Jan. 07--Whether you need their (extremely specific) tutorials or not, you can rejoice at the arrival of OMGYES, a new website devoted to demystifying female pleasure.
Bolstered by research from Indiana University's School of Public Health and the Kinsey Institute and featuring interviews with dozens of women, step-by-step videos and touchable simulation technology (exactly what it sounds like), the site is a welcome acknowledgment that women have sexual appetites in their own right, above and apart from satiating their partners.
It's more radical than risque -- plenty explicit (especially the touchable videos that allow viewers to hone their techniques) -- but not nearly as graphic as what a quick Internet search will turn up for those who are so inclined.
The site's power, though, lies in its willingness to take a tired cultural trope -- that women are indifferent to sex -- and turn it on its head. All too often -- in songs, in magazines, in lazy ad copy -- we're fed a narrative about the insatiable male appetite and the female's responsibility to satisfy it. Her enjoyment becomes an afterthought.
Not at OMGYES.
The brainchild of co-founders Lydia Daniller and Rob Perkins, a self-described "lesbian and straight guy" duo who became friends at the University of California at Berkeley in the late '90s, the site is aimed at women, men and couples who don't want the female orgasm to remain shrouded in mystery.
"Our culture has been so uncomfortable with the specifics of women's pleasure that it's been controversial even to broach the topic," Daniller told me. "Whenever open conversation is stifled, and there isn't a factual basis to reference, misinformation flourishes."
Misinformation helps no one.
Consider my colleague's take, after he discovered the site: "You know those monks that devote lifetimes clustered around ancient texts trying to decode interpretations of exact meaning to come up with The One Bible?" he emailed to me. "That's how men are with the female orgasm."
He continued:
"Myths passed down from older brothers and relatives are holy texts until applied and failed, then the cabal confers, nudie mags are consulted and the whole thing devolves into frustration and self-gratification and accusations of being a selfish lover."
OMGYES, he estimates, will cut the learning curve in half, particularly because much of the learning can happen with a virtual partner.
Daniller said the touchable videos are an attempt to make the site as "real-life" as possible.
"We wanted to make the site experiential, to engage people in a way that was memorable and practical," she said. "We wanted it to be similar to real people showing what works for them, instead of experts explaining what works for others."
The site features a handful of free introductory videos and interviews, but you have to pony up a one-time fee of $39 to access more.
Predictably, OMGYES has its detractors, particularly on social media. Daniller is not deterred.
"People who have a gut reaction of being uncomfortable don't usually admit that they're uncomfortable," she said. "It can come out in all sorts of different ways, sometimes in resistance or hostility. We said when we were creating the site that if this doesn't make a lot of people uncomfortable, then it's not truly new and we're not doing it right."
I think they can lay those fears to rest.
hstevens@tribpub.com
