This is an over-puckered kiss. It's quite simian - when apes do this, they're usually excited about food. His chin is raised, his eyes are closed - he's really gone back to basics. Photograph: Leon Neal/AFP
This is a schoolboy kiss. He's keeping his distance; it looks like someone has told him to kiss his aunt. Their bodies aren't touching - he's being very well-behaved. Photograph: Jonathan Hurdle/Rex Features
This is 'the clinger'. It's a control kiss - she has her arm around his neck and he can't move away until she lets him. It's also an opportunity for a whispered conversation, so it's a functional kiss. Photograph: Albert Ferreira/Rex Features
This is a display kiss. The actual kiss is not so important as displaying the awards. It looks like Vanessa had won the more important award of the two, and this status is reflected in the kiss. Photograph: Richard Young/Rex Features
I call this the Radox kiss: you need to spend a month in the bath after it. It's the ultimate control kiss - he's knocked her off her feet and she has to cling on to him. It harks back to Gone with the Wind, but we no longer live in a Rhett Butler age. Tom Cruise does this with Katie, but at least they look like they practise it at home. This is like a cross between an attack and a kiss, masquerading as something romantic Photograph: STRDEL/AFP
In a way, this is the most intimate of all the kisses. It's a non-mutual kiss: he's approached from the side and she's not joining in. It's a wee bit grovelly - he's giving her a higher status. But the way his nose is pressed in is quite intimate. She's glancing to the side, as if to look for an escape route. Photograph: Jason Reed/Reuters
This is a friendly, flirtatious kiss. It's probably the most flirtatious of all the kisses, but it's not sexual. She's pouting and making him feel manly; flattering him and boosting his ego. Photograph: Miquel Benitez/Rex Features
This is the most Hollywood kiss of the lot. It's so willfully contrived: she has a perfect facial expression, as always, and a perfectly placed hand. This pose is usually used by celebrities to announce an engagement, but in this case, she's just showing off a big piece of bling. She's probably got a dummy at home to practise on. Photograph: Rex Features
This is the ultra-feminine social kiss. They're both kissing each other with averted faces, to avoid smudging their makeup. Lulu is wearing a smug smile, like the cat that got the cream, reflecting her superior experience and status. Photograph: Richard Young/Rex Features
This is the specs kiss. Normally one would whip one's shades off to avoid poking someone's eye out, but she has held back. It's an etiquette-breaking kiss, which is particularly strange as she's kissing someone who writes her enormous cheques. Photograph: Ray Tang/Rex Features
This is Sarkozy's signature two-handed grab - he does it to all political leaders. He's obviously got height issues, but also testosterone issues. He likes to present himself as Mr Machismo. The more threatening he finds someone, the tighter he holds them - he believes in keeping his friends close and his enemies even closer. But he's probably on his tippy toes. Photograph: Peter Macdiarmid/Getty
The Queen is interesting. She never uses 'mirroring' - changing her body language - she simply bends forward. The only exception is when her two grandsons kiss her Photograph: Rex Features
