What, I hear you cry, is going on this week with Chantelle Houghton's pregnancy? Truly, this gestation has experienced more plot twists than Dickens' back catalogue, coincidentally keeping Houghton – a young woman who became sort of famous for looking like someone else – and the father of her child, Alex Reid – a man vaguely famous for briefly dating someone else – in the tabloid limelight.
There have been maternal health scares, fears expressed by the parents about their unborn child's future career as a topless model, tuttings over how other pregnant ladies behave, and so on.
The latest is that Reid was caught tweeting someone whose name I can't even be bothered to type, leading to a photoshoot in OK! involving a mournful-looking Houghton, protectively stroking her tummy while glaring at the "love rival". "Some of these girls will do anything to get their name out there," Houghton sighs. From the mouths of babes, eh?
