Cher wishes she could turn back time over Brexit

Cher. 2013 press image from Warner Music Photograph: Publicity image from music company

Name: Cher.

Age: 70.

Appearance: The UK’s greatest champion.

Do EU believe in life after love? Right, let’s put a stop to this early. No puns.

You’re no fun. No, but Cher is. That woman has the greatest, wisest, most opinionated, most newsworthy Twitter account in the whole world.

So what has she said about Brexit? She’s said:

NIGEL FARAGE & BORIS JOHNSON’S GAME OF“BREXIT DOMINOS”CAME CLOSE 2 WIPING OUT UK ECONOMY. THEY“HURT”THE VERY PPL THEY PROMISED BETTER LIVES2

— Cher (@cher) June 30, 2016

I beg your pardon? Look, this is just how Cher tweets. Indiscriminate capitalisation, random numbers, arbitrary punctuation. It’s a bit like being screamed at in a pub, admittedly. But at least she’s on our side.

It’s impenetrable. At least that tweet didn’t have any emoji in it. An hour later she wrote:

If BORIS Johnson OR NIGEL Farage,ACTUALLY Had To RUN Something,…LIKE A COUNTRY….
THEY’D 💩THEMSELVES‼️

— Cher (@cher) June 30, 2016

So she doesn’t think the leave campaign can put the country back together again? No. But it’s OK. She’s still rooting for us. An hour after that, she wrote:

The PPL Of U.K. R Strong,Beyond Belief‼️They Fought ALONE Against the Nazis,They were only thing that stood between Hitler&🇺🇸.MY💰‘s ON THEM

— Cher (@cher) June 30, 2016

That’s heartening, I think. Is she always so politically astute? Um …

No? Well, I mean she hasn’t quite grasped subtlety yet. In the aftermath of the Istanbul airport bombings, for example, she tweeted:

WE ALL PRAY FOR INNOCENT PPL IN TURKEY AIRPORT 💣💥

— Cher (@cher) June 28, 2016

Cripes. It’s fine. She’s since apologised, writing:

Been thinking about my Poorly Placed,Insensitively Timed“bomb
Emoji”.No Excuse💔I’m Used
2 Using Emoji 2Help Say More Than 140 Letters.Sorry😥

— Cher (@cher) June 29, 2016

You could argue that using emojis at all in a tweet commemorating the victims of a bombing is probably in bad taste. Yes, but she’s apologised. Also she’s Cher. This is her world. We just live in it.

Do say: “[praying hands emoji]4CHER SHE, Has“GOOD” understanding OF [Union Jack emoji] [toilet emoji] [crying face emoji] [giant double red exclamation mark emoji]”

Don’t say: “Can we get a translator in?”