Right, that’s all from me. I’ll leave you with tonight’s remarkable final scores and an email from Kevin Lee asking: “How much do you think Ashley Cole is enjoying his post-Chelsea jaunt through Big Cup?” Thanks for your emails. Good night.
Full-time
And that’s that. Chelsea were brilliant tonight. Maribor were not up to much but they weren’t the worst team Chelsea will face this season – and that’s worrying for anyone who meets them. So far there have been 40 goals in tonight’s games. What ever happened to defending?
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Goal! Chelsea 6-0 Poor Old Maribor (Hazard 90)
This is a wonderful finish. Ake lofts a pass to the Belgian on the inside right channel. He’s afforded way too much space by Suler, but let’s not dwell on that. Hazard does a little Cruyff turn inside, twists back to his left and shapes to shoot before shifting the other way and curling home from 12 yards. Stunning stuff. Well done Chelsea. You win.
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87 min: This is beyond exhibition stuff now. Matic, Drogba and Ivanovic combine beautifully to work some space for the right-back on the flank. He cuts inside and switches play to the left but the move fizzles out. But then …
86 min: “Hi Gregg,” writes film star Amin Aboushaku. “Speaking of Marvellous, I’m actually in the film, as I had the honour of filming as an extra with the crew of Marvellous when they came to Keele University (where I study). Sadly, my friends obstruct me most of the time, but if you’re eagle-eyed, I am in three scenes: the SU scene (I’m in the corner of the shot next to the Chinese girl), the Keele Chapel shot from above (walking behind the chapel and down into the courtyard), and the classroom scene (I have my back to the camera, but I’m wearing a grey jumper and have black hair). Just FYI.” Send your requests for autographs to Amin Aboushaku at Keele University.
85 min: Chelsea are very good at football. That is an opinion I have arrived at after seeing them a few times this season. Yes, this may only be Maribor, but their movement, passing and creativity when attacking tonight has been effortless.
83 min: Meanwhile, Bayern Munich’s Twitter feed is giving out to the Baggies. What’s German for banter? Yes, that.
81 min: Ivanovic romps up the right wing after being played in by Drogba. His cross is curled in with pace, but a deflection takes it into the grateful arms of Handanovic.
80 min: Bayern Munich are 7-1 up in Rome. Yes, 7-1. Who do they think they are? Southampton?
Goal! Chelsea 5-0 Maribor (Hazard 78 pen)
The Belgian waits for Handanovic to go right … and then rolls the ball into the left-hand corner. Cap and slippers, Chelsea. Cap and slippers.
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Penalty to Chelsea!
77 min: Ivanovic, throws himself in the air after minimal contact from Suler and wins the softest of spot-kicks. Hazard to take this time …
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75 min: Willian has almost snapped the crossbar with a thumping strike from 20 yards after some lightning footwork. The Brazilian did a little stepover and shifted the ball twice to his right before letting go and clattering the bar.
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73 min: More substitutions: Tavares is off and Mendy is on up front for Maribor. And 17-year-old Dominic Solanke makes his Chelsea debut. The striker replaces Oscar.
71 min: The Maribor manager, Ante Simundza, really knows how to make a player who has just experienced very public disappointment, feel a whole lot worse. Off goes Ibraimi and on comes Zahovic.
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69 min: “Maribor really have been putting together some nice little moves,” writes Matt Dony. “Excellent passing and movement, but getting pushed around. They could be a few solid gym sessions away from being a very good team.” Or a diet of steak and milk, Matt.
66 min: Oscar wants in on this party. He shifts the ball twice across the line of Maribor defenders on the edge of the box, and then whips a wicked shot towards – but just past – the far post.
65 min: Chelsea break at such speed from the missed penalty that Hazard goes close with a chance that I don’t even see, the rapid little so and so.
When it's not your night, it's not your night!
Ibraimi’s penalty is struck firm and left-footed right into Petr Cech’s right-hand post. Poor Maribor. They need more turbo-charged folk music to get their mojo going.
