A nostalgic big-brushstrokes comedy, with Harry Hill’s wide-eyed stare a good fit for the manic Professor Branestawm and his hare-brained Heath Robinson-style inventions: a machine for herding cats, a robot father and – “imagine that!” – a portable telephone device. David Mitchell and Ben Miller ham it up as the panto villains trying to put a damper on things.
Julie Walters: a Life On Screen
9.30pm, BBC1
“A trace of lipstick on an old French letter – these foolish things remind me of you – I don’t think you can say that on the television can you?” By turns hilarious, humble and filthy, Julie Walters is effortless company as she rattles through rude versions of music hall standards and a career that has included Educating Rita, Harry Potter and Calendar Girls, and playing both Mary Whitehouse and Mo Mowlam. Old friends, including Victoria Wood, Alan Bleasdale, Celia Imrie and Willy Russell, confirm what we’ve suspected all along: she’s great.
Gogglebox 2014
9.30pm, C4
A year’s worth of highlights of the Gogglebox crew sitting on the sofa shouldn’t be this entertaining.
Christmas Day
Strictly Come Dancing
5pm, BBC1
With 2014’s dancing queen Caroline Flack already basking in her post-win glow, Brucie’s back to break out his best cracker gags and host this “panto-themed” special with Lisa Riley, Chris Hollins, Louis Smith, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Rachel Stevens and Russell Grant.
Doctor Who
6.15pm, BBC1
Of all the places in time and space he could visit, somehow the Doctor always seems to wind up celebrating Christmas. What are the odds? Hopefully the Doctor’s latest “dark” incarnation, Peter Capaldi, will be able to temper the tendency for the Tardis to materialise on the festive cheeseboard. Nick Frost is this year’s Santa-sized conundrum for him to wrangle with – but the big question remains: will this really be Clara’s last chance to deck the Tardis with tinsel?
EastEnders
9pm, BBC1
Sylvie and Dean show up Chez Carter to make sure there’s enough “OI!” in the square’s celebrations to pack a proper Christmas “doof-doof” EastEnders.
Downton Abbey
9pm, ITV1
The Crawleys break with tradition by actually having a Christmas-themed moment at the Abbey; but first they’re decamping to Northumberland for a marvellous spot of autumnal grouse-shooting with Rose’s new inlaws. It’s all barking at socialism, trying to save Anna from being hanged and fending off the machinations of grumpy guest butler Alun Armstrong. Then the clan are back to deck the Abbey halls, where we learn that Lady Mary loves a tree-side carol almost as much as she loves juggling eligible bachelors.
Boxing Day
War Horse at the Proms
5.25pm, BBC2
Just in case you didn’t read the novel, see the stage play or watch Steven Spielberg’s film – here’s another take on Michael Morpurgo’s moving first world war heartbreaker. The Handspring Puppet Company’s uncanny, life-size Joey is very much the star, with the Royal Albert Hall filled by Gareth Malone’s Military Wives and the BBC Concert Orchestra.
Boy In a Dress
6.55pm, BBC1
David Walliams’ children’s story is one of the bolder festive family offerings this year – and not just because it isn’t set in a soft-focused past. If you’ve read the novel, you’ll know it’s about a 12-year-old cross-dresser who comes into his own after a chance encounter with a fashion mag. Walliams stars alongside Jennifer Saunders, James Buckley, Meera Syal and Kate Moss.
The Day We Sang
9pm, BBC2
Imelda Staunton and Michael Ball sing and dance their way through Victoria Wood’s musical as a couple meeting in 1969 to film a documentary about being on the 1929 (real-life) recording of Nymphs and Shepherds as members of the Manchester Children’s Choir. Nostalgic, for sure, but as ever it’s all undercut by Wood’s sharp observations of snobbery and class.
Match of the Day
11pm, BBC1
The first of MotD’s holiday treble finds Gary Lineker’s gang unwrapping highlights from Chelsea v West Ham, Arsenal v QPR and Man U v Newcastle. Get used to Gary’s seasonal gags – they’re back on the 28th and 1 January.
