How are you feeling? Still reeling from the news that attractive people are more likely to be rightwing? An American study published in the Journal of Public Economics has concluded that attractiveness correlates with people’s politics. As the authors explain: “When we are treated differently we begin to perceive the world differently.” Would you believe it – beautiful people are treated better, achieve higher status, earn more and, as a result of all this good fortune, end up seeing the world as a fair place. It’s entirely logical.
What a relief. You see, I have a slight preference for Scottish Tories. It’s confusing. The last three men I have truly lusted after have all been Scotsmen to the right of me on the political spectrum. I can’t accept that it’s coincidence. One’s a fluke. Two’s a disgrace. Three’s a trend.
Twitter was aghast when I revealed my truth. My followers, on the whole a liberal lot and usually so accepting of sexual diversity, didn’t hold back on shaming me for my choices. Tories were “disgusting”, they’d “rather be ugly than rightwing” and anyway, Tory men “all end up looking like walruses”. That may be what they believe, but I happen to have met some perfectly fine young men on the right, thank you very much.
First there was Fraser (names have been changed), an artist in his late 20s and resident of a rather large bachelor pad in Edinburgh’s elegant New Town. I met him in the Kays Bar, where he appeared to me, a working-class girl from a council estate in Nottinghamshire, as a very exotic creature. With his tousled blond hair and received pronunciation, I was hooked. A few dates in, I let him take me up Arthur’s Seat – but only, I’m afraid, in the literal sense. He’d never met a transgender woman before and it all proved a bit much for him. I couldn’t help feeling that he was worried what his parents would think. Gentry, from what I could tell.
Pity. I could have led a smart life in the New Town. Fraser’s spacious apartment, Barbour jackets and cocksure charm made for a heady mix. And I couldn’t help but wonder: is there a part of me, as a trans woman, that is attracted to conservatives precisely because of the suspicion they wouldn’t accept me? Is this the ultimate validation, a union with a pro-Union Scot? Or is it just the taboo factor it holds within much of my social circle?
Then came Duncan. Early 30s, professional and self-identified middle-class. I can’t say for sure he was a Tory, but I had my suspicions. He didn’t seem as upset about Trump as me. After he praised Theresa May for “talking tough” on Brexit, I had to ask him outright if he’d ever voted blue. “I think my family might have done, ages ago.” I didn’t delve any deeper.
And then there’s the new man. Soldier. Early 20s. Says he’s going to apply for political asylum in the US if “weak” Jeremy Corbyn gets in. He’s young, so who knows? Maybe he’ll grow out of it. I reject his politics but welcome his pheromones. He tells me I’m small-minded because I don’t see it working out long term. He makes me feel bad by saying things like “I don’t dismiss people just because they have different opinions to me”. Maybe I’m a bigot.
But can I really see myself settling down with someone whose politics are so different to my own? I certainly have friends I don’t agree with – I’d go mad otherwise. It worries me how polarised things are getting, so I’m happy to have a good-natured argument with someone over coffee. But marriage? We’re not talking about different music tastes here – it’s about our core values, the way we see the world and the direction we’d like to nudge it in.
I ditched someone last autumn upon discovering they read the Times, which has been churning out quite shameless anti-trans propaganda of late. When I asked him why he voted Tory, he said people make their own way in the world and shouldn’t be encouraged to be lazy and depend on state handouts. I believe most people want to get on in life and resort to benefits only when they’re desperate, as I and several women in my family have had to at various points. Thank God we had that safety net.
He had never been that desperate, so couldn’t empathise with people who have. And that’s the point – and something worth keeping in mind next time you see Tory politicians dismissed as “scum” – few Tories are deliberately cruel, in my experience – they just don’t understand how others can’t keep up. Even so, while mixed politics relationships work well for many couples, for whom the debate is largely academic, I do struggle to see myself being with someone who votes for policies that would directly harm me.
Wish me luck with Soldier Boy.
• Paris Lees is a freelance journalist