Penalty to Maribor!
63 min: Matic bundles into the back of Ibraimi and it is a clear penalty. That was a bit daft from the big midfielder. Ibraimi to take it …
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60 min: Matic took a heavy knock on the shin before Fabregas was replaced but he should be OK. It wasn’t muscular. He’ll run it off. Chelsea are keeping possession with immeasurable ease. They’re not in a hurry to do anything with it, which makes it a poor spectacle, but ho-hum.
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59 min: Nathan Ake, 19, replaces Cesc Accentgras. He’s “been praised for his versatility due to be being able to play at left back, centre-back and in a defensive midfield role. This versatility is a result of his good work ethic and professionalism combined with his gifted technique,” so says somewhere else on the internet.
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56 min: Oh the ignominy. Viler is immediately substituted. He’s replaced by Vrsic. To be fair the own goal was the least of his sins. He’s given Ivanovic and Hazard a free pass down the right wing all night.
Goal! Chelsea 4-0 Maribor (Viler OG 54)
It’s not Maribor’s night. But this goal came about because of some twinkle-toes skill from Filipe Luis on the left. He raced on to a Willian pass and took two lightning quick touches off either instep to evade the onrushing defender and drive a ball across goal to Hazard. The Belgian miscontrolled with the goal gaping but then knocked a cutback against Viler and into the net.
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51 min: Hazard plays a delicious one-two with Drogba on the edge of the box and should shoot and score but instead tries a double drag-back and gives Suler the chance to steal the ball when only eight yards out. Lovely cushioned returned pass by Drogba. His touch is often overlooked because of the accolades he receives for his power.
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49 min: Maribor look bright and nippy in possession, but just aren’t able to deal with Chelsea physically. Matic seems to be able to step in and snuff out Maribor passing moves at will. Chelsea are a big, strong, talented team.
47 min: Chelsea begin where they left off, basically hogging the ball. They win a corner on the left. It’s swung in to the six-yard box with a bit of pace by Hazard, I think, for Zouma to jump highest and head powerfully – but too centrally – at goal. Handanovic collects.
Right, the second-half is underway! But just a quick recommendation. I only got round to watching Marvellous: the story of Stoke City kitman Neil Baldwin, last night. It’s brilliant. Funny, touching and just a lovely story. Four days left on catch-up in case you’re wondering.
Some love for Branislav Ivanovic …
“He never really gets any plaudits, but Ivanovic really is one hell of a footballer. Solid out wide or centrally, pushes up well, very quick, great cross, and scores a fair few. Tough and reliable – a great asset,” enthuses, erm, Speakeasy Ray, which is a hell of a name.
I agree, um, Speakeasy, he’s not as attacking as Pablo Zabaletta – another brilliant right-back – but he’s so very reliable and gets his fair share. I think he scored nine or 10 the season before last.
Here’s the half-time scores elsewhere in the Champions League, where Shakhtar appear to be having a little party at BATE. Oh, and ignore that cock-up in the Roma-Bayern scoreline. It’s 5-0 to Bayern. They’re dancing a little dance too.
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Half-time: Well, if it stays like this – which it might if Chelsea put their slippers on in the second half – my prediction will be good.
43 min: And then Ivanovic should score but jabs over. Hazard put the turbos on down the right, before jinking inside and hitting a cross-shot at Handanovic, who parried into the six-yard box for the Chelsea defender to knock over. Should have been 4-0.
41 min: Ivanovic goes romping into space on the right again, where Viler is standing off him like an Under-12s full-back. He wins a corner, which is decent, but ultimately punched out by Handanovic.
38 min: Fábregas looks as though he’s been at Chelsea for 10 years. He’s so comfortable. Having Matic alongside helps, mind. Hazard has a pop from distance but it’s saved and then Terry is bundled into by Ibraimi and does that thing where he looks really badly hurt but is then up on his feet giving it the Big Talk within 30 seconds.
