MIDLANDS MANAGERIAL MAYHEM (PT. XXXVIII IN AN ONGOING SERIES)
The Midlands used to be a region renowned for managerial stability. Brian Clough was in charge at Nottingham Forest from 1975 to 1993. Matt Gillies spent most of the sixties at Leicester City; Arthur Cox the bulk of the eighties at Derby County. Major Frank Buckley managed to hold on to his job at Wolves for 17 years between the wars, despite spending the majority of that time chasing after his players wielding syringes full of monkey bongo juice, with a wild look in his eye. And George Ramsay was the main man at Aston Villa between 1263 and 1977, a fecund period during which the club won 98 league titles and 36 FA Cups. (Those figures are off the top of The Fiver’s head, though probably not so far out as you’d think.)
But times change. For example, the region’s last two championship-winning managers were gone within a year of landing the big one. Ron Saunders walked out of Villa in a hot funk early in 1982, refusing to give back the keys to his company Merc. More recently, of course, there’s Claudio Ranieri, who, upon being turfed out by Leicester within a few months of glory, could have been forgiven for staging a vehicular protest of his own. Perhaps he could have hotwired Kasper Schmeichel’s £100,000 BMW i8, the car he’d helped him win, tied the FA Premier League trophy to a length of rope from the back bumper, and performed doughnuts in the club car park, much like the stunt George Costanza pulled with the World Series trophy when trying to get himself sacked from the Yankees. But he didn’t do that. He’s a nice man, Claudio. That’s The Fiver’s fantasy, not his. Hmm, we’ve gone well off-piste here.
So yes, times change. And these days, Midlands clubs get through managers at a shameless rate. Villa and Leicester have been bad enough lately, but they’ve got nothing on Forest and Derby. Forest recently got rid of Philippe Montanier, whose name we just had to look up, while on Sunday night Derby threw Steve McClaren out on the street, followed by his coat and the hat he should really think about wearing. Montanier was Forest’s 16th full-time boss in 20 years; McClaren was Derby’s equally brazen fifth man in little over a year. But there are signs both clubs are desirous of regaining some of that old-fashioned stability. Forest have now appointed Mark Warburton, who has won promotions at his last two clubs, Brentford and The Pope’s Newc O’Rangers, while Derby have handed their reins to Gary Rowett, whose reputation was decent enough but has gone stellar since Gianfranco Zola took his job at Birmingham and set about doing his thing. Good old juxtaposition.
With exquisite timing, the new men will meet at the City Ground on Saturday. As if further illustration of recent tendencies was required, it will be the fifth consecutive east Midlands derby where both clubs boast a different manager in the dugout: as well as McClaren and Montanier, this fixture has recently been contested by Darren Wassall and Paul Williams, Paul Clement and Dougie Freedman, and McClaren – during his first stint at Derby – and Stuart Pearce. But that run’s got to end soon, and The Fiver can see Rowett and Warburton contesting this famous rivalry for many moons to come. Unless one of them wins promotion next season. Or Forest get relegated next month. Or Warburton suddenly and unexpectedly leaves his job in confusing circumstances for the third time in as many years. Actually, let’s not make any rash assumptions quite yet.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“The fans can call me what they want. When they have somebody who wins four Premier Leagues for them, I’ll be No2. For this moment, ‘Judas’ is No1” – in surprising news, José Mourinho reacts to Manchester United’s tedious and cynical 1-0 defeat at Chelsea in the FA Cup by pointing at himself and screaming: “Me, Me, Me, it’s all about Me!”
FIVER LETTERS
“Hard to imagine that this week José Mourinho will be suggesting referees should offer Eden Hazard more protection – which is what he said in January 2015, February 2015 and again in July 2015” – Graham Haslam.
“If, as Siddharth Singh (yesterday’s Fiver letters) and most of the professional yapmeisters on 5 Live suggest, momentum is the key to footballing success, surely it’d be easier to increase the mass of your players rather than trying to increase their velocity? I’m fairly sure this is the philosophy that Micky Quinn and Nightclub Patrick followed, and that Wayne Shaw was merely trying to spread to a wider audience” – Louise Wright.
“As a Ramsbottom County fan I’d like smugly to correct Noble Francis on his incorrect account of our proud club’s 2007-08 Premier League adventure (yesterday’s letters). There were in fact only a mere 32 consecutive games without a win – the incompetence carried on for a further five games back in the Championship. The rest is correct though. Oh, and none of us know what the Derby Way involves either” – David Hopkins.
“How do I unsubscribe from Noble Francis letters?” – Sid McDonnell.
• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Graham Haslam.
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BITS AND BOBS
Sevilla boss Jorge Sampaoli is wary of Leicester’s threat in their Big Cup last-16 return leg. “They seem a lot more decisive now, they are going for it again,” he tooted. “With the side that came to Sevilla there was a bit more confusion but now they are back to the team that won the league.”
Wilfried Bony has lifted the lid on his life in the shadows at Stoke. “I want to know why I’m not playing,” he sighed. “It is really crazy … I can say it is like maybe to pi$$ you off, that you don’t play. I have asked [Ailsa from Home and Away] and he says I am training well, my attitude is good and I don’t need to change that but why I don’t play, I don’t know. I do wonder sometimes why I came here.”
Emre Can claims stalled contract talks at Liverpool are nothing to do with his Mr 15%’s demands. “I read in newspapers it was about money but it isn’t about money,” he sniffed.
Around 650 MK Dons fans are nervously making their way for a date with their biggest influence, AFC Wimbledon, where there will be a greater number of high-vis jackets on display than usual for Tuesday night’s League One stramash.
New Pope’s Newc O’Rangers boss Pedro Caixinha is already playing fast and loose with realism. “I do believe that [the Queen’s] Celtic wants [the Pope’s Newc O’] Rangers to be strong,” he honked. “This is for sure the biggest club in Scotland. I want to make this club even bigger than it is … and to get it on the way in order to be unstoppable. We are talking about European trophies.”
And Oldham boss John Sheridan is appealing against his sacking by Notts County for gross misconduct. An FA report following the Magpies’ defeat at Wycombe in December revealed that Sheridan told fourth official Matthew Donohue: “You’re a [effing cee]. A [cee].” before railing at ref Eddie Ilderton: “You’re a [effing] disgrace, you’re [effing] useless, you’ve not [effing] got anything right today, you should be [effing] ashamed, you’re [effing ess], my kids aren’t going to get any [effing] Christmas presents because of [effing] you.” Unsurprisingly, County owner Alan Hardy has got the right funk on. “The conduct shown by Mr Sheridan towards the match officials in this instance was nothing short of scandalous,” he fumed. “I am not prepared to tolerate any member of my staff abusing referees and officials in this manner.”
STILL WANT MORE?
David Squires on pesky scene-stealers, Robot Wars and “Wexit”.
Quiz! Quiz! Quiz! Name the footballers who have played for the following pairs of managers.
José Mourinho’s Eden Project to kick Chelsea’s mercurial Belgian around SW6 was ruined by the little man’s twinkling toes and Phil Jones doing the conga, writes Barney Ronay.
How Anthony Vanden Borre went from being the future of Belgian football to playing in DR Congo. As told by Ed Aarons.
Did United’s use of a back six show the best way to try to put the skids on Chelsea? Michael Cox answers this tactical teaser so you don’t have to.
Are Leicester City ready to seize their Big Cup chance against Sevilla? Yup, reckons Stuart James.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
