Helen’s son Tom went from being a well-behaved teenager who received good grades at the grammar school he attended, to a boy his mother did not recognise. He started lying about where he had been and became defensive when asked questions; knives began going missing from the kitchen and money would turn up in his bedroom.
“Odd items started appearing in the house like money and cigarettes – he used to be very anti-smoking. Then he suddenly went missing for more than a week. That’s when things took a turn in a different direction,” Helen says.
Tom was eventually found by police, who told Helen her son had been groomed by a gang. From that point on, Tom fell deeper into the murky world of “county lines” drug trading, in which young people are recruited by dealers who offer them money to sell drugs in out-of-town locations.
“He was always 10 steps ahead of everyone. Everyone’s hands were tied and we did not know how to find him or where he was. It was extremely frustrating,” Helen says.
“He was exploited and he was a victim, but we were told he was choosing this lifestyle of criminality.”
She says this attitude stopped Tom from being referred to the national referral mechanism under modern slavery laws, which ensures they receive appropriate support. “That is a big failure by professionals and it stops kids.”
Last year, Tom nearly died after being stabbed, but such assaults are not uncommon in county lines. The National Crime Agency reported last year that county lines groups “impose high levels of violence, including the prevalent use of weapons and firearms to intimidate and control members of the group and associated victims”.
Helen says a lot of stabbings are the result of turf wars, and social media is also a trigger. “There is a feeling of not valuing their own lives. They are prepared to lead a short life as long as it is a life of bling and status. They don’t care if they are not going to live a long and healthy life ... When you have that situation, where someone is prepared to die young ... how do you compete with that?” she says.
She adds that since being stabbed, Tom has changed but she is not sure it is enough to make him quit that lifestyle. “We are having better conversations now, and he has been unreachable for a long time. When you are involved in these gangs you are taught to hate the police and to hate your parents. I am grateful we can communicate relatively well now.”
But escaping county lines dealing is not straightforward. “They say eight ways in and one way out,” Helen says.
The experience has taken a heavy toll on the family. “He bears no resemblance to my own son, he is a different human being. Lots of parents would not be able to deal with that and it’s easy to throw your child out in that situation, but I knew he hadn’t chosen the lifestyle. He had been groomed and whatever happened had been done to him,” Helen explains.
What does she think of how the problem is being tackled by the government? She believes not enough people like her, who have lived through it, are being consulted on how to combat it.
“The strategies around tackling serious violence don’t often involve listening to those who have lived it. But we should for our children. We owe it to them if an experience highlights a flaw in the system, people should pay attention and ask ‘where are we going wrong and how can we fix it?’”
• All names have been changed
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