37 min: Chelsea pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass. You’re missing very little. Meanwhile, look how economical Loic Remy was.
35 min: Some ‘humour’, courtesy of Matt Dony. “Drogba scoring, after benefiting from someone in the ‘Makkelie role’. Mourinho looking pleased. It’s one bad pun away from being 2006.”
33 min: If Mourinho could take every Chelsea player off now he would do. Apart from Remy’s injury, he’ll be delighted. He’ll tell his players to break into nothing more than an Abel Taarabt-style jog in the remainder of this game. All thoughts will be on United at the weekend.
Goal! Chelsea 3-0 Maribor (Terry 30)
You weren’t expecting that were you? Drogba clears a dire Maribor corner to Hazard near the halfway line. He drives at the Maribor defence and reaches the edge of the area, dangling the carrot while Fabregas overlaps to his left before playing him in to curl a low cross into the six-yard area where Terry has stomped all of 90 yards to slide in and score. Lovely counter-attack. This could be a proper mauling.
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29 min: Maribor win a corner …
27 min: Maribor are enjoying a spell of possession that is more sterile than an NHS compress pad. Chelsea, meanwhile, look dangerous and direct when they have the ball. Maribor’s defence hasn’t got a clue what to do about Hazard, who is drifting into any available space he can find.
26 min: Where does this game go from here?
Goal! Chelsea 2-0 Maribor (Drogba 23 pen)
And he bangs it home, hitting it right-footed with a bit of curl into the bottom left-hand corner and sending Handanovic scuttling the wrong way across goal. The Chelsea fans enjoyed that. Poor Maribor.
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Penalty to Chelsea!
Handball given against Merteli! Willian cut inside in the box and the ball bounced up on to the Maribor midfielder’s hand. That seems very harsh but Danny Makkelie gives it. Up steps Drogba to try to score his first Chelsea goal since returning to Stamford Bridge.
20 min: Chelsea are flowing now. They’re pinging the ball around for fun.
17 min: “You’re doing the accent on Fabregas the wrong way round,” writes a pedantic colleague who I shan’t name and shame. No accents from hereonin. The shortcuts confuse my fingers and anger Catalans. Back on the pitch, Ivanovic has just drilled a low cross in to Hazard at the near-post, but the Belgian can’t get his foot at the right angle to flick it across his body and on target.
16 min: Some catching up to do here. Ibraimi had a long-range effort parried wide by Cech just before Remy limped off. It bounced nastily in front of the Chelsea keeper, who did well to see it round the post.
14 min: And then Remy is substituted. He pulled his groin while either scoring the goal, or running on to Terry’s through-ball. I’m sure Mourinho will be delighted about that. He’s replaced by Drogba.
Goal! Chelsea 1-0 Maribor (Remy 13)
It’s not Fábregas who picks the pass, though, it’s Terry, who wins possession halfway inside the Chelsea half and curls a delicious ball around the back of Remy, who times his run to perfection. He enters the box, opens his body up, and curls the ball around Handanovic with his left foot. A smart finish.
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10 min: Oscar has a dig from distance. It’s not a good dig, though. His shot lacks belief and rolls harmlessly wide. Chelsea need this man to get into his rhythm.
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8 min: Chelsea are standing off Maribor and letting them play. Merteli has space in the middle, but instead of using possession wisely, he takes a wild stab from distance and sends a shot whistling way over the bar. Chelsea need to pick it up.
6 min: Maribor play some lovely intricate football in midfield, with Ibraimi dropping deep and playing a return pass with Filipovic before sliding the ball wide to Viler, who is unmarked and drives to the byline. His cross is well-directed to Tavares, but the lack of pace on it prevents the striker from getting any power on the header, which drifts over the bar. That was some slick football from the Slovenians though. Footballing turbo-folk, if you like.
5 min: But it doesn’t beat the first man. What ever happened to the corner?
4 min: Chelsea win a corner …
2 min: Chelsea, as you’d expect, have the lion’s share of possession in the opening couple of minutes. Fábregas, as is his way, slots a ball through a gap in the defence that doesn’t appear to be there for Remy to turn and drive into the box, but he is muscled out of it by Rajcevic.
