Nov. 21--A recent survey I conducted found that the No. 1 thing people should be thankful for this Thanksgiving is that they have an extremely wise workplace advice columnist to guide them through life.
The survey had one respondent (me) and no margin of error. I was not available for comment on the survey, but undoubtedly would have said something remarkably wise.
While the No. 1 spot may be taken, there are many other work-related things we can be thankful for: having a job in the first place; sitting close to the person who always brings in treats; working for someone you don't hate.
I was pondering our work blessings when an email from LaSalle Network, a Chicago-based staffing and recruiting firm, came along offering a list of "5 Unexpected Things to be Thankful for at Work."
I assumed they had done my work for me, and then I started reading the list:
1. Hefty hours. Long hours at the office means there is work to be done, the company is growing and you are accomplishing goals.
OK, that's a peppy way to look at that, but I guess I can get on board.
2. Military Manager. An assertive manager with a strict agenda will test you; accept the challenge. They are there to make you better.
Really?
3. Chatty Co-workers. Talkative colleagues may seem irritating, however this means they care. It's nice to have support at work.
What? Whoa, time out, List of Unexpected Things to be Thankful For. What the heck are you trying to pull?
The remaining two items involved "chaotic culture" -- it keeps you motivated and engaged! -- and "stacked schedule," which apparently "makes days go by faster" and "keeps you alert."
Oooph. That list violates one of my cardinal rules of workplace thinking: Don't blow sunshine up people's butts.
I could easily add a few items to that cheerful list:
--Stapler injuries. Pain can be invigorating, blood loss is a quick and easy way to shed pounds and screaming will get you noticed at work!
--Long, unnecessary meetings. Hey, they make everything else in life seem great, including ingrown toenails and listening to your kid spend 45 minutes explaining every nuance of a new video game.
--Gum-smacking co-workers. Learning not to leap over a cubicle wall and stab someone with a pencil enhances your sense of self-control.
You get the idea.
There are plenty of lemons in the workplace, and there is simply no effective recipe for turning them into palatable lemonade.
What I prefer, and what I'm thankful for, are solutions. And in the absence of solutions, at least a willingness to acknowledge that something is a problem.
In life and at work, we're all guilty of stepping around the elephants in the room, rather than politely asking them to move or to stop chewing their peanuts so darn loudly. That's the easier route, since elephants are large and unwieldy and more than a trifle intimidating.
But what do elephants fear? Don't say mice, because that's folklore that many elephantologists (or whatever they're called) discount. The correct answer is: ants.
A 2010 study in the journal Current Biology found that elephants avoid eating ant-infested acacia trees. Turns out the giant herbivores worry terribly about ants crawling up their trunks.
So if workplace problems are elephants, we -- the workers -- are ants. That seems appropriate, since we all work together to accomplish goals and hate it when kids try to burn us with magnifying glasses.
As worker ants, we must crawl up the long trunks of our elephantine workplace problems and bite them until they go away. Or something like that.
My point is, let's take the not-so-good things at work and find ways to address them head on, rather than trying to carve them up and discreetly throw them in the trash can like we do with Aunt Barbara's pumpkin pie. (Good grief, Aunt Barbara, WHY DO YOU USE SO MUCH NUTMEG?!?!)
Are you working too many hours? You need to communicate that to your manager before you burn out. And managers, if someone comes to you concerned about being run ragged, you need to take that seriously and compassionately.
Are your co-workers too chatty? You need to be up front and say, "Hey, I'm really sorry, but I have a ton of work to get done and I need to focus." And if you're the chatterer, you need to respect that, and be a little more cognizant of your own behavior.
We're never going to be thankful for everything at work, but much of what bugs us can be easily addressed if we're honest, kind and direct.
Don't just glare at the elephant. Be the ant.
Then you'll have more to celebrate this Thursday than just your wise, life-guiding workplace advice columnist.
Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone.
TALK TO REX: Ask workplace questions -- anonymously or by name -- and share stories with Rex Huppke at IJustWorkHere@tribune.com, follow him on Twitter via @RexWorksHere and find more at chicagotribune.com/ijustworkhere.
