Feb. 13--Last week, in the midst of a blizzard, my Tribune colleague Jenniffer Weigel and I joined Smart Dating Academy founder Bela Gandhi for an evening of wine and dating advice.
Gandhi offered the sold-out crowd tips for finding love, and the women (plus three guys) peppered her with questions: When is it OK to go to each other's houses? How much sexting is too much? How do I handle it when men say I intimidate them?
A delightful woman named Kathy from the audience emailed us a few days later with one more request.
"Can you give us currently unattached folks a little love for Valentine's Day weekend and beyond? I'm sure I'm not the only one who might be up for events that don't require a date. ... Who knows? We could meet new folks out of it!"
Great idea. I contacted Gandhi, who offered the following advice for "turning your cab light on," her term for letting people know you're open and approachable.
--Volunteer. "I tell clients all the time, volunteering is a great way to meet people," Gandhi says. "You're giving your time, your effort, maybe even your money. You're making a difference. You're feeling good about yourself. And Valentine's Day is a Saturday this year, so you've got the whole day ahead of you." Pick a cause and spend a few hours championing it.
--Plop yourself in public. Gandhi counsels single folks to do something new every day -- pick a new spot to eat your lunch, grab your coffee from a different Starbucks, swing by the bookstore that just opened in your neighborhood. On Saturday, she suggests, set up shop at a cafe or other bustling public spot. "And bring props," she says. A pile of travel books, a page-turning novel, anything that invites a passerby to comment and keeps you from staring at your phone.
--Be chatty. Set a goal for how many people you'll introduce yourself to at any given event or outing, Gandhi suggests. "Promise yourself, 'I'm going to talk to five new people tonight,'" she says. Even if none of them turns out to be match-worthy (or single), you're honing your small-talk skills. "And expect acceptance," she adds. An optimistic outlook will help you come across as friendly, easy company.
--Hang out with couples. When you're single, it's tempting to avoid people who are paired off. But your couple pals can be a great resource. When you're ready to meet someone wonderful, Gandhi says, ask your friends and family to keep their eyes out for eligible relatives, co-workers, neighbors, etc. "Enlist your friends as your personal matchmakers," she says. Even if that means hanging out with them on Valentine's Day.
hstevens@tribpub.com