Peep! We’re under way. Maribor, in yellow, are shooting from left to right on my screen (probably yours too). Chelsea, in blue, the other way, of course.
“Re that rainbow pic, if that were a pic of the East Stand, I would say the rainbow leads directly from Munich to Berlin. It isn`t though … damn my superior geography skills,” parps Julian Menz.
So, the teams trot out on to the Stamford Bridge turf, but we have a loose end to clear up. Apparently a modern interpretation of turbo folk when applied to Slovenian music would sound like this, so says Matjaz Hrib.
It sounds a bit gothic to me. It needs more turbo …
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A handy sign at Stamford Bridge here, in case you’ve come down from Mars to watch a game of football.
Ah …
An email: “Where would you have Chelsea in your list of potential Big Cup winners? I think they’ve got a great chance this year because of the firepower they’ve added,” says Martin McCarthy. “I also don’t see a better team in Europe at defending en masse and killing games when needs must.” I’d back Barça, Real, Chelsea and Bayern to make the semi-finals. Defensively Chelsea are probably the best in Europe but their success from thereon could depend on Costa’s fitness. He’s so important to Mourinho’s gameplan – and against the very best they need him fully fit and at his very best.
Slovenian tourism dept
I’d be making arrangements for the away match already if I was a Chelsea fan. Look how quaint Maribor looks …
Get your fill of Slovenian folk music right here. A few too many beats per minute for folk, no?
So three changes for Chelsea from the Crystal Palace lineup, with Cech, Zouma and Filipe Luis coming in for Courtois, Cahill and Azpilicueta. Still, it’s not a bad side is it?
The teams
Chelsea: Cech, Ivanovic, Zouma, Terry, Luis, Willian, Fabregas, Matic, Hazard, Oscar, Remy. Subs: Courtois, Ake, Drogba, Salah, Cahill, Azpilicueta, Solanke.
Maribor: Handanovic, Stojanovic, Rajcevic, Suler, Viler, Mejac, Mertelj, Filipovic, Bohar, Ibraimi, Tavares. Subs: Cotman, N’Diaye, Sallalich, Zahovic, Mendy, Vrsic, Arghus.
Referee: Danny Makkelie (Netherlands)
Evening. Will Maribor do what Schalke did in the Champions League and take a point off Chelsea at Stamford Bridge? Probably not, but the plucky Slovenians have drawn 1-1 at home to Sporting and 1-1 away at Schalke thus far, which isn’t to be sniffed at and suggests that, at the very least, they can make themselves difficult to beat. That’s not to say Chelsea – with all their well publicised injury problems – shouldn’t win this game comfortably, but just that it might not be the goalfest that some think it could be.
The Maribor manager, Ante Simundza, perhaps had an eye on this fixture when his side slipped up at the weekend and lost 2-1 to Celje to fall to third in their domestic league, but he suggests we won’t be hearing the beep, beep, beep of the team bus reversing into position in front of goal tonight. “Our mentality is to win. To play offensively. We always try to go for the win, but we will not be pushing without thinking. We want to find our positive side and their negative side – and hopefully get a result,” he said. They’ll likely pin their hopes of nicking a goal on the former Brazil under-23 player Marcos Tavares and Agim Ibraimi, once of Cagliari, in attack tonight.
Meanwhile, José Mourinho will not have Diego Costa available, in case you haven’t heard, and may start Didier Drogba’s old legs up front for this one. Not that he’ll be resting players, what with so few to choose from, oh no. “I don’t have Man Utd in mind. I have Maribor in mind,” he said. “I don’t rest players. We must play with what we have, with the best we have.” Poor José.
Whoever he manages to scrabble together in attack (Remy, Willian, Oscar, Hazard, Drogba etc) it’s fair to say, they’ll probably do the business.
Prediction: Chelsea 3-0 Maribor
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