The rest of the week
Top Gear Patagonia Special
Saturday 27 December, 8.30pm, BBC2
With all the “Argy-bargy” headlines following Jeremy Clarkson’s “Who, me? Offensive?” numberplate you may have forgotten that the Top Gear trio were actually in South America to make this festive special and not just to kick off a diplomatic crisis.
Homeland
Sunday 28 December, 9pm, C4
Meanwhile, back in the land of stuff you may have been watching all year, Carrie’s tour of Pakistan comes to an end. Best series since the first? It has certainly been more focused without Brody (that freak-out acid-cameo aside).
Mapp and Lucia
Monday 29 December, 9.05pm, BBC1
“She always follows the latest fashions – we can only hope that one day she catches up to them …” Miranda Richardson and Anna Chancellor are more than a match for each other as Lucia and Mapp in this delicous, acid-tongued adaptation of EF Benson’s 1930s cut-throat world of garden fetes from Steve “League of Gentlemen” Pemberton.
Charlie Brooker’s 2014 Wipe
10pm, BBC2
Isis, Farage and Kim Kardashian breaking the internet? Should be plenty in there for Mr Brooker to wipe away.
Jools’s Annual Hootenanny
New Year’s Eve, 11.20pm, BBC2
Gathering round the hootenanny boogie woogie piano this year you’ll find Ronnie Spector, Ed Sheeran, Boz Scaggs, Paolo Nutini, Ellie Goulding, William Bell, Paloma Faith, Wilko Johnson, Joss Stone, Clean Bandit with Jess Glynne and Hayseed Dixie.
Roald Dahl’s Esio Trot
New Year’s Day, 6.30pm, BBC1
Dustin Hoffman (shy) and Judi Dench (not shy) fluff around in Richard Curtis’s soft-as-sponge adaptation of Roald Dahl’s twilight romance as two neighbours bonding over a tiny tortoise. James Corden pops in and out to narrate, although to be honest, you’d have to have had a pretty heavy NYE the night before to get lost here.
The Clash: New Year’s Day ’77
New Year’s Day, 10.45pm, BBC4
Punk director Julien Temple has put together this special from previously unseen footage of the Clash playing in Covent Garden’s Roxy Club on 1 January 1977, chopped up with spiky period interviews from Joe Strummer and TV highlights from the era.
Nothing on? Try streaming Christmas
It’s a sign of the times; both Netflix and Amazon Prime have delivered two big new shows to stream in time for Christmas – the perfect chance for anyone looking to hibernate with a big chunk of all-in-one TV. Mozart In the Jungle (Amazon Prime) finds Gael Garcia Bernal, Bernadette Peters and Malcolm McDowell partying hard in the rarefied world of New York’s classical music scene. Marco Polo (Netflix) meanwhile is a historical romp, the sort of door-stopping bonkbuster that James Clavell used to dish out in airports, with newcomer Lorenzo Richelmy as the Venetian traveller enjoying Kublai Khan’s stately pleasure-domes. Benedict Wong is Khan, Joan Chen is Mrs Khan.
Elsewhere, there’s Transparent (Amazon Prime) – Jeffrey Tambor’s performance as a dad coming out as transgender to his adult kids has landed Amazon’s TV wing its first (well-deserved) Golden Globe nomination. Orange Is the New Black and House Of Cards both had decent second runs on Netflix this year, both well worth another 13-odd hours of your life.
Or what about one of those long-runners such The Good Wife, the perfect stream-if-you-haven’t-seen show (the first four series are on Netflix)? It’s an easy sell (mother of two returns to her legal career after her douchebag politician husband is jailed), with a great star (ER’s Julianna Marguiles), that builds into one of the sharpest shows around; a more-ish mix of courtroom drama, office politics and real-world parallels (eg, the Google-esque search engine “Chumhum”) that allows it to play with some crunchy, contemporary debates. Plus, the drinking game of downing a big glass of wine every time Alicia Florrick does is perfect for this time of year.
