Gavin Gunning had to get his face reconstructed in recent weeks and joked that Chelsea will see him coming because he now looks like Zoro.
But he would relish the chance to go toe-to-toe with Romelu Lukaku even if it means ‘getting ragdolled for 90 minutes’.
The Dubliner will captain Chesterfield when they travel to Stamford Bridge tomorrow evening to face Chelsea in the FA Cup third round.
And centre-back Gunning has made the glamour fixture in the nick of time having suffered a serious facial injury against Eastleigh on October 26.
“It was horrific,” Gunning told Mirror Sport. “I was lucky because had it been another inch to the left, I probably would have lost the sight in my left eye.
“I had 15 fractures in my face and my whole nose just caved in. I had fractures in my nose and my eye socket was all cracked.
“It was a bit like Billy Joe Saunders when he lost to Canelo Álvarez. That's what it was like and I've metal plates in my face now.”
Gunning continued: “I headed a ball clear but the fella got his foot around and caught me with a boot to the face. He didn't even get booked!
“At first I was told there were no facial fractures but the swelling was so severe you couldn't see it on the x-ray.
“But then I went to see another surgeon who said I had fractures everywhere. It wasn't great and I needed plates.
“They open your mouth out, pull the skin out, pull the face out and go up through there and put the plates in.
“I've got three big plates in at the moment and a mask like Zoro. It'd be hard to miss me."
Gunning, 30, was sidelined for two months but returned for the Conference table toppers in their last two league games.
But the injury kept him out of Chesterfield’s 2-0 win away to League Two’s Salford City in the previous round.
The FA Cup is a competition that hasn’t exactly served Gunning well over the years.
“Memories?,” he laughs. “Yeah, just getting slapped every time and then you're out. I never got a decent run, just slapped.”
He did play in two Scottish Cup finals; for Motherwell when they lost to Celtic in 2011 - he hit the crossbar - and when Dundee United lost to St Johnstone in 2014.
Not that Gunning takes much satisfaction from getting to those showpiece games.
“Nah, they were s***e because we should have won them both. We blew it. It’s just football, isn't it? Nobody died and you get on with it.”
Top of the Conference, Gunning doubts that Chesterfield’s league form will have any bearing against Chelsea but insists they won’t fear the challenge.
And while he expects Thomas Tuchel to rest some of his stars, he would prefer to face the big guns like Lukaku, who needs games following his return after a grovelling apology this week.
Gunning said: “It's a good money spinner for the club when you get one of the big teams.
“You want the big name players, because the lads who are not playing all that often will be trying their hearts out.
“If you play against the lads who are on £300,000-a-week, they mightn't care too much about it and just swagger about.
“But when you play the lads who are dying for a game, they're flying about the place. I’d rather be up against Lukaku or (Timo) Werner than one of the young lads.
“But there's no point going there and not enjoying it. We might never get to play against a team like that again.
“If they play the kids, then the only thing you can do is try and bully them. If they play their full team, well, f******g hell!
Meanwhile, Gunning has ruled out finishing his career in the League of Ireland.
The no-nonsense defender was linked with Shamrock Rovers in the summer of 2017 having left Grimsby Town only to then join Port Vale on a free.
And the Chesterfield skipper says a switch to Ireland is not on the cards as the UK is home now having lived there since 2006.
Gunning said: “I wouldn't come back. I know a few lads like Richie Towell have come back to play but it's not for me.
“I'm settled over here and I don't see myself going back. My son plays academy football here and I can't see myself moving back to Ireland.”
Gunning joined Blackburn Rovers in 2006 and then moved around to a host of clubs including Dundee United and Birmingham City.
He feels “lucky” to have experienced that longevity in British football, especially when so many Irish youngsters don’t cut it and return home.
“There were lads much worse than me who had better careers, and lads better than me who had worse careers,” he said.
“But it was my attitude that killed me when I was younger. When I was young, I had a s***e attitude and thought I’d made it when I joined Blackburn.
“Everyone used to blow smoke up my arse and that was the problem. When you're in and around the first-team at 17, that's what happens.
“Then you soon get a reality check in football but that's what it is. I went up to Scotland and did really well, team of the year and all that.
“I had a few big bids turned down for me and ended up coming to Birmingham but did my knee again for the third time and just floated about since then.
“But it’s been a good career and I see myself playing on over here.”
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