Charlie Adam

'Kenny was new to eBay, but couldn’t help thinking that something suspicious was happening every time he bid on this item,' tippy-taps Chris Offord Photograph: Photomontage

Brian Corcoran is a Peanuts fan. '"Good grief!" sighed Charlie, as the transfer window closed' Photograph: Photomontage

Phil Brown has another Peanuts effort: 'Ian explains to Charlie why the club were so reluctant to let him go in January' Photograph: Photomontage

Here's Shane Langan: 'With Kenny Dalglish hanging luridly around the tangerine tree all transfer window, how did Adam and Ian manage to avoid temptation?'
Photograph: Photomontage

'Charlie insists he'll continue to be a model of professionalism at Blackpool,' giggles Phil West Photograph: Photomontage

'Charlie was devastated to learn he'd been sentenced to another six months in Holloway's jail,' parps Philip Gunns Photograph: Photomontage

Ian Holloway morphs into Ming the Merciless in Jason Froggett's effort: 'Escape for Cash Adam looks increasingly unlikely as Ming Holloway tightens his evil grip on the wantaway prisoner' Photograph: Photomontage

Talking of prisoners ... 'The police misunderstood the reports that Harry was trying to buy £10m of good quality Charlie,' snorts Adam Michie Photograph: Photomontage

Al Balmer paints a sorry picture for our protagonist Photograph: Photomontage

Douglas Fenech descends to even darker levels as he channels 127 Hours - and even manages to turn Ian Holloway into an amputation-inducing boulder Photograph: Photomontage

'Charlie waited, but the 201 bus to Merseyside never came,' sighs Simon Walsh Photograph: Photomontage