Oct. 05--Some friends and I were talking recently about how our moms approached the topic of puberty with us when we were kids.
The answers ranged from "handed me a brochure, eyes cast downward" to "she didn't."
Times have (mostly) changed. Comfort and intimacy levels between moms and daughters have increased dramatically in the last couple of generations, and sterile, clinical brochures have been replaced by kid-friendly, highly accessible books.
Two such books are newly available this week: "Below Your Belt: How to Be Queen of Your Pelvic Region" (Women's Health Foundation) and "The Care and Keeping of Us: A Sharing Collection for Girls and Their Moms" (American Girl).
Both dispense immediately with the notion that girls' changing bodies are a source of shame or embarrassment, including the parts referenced in the first title, below the belt.
"We want you to know how important and amazing this part of your body is, how it functions, and how to treasure it and take good care of it -- so you can continue to grow and develop with a new sense of ownership and understanding," reads the introduction for "Below Your Belt."
The book, co-authored by Missy Lavender and Jeni Donatelli Ihm, covers everything from periods to bladder health to constipation, with anatomy lessons, health facts and hygiene and exercise tips sprinkled throughout.
Parents who'd rather not broach such topics may find this book lifts a big ol' burden from their backs. Parents who are comfortable tossing an occasional "perineum" into conversation may enjoy reading along. As the book points out:
"Your grown-ups do their best to keep you healthy and teach you how to take care of yourself. You can help them by becoming aware of how your body works, and communicate with them when you think something isn't right."
"The Care and Keeping of Us," the latest in the American Girl line of self-care manuals, is a three-book set: A how-to-say-it book for girls, a how-to-say-it book for moms and a journal for girls and moms to share.
The set, by pediatrician Cara Natterson, includes chapters on periods and puberty, but also touches on friendships, romance, sleep, clothing, electronics and other topics near and dear to adolescent girls' hearts.
"How to say it" bubbles throughout the books offer language for moms and daughters to broach touchy subjects in a way that will begin, rather than shut down, conversations. And "talking tips" offer ways to bring your best selves to those conversations.
"Listen sensitively," the book urges moms. "Avoid interrupting, but do respond after she's poured her heart out."
And this one, which I love: "Put yourself in your daughter's shoes. Try to understand what motivates her and what unnerves her. If you aren't sure, ask; this will help show you care."
Good advice for all of our relationships, really.
hstevens@tribpub.com
